


Soul of my Soul

by Remlundskan



Category: New Kids On The Block
Genre: AU, Angst, Cheating, Domestic Violence, Donnie and Danny are cops, F/M, Gay Love, I promise, Joe is a porn star, Jon is in real estate, Jordan is a teacher, M/F Sex, M/M, M/M Sex, Murder Mystery, There will be a happy ending, Verbal Abuse, sex will happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 15:19:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 60,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3855478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remlundskan/pseuds/Remlundskan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jon met Harley two years ago, and fell helplessly in love with him after only two months, it seemed like the sun was finally starting to shine in his direction. After spending the better part of his life being in love with his best friend, who was quite possibly the straightest man in the universe, he had all but given up on the idea of someday standing in front of the altar with the one he loved.</p><p>The first time things got violent, it was Harley who broke down in tears. </p><p>After a while, Jon stopped counting. Sometimes he wondered why no one else seemed to notice, why his friends and loved ones didn’t react. And then he realized that it was because he didn’t want them to notice! He didn’t want them to react. He didn’t want them to know!</p><p>Because if Donnie found out, he would kill Harley!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction (duh!) and should not be taken seriously! None of this ever happened in real life! I don’t know these guys, don’t own them (would probably die of heart failure if I did), I’m just an old school Blockhead from Sweden who has two great passions in her life, writing, and NKOTB. Put those two together, and you get Soul of my soul! Now, I want it on the record that I absolutely adore Harley! I do! And for a huge Jon girl like me to write something like this, was extremely emotional and gutwrenching. This is just what happened when I was listening to Block Party and all these images popped up in my head. The Donathan fangirl was screaming at me to do something about it, and the only natural thing for me to do, was to write it all down!
> 
> So, read, enjoy, and see if you can find the hidden lyrics.

Part 1

It was a powerful blow! Not powerful enough to render him unconscious, but hard enough to send him tumbling backwards and land, not so gracefully, on his ass, right next to the radiator. The low humming was like the calling of an old friend. If he had been more prepared, he might have been able to stand his ground, but he never saw it coming and so, he was back on the floor. He had been in this position many times before. Too many times. He knew exactly what would come next, and still, he flinched when Harley came closer.

“I’m sorry, baby!”

Jon Knight really hated his life!

‘No, you’re not!’ He thought to himself, his hand pressed against his head. There was a slight ringing in his ears that annoyed him a bit, but at least it didn’t hurt as much anymore. If he could just sit here for a while, on the floor, and just breathe, everything would be fine.

“I know, babe!” he said out loud.

“I didn’t mean to lose my temper like that, I just… got so jealous, sitting there, listening to your friends talking about how you… Well, let’s not go there again, shall we?”

“No, babe!” Jon said out loud. ‘Let’s not go there again… Please?’

“Let me see…”

Jon removed his hand, slowly, and Harley actually whistled.

“Wow, look at that! Does it hurt?”

‘Only when I laugh!’ Jon thought to himself, somewhat bitter.

“No, it’s fine!” He said out loud.

“Well, how about that? I have a right mean left hook! I should be a movie star! Or a super hero! I could punch the bad guys with a single blow! That would be so cool, wouldn’t it?”

Jon couldn’t stop staring at him.

“Yeah, it would!” he said out loud. He gave a smile. He was getting really good at fake smiling by now. He had been doing it for over a year and no one could tell the difference. Because no one didn’t think to look for a difference. So he smiled, he laughed, he held up his mask like any professional actor… And they all bought it! Even Harley! He could smile at his husband, give him the biggest 1000 watt smile in the world, and be plotting the man’s murder in his mind, and Harley would just smile back.

Like he did right now, reaching out a hand towards Jon to help him up.

“Come on, up you go, dinner’s not done yet, is it?”

‘Well, it was *almost* done when you started waving your fists left and right, asshole!’ Jon thought. It was easy to talk back when it was in his own head.

“Almost done, I just need to add a few more things!” he said out loud, still smiling.

“Ok, but nothing too spicy! You know I don’t like that!”

A slight tremor went down Jon’s spine. ‘Yes, thank you’, he thought to himself, ‘I remember what happened last time I gave you food you thought were too spicy!’ He felt sick just thinking about it.

“I know, babe, I’ll make sure it’s not too spicy, I promise!”

“Ok! Hey, let’s eat in the living room, in front of the TV, how’s that sound?”

‘I know who will have to clean it up later!’ Jon thought. 'Whatever happened to sitting at the dinner table?’

“Sounds great!” he said… and sighed.

“You don’t sound all that enthusiastic about it? What, you don’t think it’s a good idea?”

‘Oh, shit!’ He started to sweat; his heart went back to beating faster again. Just when he was starting to calm down. Just when he thought he was safe… What was he thinking?!

“Of course I do, babe, I just said that it sounded like a great idea, didn’t I?”

Was his voice shaking? No, he had gotten pretty good at masking his voice, it didn’t shake! He’d had eighteen months of practice, his voice did not shake!

“Yeah, but you didn’t mean it! You lying to me now, is that it?”

And there was the look again. For two and a half seconds, Jon’s heart stopped beating!

‘Oh, god! Oh, god, no, please, not that…’

“Harley, I swear to you, I wasn’t lying! Just go sit down, and relax, and I will set the table, ok?”

“You’re telling me what to do now?”

The hand came from nowhere, holding his arm in a steel grip, and that… look was burning into him, tearing holes in his already fractured soul. He wasn’t safe! He would never be safe!

“Don’t you dare disrespect me, not after what I had to witness tonight!”

‘No, no, no, no, no, please, god, no…’

“I would never disrespect you, baby, never! It’s a great idea to eat in front of the TV, it will be cozy. It’s perfect!”

‘Breathe’ he thought, desperately, ‘just breathe, just breathe, in and out, in and out… Don’t let him see you cry, do NOT let him see you cry, don’t you EVER let him see you weak, just breathe, in and out, in… and out…’

And then, Harley let go of his arm, as if throwing away something distasteful.

“Just go fix dinner! Fucking useless piece of shit!”

Jon waited until he was alone, before he started hyperventilating. ‘Just breathe, Jon, just breathe, just walk into the kitchen and finish making dinner!’ He kept on repeating his mantra as he went into the kitchen, walked over to the stove and looked down at the stew he was making. ‘It will be fine’, a familiar voice said in his mind, soothing him, like it always did, ‘it will be better, Jonny, everything will be alright, just breathe. Always, always just remember to breathe!’ He swallowed hard, as the calming voice of his best friend helped slow down his beating heart. Remember to breathe! Yeah, good advice! Remember to breathe!

But lately, it was getting harder and harder to do that!

* * *

When Jon met Harley two years ago, and fell helplessly in love, it seemed like the sun was finally starting to shine in his direction. After spending the better part of his life being in love with his best friend, who was quite possibly the straightest man in the universe, he had all but given up on the idea of someday standing in front of the altar with the one he loved.

His friends and family had tried, and failed, many times to fix him up with someone. His younger brothers, Jordan and David, had been busy trying to find the perfect boyfriend for him ever since high school, but every blind date had ended in disaster. It wasn't really all Jon's fault, though. Every guy he met just seem to have some kind of problem that was just too big to ignore. The truth of the matter was something that he would never tell anyone. Because to Jon Knight, no man could ever live up to the perfection that was his best friend. Donnie Wahlberg was the most gorgeous guy that any gay man would kill for. The typical bad boy, with a body that defied the laws of nature. He was, quite simply, the Perfect Guy! He and Jon had been best friends since the first day they met. And Jon had been in love with him basically his whole life. Who could possibly compete with that?

And then Harley had shown up one day, out of the blue, and turned out to be exactly that, and so much more. Gorgeous, funny, intelligent with the body of a Greek god, and Jon couldn’t even believe that the guy was for real. He even owned a gym! Slim Gym! How perfect was that? The fact that this incredible human being actually was interested in him was inconceivable.

When they announced their engagement, after just two months of dating, it actually took a few seconds for people to realize that they were serious. And then, there had been one hell of a celebration. Jordan had taken it upon himself to tell Harley every embarrassing story he could possibly remember about his big brother, alternating between telling Harley what a lucky man he was and threatening to break his bones if he ever betrayed Jon in any way. Joey had been bouncing around, like some hyped up kid instead of a grown man, already planning something mischievous for the bachelor party and when you’re best friends with a porn star like Joey Anaconda, you knew you were in for some crazy shit. Donnie, being Donnie, had wailed and said that Jon was breaking his heart and two seconds later been wrapped around both Jon and Harley, telling them where to go on their honeymoon.

And Jon had absolutely not been thinking about Donnie that night! And most definitely not on his wedding night! It just wasn’t all that easy to forget about him. He had been in love with Donnie since he was twelve. And Donnie had known about it since they were twenty. Jon had told him, one night, when they had been out watching a movie, just the two of them, and the weight of his heart was simply too great. It was right after Donnie and Danny had been accepted into the Police Academy. Jon wanted Donnie to know that no matter what, there would always be one person who loved him and worried about him. Donnie had hugged him, so hard, and said “Thank you! Thank you, for telling me!” and that was it. They both knew that nothing would happen, since Donnie was known for his many, many… many girlfriends (“It’s the uniform, Jonny! Chicks love a man in uniform!”), and Jon accepted that. Donnie cranked up the level of affections, though, somehow always touching Jon or looking at him a few seconds too long, flirting with him, until Jon simply got used to it. There wasn’t much else he could do, but accept it! And Donnie had been the wonderful man, and incredible friend that he was, and never said a word about it to anyone, keeping Jon’s secret to himself.

\-------------------------------- 

In truth, the first six months of Jon’s marriage to Harley had been pure bliss. The man was kind, funny, a fantastic lover and had an open and honest personality. He owned a gym, and had the body that came with it, and always seemed to know just what to say and when to say it, to make Jon’s mood brighter.

And Jon actually stopped thinking about Donnie… For a while!

It wasn’t like he had forgotten about the man altogether, they were best friends after all, and they saw each other almost every day. They hung out together, the way they always did, him and Donnie, Joey, Jordan, and Danny. They had known each other since they were kids, it wasn't like they were ever gonna stop. He just… stopped thinking about him in a sexual manner. The occasional fantasy didn’t count. Hell, he had eyes, right? And Donnie was still the sexiest man he had ever seen. It wasn’t like anything was ever going to happen between them. Donnie was straight and Jon was happily married, and not the kind of guy who would keep a secret lover. He loved his husband!

And then… things started to happen! It wasn’t even noticeable at first, just tiny little details that weren’t even worth mentioning. And it seemed like Jon was the only one seeing these tiny little changes is Harley’s behavior, so he decided that it must be his overactive imagination and chose not to say anything about it. It wasn’t really all that bad, either, just a harsh word here or there, a frustrated sigh if something wasn’t done quick enough, and Jon had woken up in the middle of the night once or twice to find Harley wide awake, reading a book or sitting in front of his laptop. When asked, Harley simply said that he couldn’t sleep and that it was nothing for Jon to worry about.

The first time things got violent, it was Harley who broke down in tears. He stared at his hand, then at Jon’s face, shaking all over, tears running down his face, saying over and over again:

“Oh, god… Oh, my god, what have I done… Oh, my god, Jon, I hit you, I hit my own husband, what the hell kind of man am I?”

They had ended up in bed, somehow, and Harley kept on saying “I’m sorry” and “I love you” and “Forgive me” as they made love. It was a one-time thing and nothing to worry about. It hadn’t even hurt all that much!

The second time was really Jon’s fault. He had seen that Harley had been provoked by the waiter at the restaurant and made the stupid mistake of commenting on it when they came home. Harley hit him in the face so hard it almost knocked him off his feet. There were more tears, and more pleads for forgiveness, but not as frantic as the first time. And really, Jon had only himself to blame for bringing it up.

The third time, Harley shoved him into a wall, telling him to get the fuck away from him. That was after the movie they had seen and they had somehow ended up having a heated argument that got out of hand. There were no tears this time, but he did say that he was sorry, and that seemed to be the end of it.

Jon stopped counting after a while, as it got more and more frequent. Sometimes he wondered why no one else seemed to notice, why his friends and loved ones didn’t react. And then he realized that it was because he didn’t want them to notice! He didn’t want them to react. He didn’t want them to know!

Soon, he got rather talented when it came to putting on a brave face. He went out with his friends, he had dinner with his mother, he babysat for his sister, Sharon, he chatted with Donnie on Skype regularly about this and that and everything else… except that one tiny piece of information. Oh, everything was fine at home, they were planning a trip to Greece, going to India, they tried some really bad Chinese food, they watched movies and everything was so perfect. Sometimes, he wondered if maybe, he was laying it on a little thick, but nobody seemed to notice.

And so, life went on.

* * *

The first time he was knocked unconscious was the time they went to Donnie’s birthday party. It started out great, everybody was having a great time, there was cake, made by Emily or Rosie or whatever Donnie’s girl of the week was called, and drinks, and music playing in the background.

“What the hell kind of music is this? Do people actually listen to this crap?” Jordan had complained.

“If you happen to be a twelve year old girl… Yeah!” Danny had given Jordan his trademark grin, the one that went from ear to ear.

Jordan had wrinkled his nose in disgust and shook his head.

“You know what? I would bet a thousand bucks that I could sing better than that guy!”

“You?” Jon had laughed at his brother, and put down his now empty glass. “Jordan, please, you could never reach those high notes!”

Jordan simply stuck out his tongue at his brother.

“Alright, Jonny”, Donnie had suddenly said, “how much longer are you gonna keep me waiting? You know what I want!”

“I’m not gonna do it!” Jon said, with a tiny smile on his lips.

“Sure you are! It’s my birthday!”

“Do what?” Harley asked, looking somewhat suspicious, but Jon simply shook his head at him.

“Nothing! It’s not gonna happen!”

“You always say that”, Danny pointed out, “and you always end up doing it anyway! Come on, Jon, you know he’s not gonna shut up until you do it!”

“Guys, I don’t sing anymore, you know that! I’m sorry!”

Donnie had moved in a little closer, taken Jon’s hand in his and looked him right in the eye, pleading with him in a voice that would make a fortune in the phone-sex industry:

“Jon… sing ‘Happy birthday’ to me! Please?

Jon saw the confused wrinkle in Harley’s forehead, since they had all been singing Happy Birthday to Donnie just a few hours ago. But Jon had his own version that he wrote when he was fifteen. He wasn’t all that keen on singing, but he could easily be persuaded on special occasions, such as Donnie’s birthday. So he took a deep breath, and kept his eyes locked with Donnie as he sang. It was so easy to drown in them, just lose himself in the depth of those eyes that held the answer to every question Jon could ever think to ask.

The guys both applauded and whistled when he was done.

“So beautiful!”

“I take it back! My brother could sing better than that guy!”

“That’s not the Happy Birthday I know!” Rosie, or Pam or whatever her name was, said.

Donnie simply smiled at Jon, his eyes sparkling.

“Thank you, Jon! That was the only thing I wanted for today!”

There was something in those eyes that made Jon feel a little weird inside, something that wasn’t supposed to be in Donnie’s eyes, but before he could overthink it, Harley interrupted their moment.

“I didn’t know you could sing?”

Jon turned towards his husband and shrugged. Nothing to tell. He didn’t sing! Unless it was a special occasion!

“That’s because I don’t! Not anymore!”

“He was in the school choir!” Danny stage-whispered.

“Gee, thanks, Dan!”

“What’s the big deal, bro? You did!”

“So did you!” Jon pointed out.

“I was there to meet girls, Jon, what was your excuse?”

“Screw you, Jordan!”

“The only reason he joined that choir in the first place”, Jordan said, leaning in close to Harley, as if telling him some big secret, “was because he had a crush on the teacher!”

“I did not have a crush on Mr Petersen!”

“Oh, you so did, Jon! ‘Good morning, Mr Petersen!’ ‘I finished the assignment, Mr Petersen!’

“ ‘I love your new hairstyle, Mr Petersen!’ ‘Is it ok if I stay and help you with your instruments, Mr Petersen?’ “

“I hate you all!” His face was flushed and he gave them his best and biggest pout, but they all knew that he was laughing right along with them on the inside.

“Jon, you walked up to the man and asked if you could blow his horn!”

Jon turned even redder.

“I swear to God, I’m never speaking to either one of you again! And I seem to remember Donnie being obsessed with Ms Langtry, the school librarian… In fact, I actually happen to know that he…”

“You promised!” Donnie gasped, the others suddenly eerily silent. Jon gave Donnie a wicked smile.

“Fine… You stop pestering me about Mr Petersen and I’ll keep quiet about the love poems you wrote to Ms Langtry!”

Which, of course, sent the others howling with laughter.

“Jon!” It was Donnie’s turn to turn red.

“Sorry, D, but if I’m going down, I’m taking everybody with me!”

And that, for some reason, made Donnie laugh out loud and throw his arm around Jon, pulling him in for a bear-hug.

“Fuck, I love you, Jon! I fucking love you!”

Jon just laughed and gave his best friend a kiss on the cheek.

“Sorry, you had your chance!”

“Damn it!”

“Children, please!” Molly, or Erin or whatever she was called, said with a grin, before it got really out of hand.

“Hey”, Danny suddenly said, bringing them all back down to earth for a while, “did you guys hear about those kids that vandalized the playground? They got two years each!”

“Seriously?”

“Jesus, the justice system in this country…”

And that, very effectively, put an end to that particular conversation. At least, that’s what they all thought. Jon had a sneaking suspicion that there would be repercussions later, probably as soon as they got home, but he was drunk and he was having fun with his friends and he had gotten a secret thrill from singing to Donnie, so he didn’t really care about what Harley thought about him.

He had been right, though! Of course! It was not like Harley was going to waste such a golden opportunity to fuck him over somehow. Lately, it seemed like he was actually looking for an excuse to hit him, trying to find faults in everything, or just spent the day waiting for Jon to slip up somehow, just so that he would have a reason to beat him black and blue.

As soon as they got home, the insults started. How dare Jon make a fool of him by not letting him know that he could sing? How dare he not mention something like that to his own husband?

“I had to sit there like a fucking idiot while your so-called pals were laughing at me!”

“They weren’t laughing at you, baby, we were having a good time, we were just…”

“And talking about you like you were some slut, bending over for the teacher... Is that what you did, Jon? Did you bend over for that Mr Peterson like some cheap whore?”

Jon knew from experience that after the insults came the fists. But this time, and he would later blame it on being too drunk to know what he was doing, he just laughed at Harley.

“Oh, for fuck sake, Harley, would you relax?”

“Excuse me?!”

“You’re drunk and you’re overreacting! How about not seeing everything in black or white for once?”

After that, things got kinda blurry. He did remember tasting blood in his mouth and he distinctly remembered hearing the humming of the radiator, but mostly, it was just black. And the black felt soothing, there was no pain in the blackness, so he decided to stay there for a little while. Just for a little while!

He called in sick the next day, telling his boss that it was something he ate, and kept the light off in the bathroom to avoid looking at himself in the mirror.

* * *

The night where everything changed, they had been out to dinner with Danny and his wife Sally and Donnie and his latest girlfriend, Jenny. It was about a month or so after Donnie’s birthday, and when Harley suggested that they should go out and have some fun with their friends, Jon eagerly accepted, since he hadn’t seen either one of his ´posse´ for quite some time. Jordan had to stay home, though, and Joe was busy working on another movie. They all decided that coffee would be had at Donnie’s, and they all went back to Donnie’s apartment for coffee and drinks. As usual, with too much alcohol in his system, Jon tended to get a bit… naughty and overly affectionate. And, as usual, when Donnie had too much to drink, he got touchy-feely.

Somehow, probably at the giggling request of Ginny, or Janine, Jon and Donnie ended up slow-dancing, in the middle of the living room, Jon resting his head comfortably on Donnie’s shoulder blade, Donnie running his hands through Jon’s hair and down his back…just like they always did. They had been closer than brothers since they were kids, nothing could break that bond between them. It might have looked extremely romantic to anyone who didn’t know them. It might even look as if they were lost in a world of their very own as they looked at each other and Donnie kissed Jon’s forehead, saying how much he had missed him, but it was just a dance. It was just a dance between friends…

Which was exactly what Jon tried to tell Harley, after they got home and Harley had slammed his fist in Jon’s stomach, calling him a cheating whore.

“It was just a dance, Harley, I swear… Please… I would never cheat on you, you know that!”

“Do I? Really? You fucking whore, you have no idea what I know about you and that fucking home wrecker!”

“Harley, listen to yourself! Donnie is straight, you know that!”

“I SAW YOU!”

“Saw what? Baby, please, you’re not making any sense! I have never been unfaithful to you! Never! I promise!”

“The gazebo! Our rehearsal dinner! You… and him… Any of this rings a bell?”

“What are you…”

And then, he remembered! Of course he remembered, how could he ever forget? The gazebo! The rehearsal dinner! Him and Donnie… “Please, Jonny… Don’t stop…” Oh, shit!

“Oh, god!”

“Yeah, I seem to remember hearing you say that! You weren’t with your mother, so I went out looking for you… and I saw you… in the gazebo… with him… You were all over each other! Tell me, it sounded like he was saying your name when he shot his load in your mouth, but I was too far away to tell for certain, so did he? Did he say your name?!”

“Harley…

“You wanna be treated like some cheap whore? I’ll treat you like a cheap whore!”

When Harley was done with him, he left the house and stayed out all night! Jon stayed on the floor for an hour or so, desperately trying to remember how to breathe, hoping and praying that he would be able to go to work in the morning and then crawled into bed, alone, telling himself over and over not to cry and then promptly cried himself to sleep.

Harley didn’t come back until late afternoon the next day! He asked Jon what was for dinner and started telling him about the day he’d had at the gym before jumping in the shower. At dinner, he asked Jon how things were at work and then told him, very calmly, that if he found out that Jon was seeing Donnie behind his back, even if it was just to talk about the weather, he would kill them both! And then he got up, gave Jon a kiss on the cheek and went into the living room to watch the news.

Jon simply told people, over the phone instead of skyping, that he was gonna be really busy at work and wouldn’t have time to see anyone for a while. He promised, over and over, that he was fine and that everything was ok, and that they would get together as soon as possible and disconnected the call before anyone could hear his voice break.

And so, life went on!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

One day, when Jon was 9, he had been playing outside with his 18 months younger brother Jordan, when they suddenly saw a group of older boys pick on a scrawny little kid. The kid was lying on the ground and the older guys, four of them, were laughing at him and spitting on him. Jon didn’t even think twice before telling his brother to run back home and tell mom, while he took care of the bullies. Not five seconds later, two other kids showed up. They were running towards the group of boys, and when they were close enough, one of them swung his fist, sending one of the bullies stumbling backwards.

“Pick on someone your own size, butthole!” he said, loud and clear. Jon walked faster. He saw one of the bullies say something to the new kids, giving Jon a few more seconds, and just as the bullies were about to attack, Jon started running, and rammed right into one of the older boys.

“You little shit!” one of the bullies said, sneering, and Jon wondered if this had been a really stupid thing to do. He felt the other kids come up to stand beside him and the kid on the ground crawled away, sobbing and sniveling. And then, Jon was right in the middle of his very first fight.

The four bullies were big and mean, and Jon had never been in a fight before. He abhorred all forms of violence. If it was at all possible, he would always try and solve a situation by talking about it. He had a feeling that talking wouldn't do him any good in this case, though.

When it was over, the four bullies were running away, screaming about revenge, and Jon had a black eye and a bruise on his cheek. His hands hurt as well, and even though it had been the other two boys who did most of the punching, he still felt victorious. He looked over at the new kids. They looked about the same. Black eye and bruises, dirt in their hair, but the look in their eyes told Jon that they were feeling the rush too. They seemed to be about his age, the blonde one a few inches taller than the dark-haired one.

“God damn bullies!” The blonde one muttered, as the other one went over to the scrawny kid, who was sitting down on the pavement, legs drawn up to his cheek and hands over his ears, snot and tears all over his face. He couldn’t have been more than five or six. Jon followed, to make sure the kid was alright. They helped him up and brushed him off and, since Jon’s house was the closest, they took him there to clean him up.

“I’m Jon!” he said, when they were halfway there, suddenly remembering that he hadn’t even thought about asking what their names were.

“I’m Donnie!” the blonde guy said. “That’s Danny! Thanks for helping out!” He smiled at Jon and Jon smiled back.

“I’m Joey!” the little kid in Jon’s arms suddenly said, looking up at them with the bluest eyes either one of the boys had ever seen. Jon smiled at him as well. He had a feeling that he had just met some new friends.

As it turned out, Jordan knew little Joey, who was two years younger than him, from school, said he had seen him around, but never actually talked to him. As Jon and Jordan’s mom helped clean up Joey, Jordan and his little brother David watched the three older boys with obvious admiration. And most of it was directed at their big brother.

“You guys saved his life! You’re like actual superheroes!” Jordan yanked at his mother’s arm to get her attention. “Mom! Jon is a superhero!”

Jon felt a surge of pride at his brother’s words and knew, as he looked over at Donnie and Danny, that they felt the same. They were superheroes! Helping the weak and defending the young! Together, they would save their city from bullies and supervillains.

* * *

It was his next door neighbor, Mrs Kessler who found him, and that was only because she had been out walking the dog and the door to Jon and Harley’s house had been slightly ajar. Mrs Kessler wasn’t the nosy type, but she went over anyway, to make sure everything was alright. She had heard Harley’s car drive off about half an hour earlier and figured that maybe he just forgot to shut the front door properly before he left.  
She was still sobbing when the ambulance arrived twelve minutes later, too distraught to give any proper information.

* * *

The call came at 3.14 am on a Thursday. Jordan Knight was exhausted and really, really did not want to wake up. His wife groaned slightly when he didn’t answer right away and gave him a sleepy shove to wake him up.

“It’s yours!” she said, already falling back asleep. Jordan yawned and blinked a few times, before reaching for his cell at the bedside table. It wasn’t a number he recognized. Could it be one of his students? But why would they be calling him in the middle of the night? As an art teacher, he didn’t really have classes that would involve late night calls from his students. Suspicious, but curious, he answered the call.

“Jordan Knight?”

He had learned his lesson a long time ago. Before, he would answer with his last name, Knight, which would always cause his friends and loved ones to reply with something along the lines of: ‘Ok, night’, or ‘No, it’s morning’, or ‘Day’, or ‘Is your armor shiny?’ and so on and so forth, until Jordan simply stopped and started using his full name.

“Mr. Knight, this is Doctor Cartier from St Agnes hospital!”

And Jordan’s heart stopped beating.

* * *

“Alright, Benny, be honest, for once in your miserable life. What happened when you came home?”

The guy in question hadn’t had a shower for days, but to detectives Donnie Wahlberg and Danny Wood, it smelled like weeks. All they needed right now was a confession, it was the middle of the night and after working this guy’s pathetic ass for the past four hours, using every trick in the book, they knew he was about to crack. They always got their confession!

“I could hear him…. He was in the living room…. I know he hadn’t heard me, so I went into the kitchen and I picked up the knife…”

“Yes?” Donnie leaned in closer, breathing through his mouth to keep himself from inhaling too much of this guy’s body odor.

“You’re doing good, Benny, just keep going!” Danny encouraged, having assumed the role of the Good Cop this time.

There was a knock on the door, but they both ignored it. This was too important.

“Tell us the truth, Benny!”

“I killed him! Alright?! I stabbed the fucker right in the heart! And he fucking deserved it, too! He had to pay for what he did to Angie!”

Danny looked over at his partner. Another one for the books and another perp off the streets! Job well done! They nodded at each other, a barely noticeable nod that they had used since they were kids, that meant ‘Nice one, pal’ and ‘We make one hell of a team’.

“You need to write this down, Benny!” Danny said, as he got up from the chair. “We’re gonna get a pen and paper and you’re gonna write down exactly what you told us, ok? You did good!”

They both knew the guy was gonna fry for this.

Donnie went to open the door and let the detective in.

“Benny wants a pen and paper, Chris, he has some things he wants to write down for us. You think you can get that for him?”

“Sure! There’s a phone call for you or Dan! Some guy named Jordan! Said it was urgent!”

Danny stayed with Benny, and Donnie went to answer the phone by his desk.

“What’s up, J?”

“Why the hell do you have your cellphone off, you asshole, I’ve been calling forever!”

“Woah, woah, slow down, you know the rules, we’re working… Why, what’s going on?”

“Donnie… I need you to stay calm, ok?! I want you to stay calm, get Danny and come meet me at St Agnes hospital as fast as you can!”

Donnie wrinkled his forehead a bit; he did not like the sound of that.

“What’s going on, J?”

“It’s Jon!”

* * *

The brunette was screaming in ecstasy as the blond girl rammed the big black dildo inside her. The dark haired man behind her was pushing his monster of a dick in her ass, and the stench of sweat and sex was heavy in the room. Everyone was going at it like animals… until a cell phone started ringing close by.

“CUT!”

Everyone stopped and started looking around for the villain.

“Who’s fucking phone is fucking interrupting my fucking scene?!” the director yelled, giving each and every one of the crew his very own version of the evil eye. Joey, recognizing the tune, swiftly pulled out of the brunette’s ass and started looking for his cell, found it and answered, mouthing the word *sorry* to the director as he wiped the sweat from his face.

“Yo?!

“Joey, it’s me!”

“J, this is a bad time, I’m in the middle of a scene!”

“I need you to get your ass over to St Agnes hospital, Joe, as quick as you can!”

“Why? What’s happened?”

“It’s Jon!”

* * *

Jordan could care less about the speed-limit, and thankfully, there was no one around to see his reckless driving. When he got to the hospital, the doctor told him about Jon’s situation, that he was alive, but in critical condition. A kind nurse showed him to the waiting room and he barely had time to sit down, before they all showed up, walking towards him. The only people he would either take a bullet for, or donate a kidney to. His best friends! His superheroes!

Donnie and Danny, coming straight from work, were still wearing their work clothes, but Joey had nothing but a pair of sweat-pants and a shirt, the only things he could find on such short notice that didn’t scream: ‘I’m a pornstar!’

“What’s going on?” Danny asked as they embraced, and Jordan told them what the doctor had told him. Jon had been beaten up. Badly! He was still in ICU! He had broken ribs, a black eye and a broken nose, a nasty bump on the head and two fingers on his left hand were broken. The doc had said something about internal bleeding too, but Jordan was afraid to say those words out loud.

Joe sank down on one of the chairs, looking like a lost child instead of a grown 32 year old, his impossibly wide eyes staring incomprehensively at his hands, as if they could provide him with some answers.

“Oh, my god!” Danny sat down next to Joe, looking just as shocked as him, and Jordan nodded, his eyes burning. “What happened? Where was he?”

“I don’t know! They are still treating him! He was at home…”

“Someone broke into his house?”

“I don’t KNOW, Dan, ok?”

Donnie wasn’t moving. In fact, he hadn’t said a word since he arrived.

“Did they call Harley?”

“Yeah… Yeah, he was at the gym! He’s on his way!”

“What the hell was he doing at work in the middle of the night?”

“I don’t know, Dan, why don’t you ask him?!”

“I want to see him!” Donnie suddenly muttered, all set on walking straight into the operating room, and probably gun down anyone who was standing in his way.

“He’s still in ICU, Don”, Jordan said, in a tired voice, “there’s nothing we can do, but wait!”

Donnie turned around, fuming.

“Wait? You expect me to WAIT?!”

“Lower your voice, Donnie, please!” Joe said, looking around. Having Jon’s best friend freak out was probably not what the people in this hospital needed right now.

“Calm down, Donnie, you’re not helping!” Danny said harshly. The voice of his partner finally penetrated Donnie’s brain and it was like all the air left him. Like a deflated balloon, he sank down on a couch, struggling for breath.

For a while, no one said a word. Jordan was still debating on whether or not he should call his mother, when Harley showed up. Danny had to physically restrain Donnie, who demanded to know what the hell Harley was doing at work that could be more important that staying at home with his husband. Jordan started explaining the situation to Harley while Danny calmed down his friend and then, it was more waiting, for what felt like hours, before the doctor came back.

“Mr Knight?”

“Yes? Is my brother…?”

“The surgery was a success! However, until he wakes up, there is no way of telling for sure if he has sustained any permanent brain damage due to the head injury…”

“Head injury?!” repeated Donnie, as if the words were somehow foreign to him. He looked at Jordan, almost accusingly. “I thought you said he had a bump on his head?”

Jordan took a deep breath.

“The burglar…”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t know you were a cop, Jordan! You know for a fact that it was burglary?”

“Donnie, I really don’t have time for this, my brother is in hospital! If you wanna go bash some heads in, fine, go do that, but stop acting like a fucking crazy person!”

“Doctor… Is my husband going to wake up? Can I see him?”

“When he is moved to Recovery, you will all be able to visit.”

Donnie muttered to himself, but didn’t say anything else.

There really wasn’t much that either one of them could do. As the sun rose, Jordan called his wife, then his mother, and then his brother and sister, and told them what had happened. Danny and Donnie knew that Jon would want them to go back to work and stop worrying about him, so they did exactly that. However, they both remained by their desks all day, finishing up paperwork, their minds not really on the job. Joe called in sick and told the director that he had a family member who was in the hospital. Being the star of the movie helped, the director told him to be with his family and come back whenever he felt like it.

The hours seemed like days, and the sun was on her way down again, before Jordan finally called his friends and told them that Jon had been moved to Recovery and was allowed visitors. He was still out of it, but the doctor said that they could stay with him a little while.

In the recovery-room, Jon was lying in a bed, looking like something from a really bad horror movie. His face was both black and blue, his hand was wrapped in bandages and the only signs that he was actually alive, was the constant beep… beep… beep from the machine and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

Harley sat quiet by Jon’s side, not taking his eyes off him. Donnie muttered to himself about keeping his priorities straight, just loud enough for Harley to hear, and finally had to be hushed by both Jordan and Danny.

They all stayed with Jon for as long as possible, firmly ignoring the nurses who mentioned visiting hours being over and the possibility of coming back the next day. Danny and Donnie simply flashed their badges and told them to take it up with the proper authorities if they had a problem. Eventually, though, even the doctor told them that they had to leave, and that Jon had to rest.

“There’s nothing more we can do for him right now. He has to want to come back! We can’t detect any permanent brain damage, so what we are waiting for now, is for him to wake up!”

“So we just… wait?” Jordan looked over at his sleeping brother, his heart aching.

“You should go home, Mr Knight, get some rest! If there is any change in your brother’s condition, we will contact you!”

“The doc’s right, Jordan”, Joe said, stretching out his hand towards Jordan to pull his attention away from the hospital bed, “you should go home! I know for a fact that you haven’t slept for two days and quite frankly… you need a shower!”

“I can’t just leave him here like this, what if…”

“You don’t have to worry, Jordan, I’ll be here all night!” Harley promised, and while that was reassuring, Jordan still felt a bit anxious about leaving.

“I’ll stay with him, J!” Donnie said in a hushed voice, earning him a tremendously grateful look from the other man. “Now go home!”

Jordan gave him a quick hug.

“Thank you!” he said, his red-shot eyes misty. Donnie nodded and said nothing. If Harley thought anything about Donnie staying, he didn’t say. He gave Donnie a quick nod as he got up from the chair.

“I just have to make a quick call to work. I’ll be right back!”

Donnie was about to say something really nasty about first promising to stay, and then run off to work, but decided not to. This wasn’t the time, nor the place.

Joe walked up to Jordan, putting his arm over his friend’s shoulders.

“Come on, J, I’ll take you home! You’re in no shape to drive right now! –Night, Don!”

“See ya, Joe!” Donnie waited until the others had disappeared into the elevator before turning around, intent on going back to Jon, but the doctor stopped him.

“Now, Mr Wahlberg, I know that you want to spend some time with your friend. But we do have strict rules here about…”

“Listen, doc”, Donnie said, flashing his badge for what felt like the seventeenth time in the past hour, when in truth it was only the third, “right now, that man in there is more than just a friend, he’s a victim of a crime and until we catch the guy who did this to him, his life might be in extreme danger. The perpetrator might want to finish what he started, to make sure he won’t get caught. Mr Knight needs 24 hour protection, and that’s the end of it! Do we understand each other?”

Dr Cartier sighed, but simply said:

“Of course, detective!”

“Thank you!”

He left the room and Donnie was alone with Jon.


	3. Chapter 3

“You know, Jonny”, Donnie said as he sat down on the chair next to the hospital bed, “if you wanna hook up with a doctor, there are easier ways. My brother is dating this nurse, I’m sure she could fix you up with someone.”

No response! Usually, that beeping sound would get on his nerves, it always made him uncomfortable, but right now, it was the sweetest sound in the world, because that slow, steady beep meant a slow, steady heart and that meant that Jon was ok! He was alive!

Donnie swallowed hard. There was a huge lump in his throat that made it difficult to breathe and his vision was getting blurry as he stared at the bruised face resting comfortably on the pillow. Even now, with tubes in his mouth, machines helping him breathe, looking like something out of a horror movie, the man in the hospital bed was still the loveliest, most amazing human being that Donnie had ever known, both inside and out.

“I’ll kill him, Jon!” he suddenly said, vehemently, taking Jon’s good hand in both of his and squeezed it tight. “I swear to you, I will find the one who did this and I will kill him!”

He could almost hear Jon objecting, saying things like: ‘You’re a cop, Donnie, you’re supposed to uphold the law, not break it’ or ‘If you do that, they will throw your ass in jail and I will never see you again’ or ‘Why would you do something like that, Donnie, I’m not worth throwing your life away!’ But to Donnie, Jon *was* worth it! For him, Donnie would do that, and so much more, whatever he could, whatever was in his power… He would kill, to protect his friend.

His chest hurt. He couldn’t stop thinking how close he came to never seeing Jon laugh again, never hear him speak again, how close he came to losing the one person in the world that meant more to him than his own life.

“You need to wake up now, Jonny, you’ve got a lot of people worrying about you. Your family, your friends… me… Not that I’m all that worried, I know you’re gonna come out of this in no time at all, but your brothers and sisters, man… your mom… They almost lost you and… and…”

He had to take a deep, shuddering breath to be able to continue, no longer caring about the tears that ran down his face.

“I almost lost you and I really don’t know what I would do… without you! But I can tell you that it would not be pretty, so just… open your eyes and be ok, so that I don’t have to find out, ok? Right now, would be good!”

Nothing happened. The hand he held was limp and lifeless and the lump in his throat threatened to overpower him.

“Jesus, Jon, don’t leave me, please… I love you, I love you so fucking much and you… you don’t even… Just… come back to me, Jonny, ok? Come back to me! I’m fucking lost without you, you know that!”

Someone cleared their throat close by and Donnie turned around to find Danny standing in the doorway.

“Don…”

“Hey!” Donnie wiped the tears away with his sleeve, but didn’t let go of Jon’s hand. “I thought you were going home with the others?” He didn’t ask how long Danny had stood there, or how much he had heard or seen. Danny had seen him in worse shapes than this, they had no secrets from each other.

“Reema came to pick up J and Joey went with them! I’m on my way too, I just wanted to say goodnight to him before I left. Any change?”

“Nothing!”

“We will catch him, Donnie! I promise!”

“I just need five minutes alone with him, that’s all! Just five minutes, and I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else!”

“Careful, man! I know you’re upset, but don’t say or do anything that you will regret!”

“Regret? Regret?! Look at that! LOOK at him! I will kill him, Danny, *that’s* a fucking promise!”

“Look, I love Jon, just as much as you do, but…”

“No, you don’t!”

“Of course I do! I’m just saying that what you’re talking about doing right now, is against the law. Our job is to uphold the law, Don, not break it! Yeah, I want the guy to suffer and he will! But you have to stop thinking like that! Ending up in jail on a murder charge isn’t going to help Jonny, and you know that!”

Donnie didn’t reply, he turned his eyes away from Danny and back to Jon. Danny walked closer to his friend, placing his hand on Donnie’s shoulder.

“Can you at least promise me that you won’t do anything stupid?”

“I can’t promise that, Dan! That son of a bitch almost killed someone we love. And you expect me to just… what, sit back and watch?”

“If you want to keep your job, yeah!”

“Who’s on the case?”

“Mitchell and Thompson!”

Donnie snorted in disgust.

“Fucking rookie amateurs! Did they talk to anyone yet?”

“I don’t know… I don’t think so! Why?”

“Why do you think?” Donnie didn’t even look up, he knew that Danny would understand anyway. It was one of the perks of working so close with someone you considered your oldest friend. And, true enough, Danny’s hand on his shoulder tightened considerably.

“Donnie, remember that thing I was saying about not doing anything stupid? You’re a walking time-bomb right now, and you need to cool off, because it’s not doing anyone any good! I know how much you love Jon, but this isn’t the way to…”

“You have no idea how much I love him!”

“Yes, I do, Don, I’m not blind! Hell, I’ve known for years, we all have!” He gave Donnie a few seconds to digest this fact, and then went on. It was probably a lousy time, but it needed to be done. “Look, man, you’ve got one hell of a poker face, I’ll give you that, and that’s great when we’re on the job, but you are easier to read than a children’s book when it comes to Jon, especially for someone who’s known you your entire life. The way you look at him, when you think no one is watching… The expression on his face when you touch him… You love each other! You love him the way he loves you and everyone can see it! Not to mention the fact that you absolutely hate Harley and will do anything, really go out of your way, to make him jealous!”

“You don…”

“Why do you think everyone was so surprised when Jon told us they were getting married?”

“Because they had only been…”

“Because no one thought they would last more than a month! Because we all thought that if anyone was gonna make an honest man out of our Jonny, it would be you, just as soon as you woke up and realized that all these weekly girlfriends of yours… That’s just your way of saying that you’re afraid of coming out and tell Jon how you really feel about him…”

“I’m not afraid of anything, dude!”

“…Because you think that if he finds out that you’ve fallen in love with him, he will be furious with you for not telling him sooner and that it’s too late now, because he married someone else!”

“You think you’re so fucking clever, don’t you?”

“I’ve always been clever, dumbass! Are you gonna tell me that I’m wrong?”

Donnie didn’t say anything. His silence was a good enough answer for Danny, though.

“Look, Mitchell and Thompson will probably want to talk to us too, any information they have, we will know! We will get him, Donnie, and he will pay for what he’s done! But please… Don’t do anything stupid! And if you do, at least call me first, ok? So that I can talk you out of it?”

Donnie managed to smile at that one and he nodded, getting up from the chair to wrap his arms around his friend in a tight hug.

“Thanks, Dan!”

Danny gave him his typical trademark grin, the one that seemed to stretch from ear to ear.

“Anytime, partner!” He walked past Donnie to lean down and give Jon a kiss on the forehead. Then he whispered something in Jon’s ear, too soft for Donnie to hear, and left the room. Donnie sat back down on the chair, took Jon’s hand again and held it to his cheek.

“He thinks he’s so fucking clever!” he said in a low voice. “They all think they know everything about us! They have no idea, do they, Jonny? They don’t know the half of it! You and me… What we have… It’s too big for them to comprehend.”

Danny thought he loved Jon! He was wrong! What Donnie felt went so much deeper than that! There was no way either one of those guys would ever understand the profound bond between him and Jonathan. Sometimes, even Donnie didn’t understand it. It went beyond friendship or love, it was as if they had known and loved each other for a thousand years. Donnie was a firm believer in reincarnation, (even though his friends had said it was nothing but dreams and fantasies, hopeless excuses for things that could not be explained), and he knew for a fact that he and Jon had been together before. Not just in another life, but in several. Friends, brothers, soldiers… hell, even singers in a boyband… but always lovers! Their lives were entwined, that’s what she had said.

He hadn’t told anyone about what had happened at the renaissance fair. Not even Jon! When Jordan had asked after Donnie came out from the perfumed tent, he had said that the fortune-teller had promised him gold and lots of lovely ladies. He never spoke a word about what she had actually seen. He hadn’t told anyone about what she had said! But he knew the truth now and that was enough for him. They were soulmates, him and Jon! Always had been! Connected, like… what had she called it?... Like strings in a tapestry, always able to find each other, separated, but forever connected, moving in a pattern of their own… or something like that!

Which was why this was so hard for him to comprehend. Something like this wasn’t supposed to happen! Not to Jon! Jon was the peace-keeper, the one who was everybody's friend. The big brother of their little group. It had always been that way! Jon was the big brother with the big heart and Donnie was the bad boy with a heart of gold. Just like Danny was the health nut with muscles and tattoos hiding under the cop uniform, Jordan was the charmer and Joey was the baby with his big blue eyes and his ability to treat everything in life as a game… it just worked, it always had. The five of them, they completed each other! On their own, they functioned just fine! Together, they flowed!

And now Jon was in a hospital bed! Sweet, innocent Jonathan, fighting for his life! Donnie was a cop, he was a damn fine cop, there weren’t a lot of things that could scare him, but right now, he was more scared then he had ever been in his life. Because he might never again see Jon’s green eyes shine, the way he did when he was happy or when he told one of his infamous dirty jokes. Jon might never again be able to run his hand through that thick, black hair of his, which Danny was so jealous of. He would never sing again!

No! Unacceptable! Jon would pull through, of course he would! He would come back to Donnie, because Donnie refused to believe anything else. Jon belonged with him! It was as simple as that! He might be married to Harley, but his soul belonged to Donnie.

He took a deep breath and looked around to make sure that no one was around.

“The doc said we should play your favorite music or something… I guess it’s supposed to be soothing or whatever, but… If I’m right… And if you ever tell your brother about this, I will kick your ass from here to Sunday, but… If I’m right, then what you need is… this…”

And then he sang. He wasn’t a very talented singer, and he was very well aware of that, but he did it anyway. There was one song in particular that Jon loved, for some reason unknown to most. He had loved it for years, so his friends had all been rather confused when he didn’t want them playing it on his wedding. But Donnie knew the reason, and that’s why he sang it now.

“We may be strangers… We may be worlds apart sometimes… And it's hard to accept… the things we just don't understand… So blind to each other… We only see one side of nowhere… Some things we may never know… If there's one thing you should ever know…”

He looked over at Jon. No reaction. He hadn’t realized just how hard this would be, but he took another deep breath and kept on singing, not even noticing that the door opened and someone came in.

“Soul of my soul, heart of my heart… The greatest treasure of my life, that's what you are… Soul of my soul, child of my heart… I love you…”

He had to stop for a brief moment. The lump in his throat made it hard to sing, and Jon was not even moving and suddenly, the tears were a steady stream down his cheeks.

“I love you… more than you know… soul of my soul…”

Wiping away his tears, he tried to laugh it off a bit.

“I never was much of a singer, was I, Jonny? Not like you! But I’ll tell you what! As soon as you’re up and about, we’ll go out, somewhere fancy, and I’ll have them play that song for you, how’s that? Would you like that? We haven’t been out clubbing in a while, we could do that!”

No response. Jon was still out of it. Donnie sighed.

“How is he?”

Donnie turned around, startled, as Harley came in. He looked just as bad as Jordan, from worry and lack of sleep, and Donnie figured that he really should feel some form of sympathy for the man. It was Harley’s husband lying in that hospital bed, after all, even though Donnie knew that he would never own all of Jon’s heart. And he did feel some form of sympathy, he really did, it was just that… Donnie didn’t like Harley. He had never liked Harley! And it wasn’t just because Donnie knew for a fact that Jon belonged with him and no one else, although that was a big part of it… It was that every time he saw Harley, every cop-instinct he had was screaming at him to pay attention.

“No change!”

Harley walked closer and sat down on the bed, gently touching Jon’s bruised cheek, lifting the hand with the broken fingers gently to his lips.

“Who would do this?” he asked in a choked whisper and Donnie very much wanted an answer to that question himself.

“I don’t know! But we will find him and I will make him pay!”

Harley looked up at Donnie with a strange look in his eyes.

“I know you will. Jon is lucky to have such… loyal friends! Would you… mind giving me a minute alone with him?”

For some reason, Donnie thought about refusing. It made no sense at all, because Harley was entitled some privacy with his own husband, but still, some part of Donnie wanted to object.

“Sure!” he said and got up from the chair…

And Jon refused to let go of his hand. Surprised and shocked, Donnie looked at the monitors. They showed no change; Jon was still out of it. But that didn’t explain why he was holding on to Donnie’s hand like he was drowning and Donnie’s hand was the only thing keeping him above water.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know! Must be a muscle spasm or something, he won’t let go of me!”

“What?” Harley looked up at Jon’s face, searching for any sign or indication that he was waking up. “Jon? Baby, can you hear me? –Call the nurse! –Baby?”

And just like that, as sudden as blowing out a candle, Jon’s hand once more became limp and lifeless, his grip on Donnie loosening. Donnie wrinkled his forehead a bit, but said nothing about it. He was a cop, though, he was trained to look for clues, and he would bet his family fortune, if he’d had one, that the grip on his hand was intentional. Jon might still be out of it, but some part of him was aware of his surroundings, and subconsciously, he did not want Donnie to leave.

What he said out loud was:

“Gone! It’s probably nothing, just a muscle spasm or something!”

He could, quite literally, feel Harley’s eyes burning as he looked at him, but Donnie kept his gaze on Jon, not letting go of his hand. He wasn’t going anywhere. Whether conscious or not, Jon wanted him to stay, so Donnie stayed. If Harley didn’t like that, he could take it up with the proper authorities.

He stayed all through the night. He stayed when Harley went to get some coffee and he fell asleep with his head on Jon’s chest while Harley was gone, Jon’s slow breathing calming him. When he woke up, he was alone with Jon and the sun was shining. He stayed until Jordan came back. Jordan had his brother and sister with him, somehow sensing that Jon needed to have his family around and Donnie gave them all warm hugs and told them there had been no change, before he left.

He didn’t say anything about Jon refusing to let go of his hand. That was something he had to think about for himself.

* * *

Joe came by the hospital a few hours later, causing Jordan’s sister Sharon to blush furiously. Joe had made it his mission in life to tease Sharon, mercilessly, because he once caught her watching one of his movies, but this time, he didn’t really feel like making jokes.

Because inside, his heart was breaking.

Jon Knight had saved his life. Sure, Donnie and Danny had helped, he was man enough to admit that, but Jon had carried him home to get him cleaned up. Jon had followed him home that night, and had explained everything to Joe’s mom. Jon was his hero. He knew that Jordan idolized his big brother; it didn’t take a genius to figure that out, but to Joe, Jon was the sun. He had followed Jon around like a puppy for at least two weeks after the incident with the bullies, and Jon, bless his heart, who could have easily gotten sick and tired of having a five year old run after him wherever he went, actually seemed to enjoy his company. He played with him and talked with him and even made his two new pals Donnie and Danny hang with him. And as they got older, it was just sort of… expected of him, to hang with them, to come by and have dinner or watch movies or try and find girls. He would give everything he had for those guys, for his four friends, and it was all because of Jon.

And Jon had been almost beaten to death.

Instead of making fun at her, Joe walked up to Sharon and hugged her, his eyes tearing up when she flung her arms around him and sobbed in his ear. He heard Jordan say something to David, but he wasn’t sure what. Letting go of Sharon, he turned to give David a hug as well, glad that Jon had so many people around him who cared about him.

“Anything?” he asked Jordan, but he shook his head.

“No! Donnie was here all night, watching over him.”

They shared a sad smile at that, knowing how deeply Jon and Donnie felt for each other, despite such trivial things as being married or, in Donnie’s case, straight. But the way Joe saw it, it wasn’t about labels, it wasn’t about being gay or straight, it was about who you fell in love with. Jon and Donnie? They were in love! They always had been, ever since they first met, and Joe knew that for a fact, because he had been there to see it happen.

Not that Harley was a bad guy or anything, it was just… He might wear the ring, but he didn’t have the heart. At least not all of it. Jon would always love Donnie, more than anyone, even if he told himself that they were just good friends.

‘Good friends’… who couldn’t stop touching each other, who slow danced to romantic songs, who looked at each other like they were the only two people in the world… Yeah, good friends did that all the time.

Joe looked over at Jon. ‘Please, wake up, he thought to himself. ‘Because I don’t want to see what happens to Donnie if you don’t!’

* * *

Donnie didn’t exactly qualify what he was doing as ‘something stupid’, as he knocked on the door to Jon’s next-door neighbor. This was just him being a good friend! And that was why he put on his biggest and friendliest grin as the door opened.

“Morning, Jeremy!” he greeted the young man and got a huge smile in return.

“Hey, Mr Wahlberg… I mean Donnie!”

“Exactly!” Donnie said, still smiling. Jon had been helping Jeremy a lot during the last year or so, as he struggled with coming out, and Donnie had instructed the teenager the very first time they met, to call him by his first name. “What are you doing at home, aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“Gran wanted me to stay with her instead, she’s still a bit freaked! Is Mr K alright?”

The smile disappeared from Donnie’s face and a quick memory-flash of Jon in that hospital-bed hit him with the force of a three ton brick. He shook his head slowly.

“No! No, Jeremy, he’s not! Is your gran here? I just want to ask her a few questions!”

“Yeah, sure! –Gran! Mr Wahlberg is here! –Is Mr K allowed visitors?”

“Not yet, Jeremy, I’m sorry! –Mrs Kessler!”

The old woman was already wringing her hands nervously as she came out from what Donnie knew was the kitchen and the look she gave him was full of sadness.

“Oh, Mr Wahlberg, such a tragedy!” she said, her thick Irish accent even thicker than usual, telling Donnie that she was genuinely upset about what had happened. “–Jeremy, dear, go finish your homework!”

Jeremy nodded.

“Ok! –Tell Mr K I’m thinking about him!”

Donnie nodded in agreement and Jeremy ran back into the living-room.

“That poor Mr Knight… It’s not right, you see, it’s just not right something like that should happen to such a sweet young man. Is he ok?”

“He will be! Mrs Kessler, do you…”

“Have you caught him yet?”

“We’re doing everything we can, Mrs Kessler, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you a…”

“You know, I was saying that to Mabel just last week; it’s just not right, something like that should happen to such a sweet young man!”

“Last week?” Donnie said a silent prayer that the old woman wasn’t going senile on him. He was really hoping that she could provide him with something useful. “No, Mrs Kessler, Jon was attacked two nights ago!”

“I know!” Mrs Kessler said, her voice stronger now. “And the week before that it was the black eye! And last month, he couldn’t even use his hand properly. And oh, dear, that time with his back… Now, he didn’t think I saw it, but I’ve seen it all before! I know all the signs. The excuses, the downward glances, that shadow hanging over him…

“Shadow?” Donnie frowned a bit and for some reason, his stomach ached.

“My late husband, god rest him, had a sister in a similar situation, but at least she asked for help before her man did anything like this… That poor young man! Don’t think I didn’t offer, I did, I’m a good Christian, I told him to come stay with us, I told him to talk to the police, but he said it was fine, it was nothing to worry about, he could handle it. Handle it-my foot, he could barely walk that one time, after that animal had… It’s just wrong, Mr Wahlberg, it’s just plain wrong! And I said to him, I said ‘Just leave him, just get as far away from him as you possibly can’, but he just smiled at me. As if I had no idea what I was talking about!”

The pain in Donnie’s stomach moved all the way up to his heart, making it pound rapidly in his chest. ‘Oh, God’, he thought to himself. ‘Not that! Oh, Jesus, please, God, no, not that!’

“As if I didn’t already know!” Mrs Kessler continued, seemingly unaware of the state Donnie was in. “‘Nothing to worry about’ indeed! That man is as sweet as they come, so polite, so kind to my Jeremy, but that husband of his… Oh, I know his type! My late husband, god rest him, he couldn’t believe it at first when his sister told him, the man was such a good friend of his, but that’s the thing, you see, you never do with devils like that, because they make sure you don’t! ‘Nothing to worry about’, indeed! I could hear them sometimes, you know, and let me tell you something, Mr Wahlberg… A man in love does *not* treat his spouse like that. It’s just not right!”

Donnie was starting to feel sick! This was quite possibly the worst nightmare he had ever suffered through, and he was wide awake! ‘Jesus, Jon… What did he do to you? Why didn’t you tell me?’ Somewhere, a phone was ringing.

“My late husband, god rest him, never raised his hand at me, or his voice, not once during our 47 years of marriage. If you ask me, then there is something missing in that head of his to do that to an innocent human being. And that language! Will you please tell poor Jonathan that I am praying for him?”

Donnie was having difficulty breathing, but somehow, he managed to open his mouth and say, in a voice close to breaking:

“Yes… yes, of course… Mrs Kessler… I will…”

Mrs Kessler’s look was sympathetic.

“Don’t blame yourself, Mr Wahlberg, it’s not your fault you didn’t notice. If they don’t want people to know, they will make sure people don’t know!”

That didn’t exactly make Donnie feel any better, but his head moved up and down, so he assumed he was nodding. He couldn’t be sure, though, his mind was working overtime. How long had this been going on? How could he not have seen it? What the hell kind of best friend was that, who didn’t even see that someone was going through hell, and… The pain in his stomach came back with a vengeance.

Jon had dealt with this all alone! No one had seen it, not even Jordan!

“Gran”, Jeremy called from the living-room, “aunt Mary is on the phone!”

“Oh, ok, dear, thank you! –Please, forgive me, Mr Wahlberg. Thank you for stopping by and if there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask. The quicker you put that man behind bars where he belongs, the better for all of us!”

Harley! The name was like burning acid in his brain. He would be dealt with! Oh, he would be dealt with as soon as humanly possible!

“Oh, I will make sure of that personally, Mrs Kessler!” he said, not even caring if she saw in his eyes what he was thinking right now. “Thank you so much, you’re a true angel!”

“I’m just an old woman, dear!” And then, surprisingly, she reached out and patted Donnie’s cheek. “You’re a good man, Mr Wahlberg! The world needs more people like you!”

“Just doing my job, ma’am!” Donnie said, in his best ‘professional cop’-voice, then turned and walked swiftly to the car. A rage unlike anything he had ever experienced was boiling inside him. As soon as he got inside his car, he slammed the door shut, grabbed the wheel with both hands, held on until his knuckles turned white, and fought to control his breathing. He remembered Jon grabbing his hand in the hospital, holding on for dear life… to stop him from leaving! He remembered so many times in the past, more than he was comfortable with, actually, where he would see something in Jon’s eyes, something that wasn’t supposed to be there. He remembered, vividly, his best friend turning more and more serious over the last year or so, not laughing as hard as he used to. And Donnie had done *nothing*! He hadn’t even asked! ‘Jesus, Jon! Jesus Christ, why didn’t you say anything? What did he do to you? What did that sick fuck do to make you keep something like this to yourself?’ And what kind of best friend was Donnie, to not notice that something was wrong? Some fucking soulmate, totally oblivious to what was going on right in front of him!

He should have known when Jon called him that day, and told him that they couldn’t see each other for a while. Just those words alone should have told him that something was wrong. ‘We can’t see each other for a while”! He should have said something, should have asked… He was the worst friend in history! The worst friend ever!

He should have realized it a long time ago. They were so close, him and Jon, they even finished each other’s sentences sometimes. How could he not have seen this?

The more he thought about it, the more his heart pounded in his chest. He saw scenario after scenario, every abused victim he had ever laid eyes on, every single one of them, every single story they had told, one more terrifying than the next… He was imagining them all happening to Jon. All of it! His best friend! The person he loved more than anything! Suffering! At the hands of the one who was supposed to…

He screamed in sudden outrage and slammed his fist against the steering wheel. NO! No, no, no, oh, please, no… And it was Jon’s voice in his head, repeating the words over and over. No… please, no… Donnie screamed again, because at that moment, it felt as though his soul might explode if he didn’t.

And then he cried!

He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, could have been minutes, could have been hours, when his cell rang. He answered it, almost in a daze; still trying to figure out which way he could kill Harley that would hurt the most.

“Yeah?”

“Donnie! He’s awake!”


	4. Chapter 4

Jon was surprised that he was actually still alive. Realizing this had been a real shock to him. It had taken him a while to completely understand where he was and what was going on, but eventually, everything started to click into place. Jordan had been crying when he hugged him, so careful, like Jon was made of broken glass. Joe had never before seemed so young and helpless, and Jon, ever the big brother, wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him and tell him that it was going to be alright, but his body wasn’t fully co-operating with him yet.

The doctor had been there, checking him, asking him questions, but Jon’s throat was so dry that he couldn’t even speak properly, before having some water. He answered the questions to the best of his knowledge; yes, he knew his own name, yes, he knew who was president, yes, he understood that he was in hospital, and no, he had no memory of the attack or who it was that attacked him

He felt sickened by his lie, that he was still protecting Harley, even now, being the loyal husband, and even worse was how smoothly the lie had passed his lips, like it was the most natural thing to do, but he couldn’t tell them. He just couldn’t. They all loved Harley, they would be devastated.

Wanting to think of anything but the ‘incident’ that put him in a hospital bed, he begged his friends for assistance. Surely one of them had some stories to tell. He refused to acknowledge the fact that Donnie wasn’t there. He hadn’t even asked about him. He was petrified. He wasn’t altogether sure that he would be able to keep up the charade with Donnie in the room. Donnie was a cop. Sure, Danny was a cop, too, and a damn fine one, but Jon didn’t have the kind of bond with Danny that he had with Donnie. Lying over the phone was one thing. Face-to-face? No, he wouldn’t be able to think straight.

Eager to help improve Jon’s mood, Joey had begun a story about something that happened to him at work, and he was right in the middle of it, when Jon saw the door open and Donnie came in.

“And I’m in the zone, you know, I’m going through every trick in the book… ‘Oh, baby, you’re so fucking wet… I’m gonna eat your pussy, baby, you want me to eat your furry little pussy?’ And the bitch freaks out on me, and start calling me crazy, saying that I’m a psycho who’s gonna eat her cat, Mindy, or some shit like that! Randy is laughing his ass off, and Gerry is screaming ‘CUT!’ and that bitch is running around the set, butt fucking naked, yelling about calling the cops. Now, I know all about blondes and all that shit, but can you honestly tell me that you would…”

Jon had stopped listening the very second the door opened. Joe probably realized that his audience no longer paid him any attention, because he stopped talking. Jon didn’t even know that he was in the room anymore. Because Donnie was coming towards him now, and Jon could tell by the look in his eyes that something had happened. Somehow, Donnie knew!

Jon felt the bed move as Jordan and Joe got up to give Donnie some room, and Donnie didn’t even say anything, he just leaned down and put his arms around Jon in the tightest embrace he could muster without causing any pain. It hurt like hell, and Jon couldn’t care one bit, he hugged Donnie back just as fierce. He couldn’t speak, he just held on to his best friend and he was shocked to his very core when he felt Donnie’s shoulder shake with silent sobs.

Donnie’s hands moved up to Jon’s hair as he moved his lips from Jon’s ear to his cheek, giving him a soft kiss, then moving up to his forehead, repeating the motion and then down to his mouth, giving him a third kiss. His hands were gently touching every part of him that was visible and every single wall that Jon had built during his 18 months of hell was starting to crack.

Donnie took a deep breath and pulled back a bit to give Jon a proper look, and seeing the tears in that man’s eyes was even worse than the beatings Jon had taken earlier. He wanted to shake his head and tell Donnie that there was no need to cry, because he was alright, but he couldn’t move his head, and he couldn’t find the words. With Donnie looking at him like that, looking straight into his broken soul, there was no way that Jon would be able to say those words.

Because he’d be lying!

“Guys”, Donnie said, not taking his eyes of Jon, “could you give us a minute?”

He gave no further explanation, but no explanation was ever needed in their little group. Jon could hear the others leave, closing the door behind them, but it didn’t register as important, because as soon as the door was closed, Donnie’s lips were once again on his. It stung his swollen lip a bit, but Jon didn’t care.

“Donnie…” It wasn’t more than a sigh, because he couldn’t come up with anything else to say. But he knew that Donnie understood anyway. Their lips inches apart, eyes staring into each other, Donnie whispered in a broken voice:

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“I just had a chat with Mrs Kessler! Damn it, Jon…”

It didn’t take more than a second for Jon to understand what Donnie was talking about and he felt his entire body tense up. No! No, don’t ask me that, don’t make me say it out loud, don’t… He tried to look away, but Donnie held his gaze, refusing to let him slink away.

“Oh, no, you don’t! You need to tell me! All the years we have known each other… All the things we have done, you and me… together… How could you not tell me something like this?”

Jon felt his heart beating faster and it hurt to breathe, but he took a deep breath anyway. He had to, the proximity to this man was making him breathless.

“Donnie… please…”

“Look at you! He could have fucking killed you, Jon! Do you even realize that? That… fucking animal almost killed you!”

Jon swallowed and tried, desperately, to find a way out, to avoid talking about it, to get away from this entire conversation, but he knew it was pointless. There was nothing he could do, Donnie would never let this go!

And then he felt a stab of panic! Did they all know?! The thought ran ice cold through him, making him shiver.

“Who else knows?” Jon asked, his voice nothing more than a broken whisper, a light lisp to his words.

Donnie looked aghast.

“Jesus, *that’s* what you’re concerned about? What did he do to you, Jon? What did he do, to make you like this? This isn’t you? This isn’t the Jon I know!”

“It’s not like that…”

“I swear to god, Jon, if you say you walked into a door, I am going to fucking scream!”

He actually wasn’t gonna say that. To be honest, he had no idea what he was going to say.

“No… He’s… under a lot of pressure and…”

Donnie shot up from the bed and said some really bad words.

“Don’t you fucking dare make up excuses for what he’s done! I could care less about what reason he had for doing this, he did it!”

“Donnie…” Jon’s head was starting to hurt a bit. This was precisely what he had been afraid of.

“How long has this been going on?”

“If you…”

“How long, Jonathan?”

Jon sighed and winced a bit when his chest hurt.

“Eighteen months!”

“Jesus Christ… And you couldn’t tell me? I’m supposed to be your best friend!”

“I couldn’t!”

“Why not?”

And Jon debated with himself for about three seconds on whether or not he should actually tell the truth, and then he just sighed again. No point on lying, Donnie always knew when he was lying. And he couldn’t bring himself to do that, not to Donnie.

“Because I knew that if I told you, you would kill him!”

“You bet your sweet ass I’m gonna kill him! As many times as I can!”

“And then you would end up in jail for murder! Leaving me alone! You’re a cop, Donnie, you’re supposed to catch the bad guys, not turn into one yourself!” He couldn’t allow that to happen. He would never forgive himself if Donnie got himself arrested for killing Harley. So, he had kept quiet, and told no one! Because the truth would destroy them all!

Donnie came back to the bed and sat down.

“Jon…”

“I wanted to tell you”, Jon blurted out, “but… he said that if he found out that we were seeing each other, he would kill us both!”

“That’s why you called, isn’t it?” Donnie said. “That’s why you said you couldn’t see me for a while! Jesus, Jon… We are going to take him, you know that! Aggravated assault, attempted murder… Domestic abuse..." He looked sick just saying it out loud and Jon felt his heart stop for a second. "That son of a bitch is going to go away for a really long time!”

And suddenly, tears were running down Jon’s bruised face. He couldn’t stop them, it was like his whole body just let go, and he was allowed to let everything out. Donnie wrapped his arms around him once more, holding him close as he cried.

“I prayed”, Jon hiccupped, having no way of stopping himself this time, “so many times! I prayed that you would come for me and save me from him!” And then he realized what he was saying and he took another deep breath to calm himself, even though it hurt, and suddenly, they were just staring at each other. Jon wondered if he might be blushing, if Donnie would be able to tell. “I’m sorry”, he said, eventually, “I know that’s probably not what you want to hear right now… I swear, I didn’t mean it like that! I don’t feel that way about you anymore, I don’t, I’m a married man and… I just needed you to be there, as a friend, I just… I needed you…”

Donnie silenced him, very effectively, by kissing him once more, gently pressing his lips against Jon’s for a good six seconds, taking extra care not to damage the swollen lip. Jon made a surprised little noise and then, he got with the program and started kissing him back. Nothing in this world made sense anymore, and this certainly didn’t, but Jon was lost in a dream world where this was right and true and perfect and somehow, six seconds turned into ten… twelve… and then fourteen! Swollen lip be damned, Jon was in heaven!

“Ok”, Jon said, when they separated, sounded a bit hoarse. He wrinkled his forehead, cleared his throat and tried again: “Ok… what was that?”

Donnie gave him a shy smile and his hand found its way back to Jon’s hair, where it felt so at home that it decided to stay there forever.

“I think you know, Jon! It’s what should have happened 25 years ago! It’s you and me! It’s an end to all the silly games and all the weekly girlfriends and it’s the start of your new life… with me!”

“He must have hit me harder than I thought!” Jon murmured, not even bothering to check if Donnie heard him. "Are you serious? Donnie… I can’t believe I’m actually asking this question, but… Aren’t you supposed to be… oh, I don’t know… straight?”

Sure, there had been a huge amount of flirting between them over the years, but it was just playful teasing, just friends having fun… right? Surely Jon would have noticed if Donnie suddenly started batting for the other team?

But how could he? When they had barely seen each other lately. And how could he possibly have known, what with Harley hanging over him like a big, dark cloud, ready to strike down at any given moment.

“Well, I might’ve done a little soul-searching these past few months and I might’ve come to the conclusion that I might be… bisexual!”

Jon had absolutely no clue as to what he was supposed to say to that. He was probably still out of it, still unconscious and his brain was making up all these weird scenarios in his head.

“But it wasn’t until your brother called me and told me that you were taken to the hospital… When I realized how close I came to losing you forever… That’s when I knew that the bond we have between us… the love we share… It’s for life! That’s when I knew for sure that I’m in love with you! I love you, Jon! I always have! You’re my soulmate!”

Jon looked doubtful for about four seconds.

“Ok, somebody needs to pinch me, right now! Is this for real? You love me?”

The smile Donnie gave him was blinding.

“It took me a while to understand, but it’s so clear to me now. You and me? We were always meant to be together! You’re my sweet Jonathan, the one I’m supposed to be with! In this life and the next!”

Jon closed the distance between them, and they were kissing again, the growing passion between them making it hard to remember that they had to be careful and Jon felt like he had to pull back when his lip started to throb painfully. But there was no way he would stop what was happening. He could take a little pain, if it meant that he could stay like this, for the rest of his life.

* * *

On the other side of the door, their friends waited anxiously to be let back in. Jordan was on the phone, talking to some of Jon’s friends and Joe was pacing up and down the corridor, having never been good at waiting. Danny kept watching the door, hoping that it would open at any second.

“What the hell is going on in there?” he finally asked no one in particular.

“Well, at the top of my head, I’d say they were making up for lost time!” Joey smile was positively wicked and Danny had to smile back.

“I have no problem with them gettin’ busy, but probably not when Jon is fresh out of surgery and has been through a lot of shit.”

“Donnie is exactly what he needs right now, you know that. Those two have been waiting for this for so long, I say we should just let them have it.”

“In a hospital bed? Even for you, Joe, that’s just wrong.”

“Trust me, Dan, in my line of work, it’s not so much where you are, or who you’re with, it’s not getting caught.”

Danny shook his head, still smiling.

“Sometimes I worry about you, McIntyre!”

“Well, someone has to!”

Jordan came back, finishing his call.

“Alright, thanks, Kevin! Yeah, third floor. Ok! See ya! –Kevin’s coming by for a visit!”

“Great! How’s he doing?”

“Sounds like he’s doing fine! He said he would be another hour or so, but… Are they still talking?”

“I really think they have moved passed talking by now, J!”

Jordan made a face.

“Dude, that’s my brother you’re talking about!”

He might be elated that Jon and Donnie were finally acknowledging their feelings for each other, but as a little brother, he didn’t exactly want to know any details.

* * *

“So”, Donnie said, when the need for oxygen and Jon’s headache had finally forced them apart and Jon was once again lying down in bed, “you wanna let the others back in now?”

“I’m gonna have to tell them the truth, won’t I?” Jon dreaded the moment when his little brother found out. Jordan would be devastated. He had looked up to Jon, idolized him, for as long as Jon could remember. This would probably destroy that image for the rest of his life. And Joe... His sweet little man, who had been like a baby brother to him from day 1...

“Harley has to pay for what he has done, sweetheart, and your friends and family deserve to know!”

“I know that! I do, it’s just…”

“Scary?”

Jon looked up at him, his big, honest eyes tinged with worry. Donnie got up from the bed and then leaned down to give him one last kiss.

“No matter what happens, it’s you and me now! I’m on your side, like I’ve always been! Ok?

“Ok! Thank you!”

Donnie nodded and turned towards the door and that’s when Jon’s brain suddenly caught up with him. Did he really just hear Donnie say…

“Did you just call me ‘sweetheart’?”

Donnie turned his head to give him a crooked grin.

“I did!”

Jon’s heart started thumping again. This was unreal. But he felt himself doing something he hadn’t done for a very long time. He smiled, a small, but genuine smile directed at his best friend.

“I think I like that! Say it again!”

Donnie raised an eyebrow at him, and Jon suddenly knew that everything was going to be alright.

“You are definitely getting better, you’re fishing for compliments… sweetheart!”

Jon felt his smile grow bigger. He could literally feel life returning to his body.

“Yeah! I like it! Let them in!”

Donnie opened the door, nodding at the others who were anxiously waiting outside.

“Come on in, fellas, Jon has something to tell you!”

* * *

 

Not counting a brief visit from the doctor, Jon Knight spoke for a little more than an hour, telling his friends everything that had happened. Although hesitant at first, mindful of his swollen lip and the embarrassing lisp that made everything he said sound ridiculous, once he got started, he couldn’t seem to shut up, and when he started telling them about the events leading to him ending up in the hospital, he was so drained, so mentally and physically exhausted, that he just came out and said it:

“…And I knew he was on edge, I knew that even a sigh would set him off, I knew that nothing I ever did would ever be good enough, and I just… wanted it to end, I just wanted to be free, once and for all, so I said something that I knew would make him explode, hoping that he got it right this time and actually killed me…”

There was a gasp from Joey and Jordan’s whispered ‘Oh, Jesus’, was surprisingly loud in the moments of silence. Seconds passed. Jon didn’t even seem to notice. He was too wrapped up in his memories.

“Ok, for a few seconds… I was a little bit worried that he was actually going to try and kill Donnie, like he said, but then I figured: Fuck it! Donnie is twenty times the man Harley is, he will nail Harley and toss his ass in jail… That’s actually what I said to him, to get him riled up, that Donnie was more of a man than he ever could be and… it worked! He knew I meant it! –He saw us!”

Donnie’s face was blank for a few seconds, clearly not understanding what Jon was talking about.

“Excuse me?”

“Saw what?”

“At the rehearsal dinner… The gazebo… He saw us!”

Donnie closed his eyes for a second, probably remembering every single detail about that night, and it was so easy to read his facial expression at that moment, it was like reading a children’s book. He thought about what Jon had to put up with, because of what happened that night. Donnie blamed himself!

“Jesus Christ…” And then, as he realized what Jon had said, he blurted out: “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry…”

“So getting him pissed off was easy, I just mentioned your name! Next thing I know, I wake up here!”

When he finished talking, Donnie got up from the bed and started moving towards the door.

“I need some air!” was all he said, closing the door behind him before anyone could think of anything to say. They all seemed to be in a state of shock. Jordan looked absolutely devastated, tears falling, lips pressed tightly together. Somewhere during the story, Joey had seized Jon’s broken hand in his, in what could only be described as an iron grip and now, he was running his thumb soothingly over that hand, his shoulders shaking with barely contained sobbing, indicating that the soothing motion was as much for his own benefit as it was for his friend. Danny was staring at the closed door with a look of mixed concern and worry and then he fished out his cell and dialed a number.

“Mitchell? It’s Wood! We need to talk! No, I’ll come by! Ok!”

“Danny”, Jordan said in a cold voice as soon as Danny had finished his call, “you should leave!”

Danny looked, somewhat suspicious, at Jon’s younger brother.

“Why?”

“Because you’re one of my best friends and I love you and you need to be able to honestly tell your superiors and your co-workers that you had no idea…”

“I’m gonna stop you right there, Jordan, before you say something you’ll regret later! Listen…”

“I’m done listening! That… man… is a monster and he almost killed my brother!”

“I’m with J, Danny! He can’t get away with this!”

“And he won’t! Look, I want to break every bone in that guy’s body, you know that, but please… I don’t want to see either one of you thrown in jail on a murder charge! Fuck, Joe, you wouldn’t survive ten minutes behind bars! Let us handle this. I promise, we will make him pay, we will make him suffer… But it has to be done by the book!”

“Fuck the book!”

“Jordan… please…” Jon’s voice was both raw and tired, “I know what you’re doing and I love you for it… I love all you guys, but… Like it or not, Danny is right! Harley is the one who should rot in prison, not you! So please… for me… Let the law handle this? I just want to go home and get on with my life! Ok?”

“Ok! I’m sorry, Jon, I just… I think of everything he put you through and it makes me sick!”

“You’re the sweetest man I know, Jon”, Joey said, his tone somber, “for something like this to happen to someone like you… I hear what you’re saying and I accept that, but it’s hard for someone who loves you, to hear shit like that and not be able to do something!”

Jon suddenly turned pale as a ghost.

“Why isn’t Donnie back yet?”

For three seconds, nobody moved, and then Danny was out the door and running down the hall.

* * *

Technically, they weren’t really all that worried. Although passionate by nature, Donnie was a cop and a damn good one at that. Even though he liked to talk big, his friends knew that he would never knowingly, or willingly, do anything to break the law. So even though Danny soon came back to the others, shaking his head to indicate that there was no sign of him, they still weren’t all that worried.

And then Mitchell called Danny. Danny listened, turning more and more ashen and when he disconnected the call, he turned to his friends.

“Donnie came by the precinct… Mitchell said he looked… like a caged animal! He… threw his badge down on his desk and left, without even speaking to anyone!”

“Oh, god!”

“Now, look”, Jordan said, trying to be the voice of reason in this situation, and most of all, to make sure that his brother calmed down a bit, before going into complete panic mode, “Donnie is a smart guy! No matter what he’s feeling right now, he will cool down and when he does, he will come back here and apologize for running out like that!”

But what he was really thinking was that Donnie probably was on his way to finish off Harley right now, and to be perfectly honest, if Jordan had the power to stop him, he wouldn’t! Hell, he felt like cheering the guy on… or maybe assist him.

Jon was having one hell of a panic attack, rocking back and forth in the hospital bed, clutching his stomach, repeating the words ‘He wouldn’t! He wouldn’t’ over and over, hoping that those who heard him would actually believe him. Because Donnie would! Jon knew that he would! He knew that man better than he knew himself, he knew that if anyone would, it was Donnie. He just needed the rest of the world to know the exact opposite!

He had just started to calm down when Kevin showed up. And even though it was good to see his childhood friend, even though Kevin wouldn’t even be alive if it hadn’t been for Jon performing CPR after he had found the guy passed out from an overdose three years ago, he barely said two words to the man. He knew he should feel guilty, if it hadn’t been for him, Kevin wouldn’t even have a job, but he was too worked up and worried about Donnie to care about old friends. His heart was pounding so loud and so hard it was painful.

Kevin didn’t seem to mind, though.

“If there is anything I can do, fellas, don’t hesitate to ask, ok?”

“We will!” Jordan said, when it was clear that Jon wasn’t even listening anymore. “Thanks, Kevin!”

As soon as Kevin had left, Danny moved closer to the bed.

“Jon…”

“No!”

“Jonny, if you know…”

“I don’t! Don’t do this to me, Danny, please, don’t make me do this!”

“Jon, I understand”, Danny said, “Believe me, I do, but this is important. A man’s life is at stake here!”

“A man neither one of us really care about, D!” Joe pointed out, his eyes blazing as he scooted closer to Jon, as if to protect him from the big bad Wood. “I’m sorry, but that’s the truth!”

“Guys, Donnie is a cop! If he were to do this…”

“Harley almost killed Jon!”

“What the fuck, Dan, you’re his partner, remember?!”

“Exactly! And as his partner, I have to stop him, before he does something stupid! –Harley has to pay, Jon, you know that! He should rot in a prison cell for the rest of his life for what he did to you. If Donnie kills him…”

Jon turned white and Jordan looked furious.

“Jon… If Donnie kills him, then Harley wins! Think about it! Donnie ends up in jail for murder and you would live the rest of your life feeling guilty! If he really is your best friend, if you…” He took a deep breath, but figured they were all family in this room and went on: “If you love him as much as I think you do… Then help him! Think, Jon, please! Where could Harley have gone? If he thought we were on to him, if he even suspected that we knew the truth… and he must’ve known that the jig was up as soon as you woke up… Where would he go? What’s the one place where he feels completely safe? Where he thinks that no one can find him?”

Jon was white as a sheet and Jordan was starting to worry about his brother. He should be resting, he was recovering from a severe beating, for crying out loud, and Danny getting him worked up like this wasn’t helping at all.

“Danny, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave now!” He said, taking a step closer to Danny, but keeping close to the hospital bed as well. “My brother has been through a lot, he needs to rest and you’re not helping!”

Danny sighed. He knew Jordan well enough to know that he would never back down once he set his mind to it, but he was trying to save his partner’s life, couldn’t they see that? He understood that Jordan was concerned about Jon, hell, Danny was concerned about him as well, and he really, really wanted to get his hands on the son of a bitch who had hurt one of his dearest friends, but he had to remain focused, he had to concentrate on the job. He was a cop! His job was to stop bad guys! Not fight with his friends!

“Alright!” he said, backing down. “I’ll go! But we can’t sweep this under the rug, guys! We need to be prepared for the worst! And I need to make sure that a man we all love isn’t about to make the biggest mistake of his life!”

He could see, clear as day, that he was speaking to a deaf crowd, so he turned and walked out, closing the door with a rather loud bang. Jordan walked over to his brother, putting his arms around him.

“You know I love you, right, bro?”

He felt Jon nod and the sob close to his ear threatened to break him completely.

“We’ll get through this, Jon!” he said, making it a solemn vow. “We’re all standing by you, you know that!”

“I just…” Joe sighed and shook his head a bit. “God, don’t get me wrong, I understand why you wouldn’t say anything to us, Jon, but…”

“I know! I’m sorry, guys! I… I really know how to pick’em, don’t I?”

There was a few seconds of awkward silence and then, Jordan thought of something and gave his brother a big, reassuring smile.

“Now, now, don’t sell yourself short like that! What about Donnie?”

“He’s right, Jon, you can’t do much better than that!”

Jon looked from one smiling face to the other, and took a deep breath.

“Ok, how long have you guys known about this?” He didn’t think that Donnie had actually told them.

“Well… we have eyes! And we know how to use them!”

“You two have been all over each other since you were ten!

“And also… What’s this I hear about a gazebo?”

Jon sighed.

“You weren’t really supposed to hear that at all, bro!”

“Tough shit! Now spill! What happened?”

“Guys, seriously, it’s personal, don’t you think…”

“Hell-ooo?! Little brother here! It’s my job to bug you, it says so in the contract! Now start talking! You and Donnie… in the gazebo… at the rehearsal dinner?”

“That’s porn material right there, my friend!”

Jon couldn’t help but smile at them. They could beg for days if they wanted to, he would never tell them what happened that night. That was between him and Donnie and the stars that shone that night.

* * *

It was close to midnight when the phone next to Jon’s hospital bed started to ring. Jordan, not wanting his exhausted brother to wake up, answered quickly.

“Hello?”

“J… I need to talk to Jon!” Donnie’s voice was slurred. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was drunk.

“He’s sleeping! I don’t want to wake him up right now. The doctors had to give him something to help him sleep, he was getting hysterical…” He took a deep breath. “Donnie… Did you do it?”

Silence. He could hear Donnie breathing heavily.

“Could you tell him something from me?”

“Tell him yourself, dude! Get your ass over here and tell him yourself!”

“Tell him I’m sorry!”

Oh, no! No fucking way was he bailing on them, not when they needed him the most.

“Don’t you dare, Don, don’t you fucking do this to my brother! Get back here, now! For fuck sake, Jon needs you!”

“It wasn’t me, ok? You need to know that, Jordan! Whatever they say about me, I didn’t do it!”

Jordan closed his eyes for a moment, taking yet another deep breath.

“I don’t care, Donnie! It doesn’t matter! Jon needs you! Are you really gonna turn your back on him?”

“I have to go! I’ll be in touch! Tell him… Never mind, he already knows!”

There was a click and Donnie was gone. For a few minutes, Jordan just stood there, holding the phone to his ear, trying to remember how to breathe. Good god! Holy freaking mother of god! He actually did it! Sure, he said that he didn’t, but why would he say that, unless he had actually done something?

Jordan’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest. No way was he gonna tell Danny about this. No way would he give the cops any leads on where to find Donnie. The man had destroyed a monster that almost killed Jordan’s most beloved big brother. If the cops thought he would give them anything, if they thought they would get any kind of information out of Jordan Knight, they would be sorely disappointed. Jordan would be in Donnie’s debt for the rest of his life for this.

He sat down on the chair placed on the right side of the bed, not taking his eyes of his sleeping brother. He would tell Jon… eventually… Probably! It would do him good to learn that the man he loved had effectively ended the life of the one who hurt him so badly. Jordan smiled to himself, a bit sadly. He had waited basically his entire adult life for his brother and his friend to end up together. And Jordan would personally make sure that nothing interfered with the two of them spending the rest of their lives that way.


	5. Chapter 5

Joe couldn’t sleep. Jordan had basically ordered him to take some rest, but he had too many things on his mind to be able to relax, and Donnie being out doing the world a favor was only one of them.  
Several hours without sleep, however, was beginning to take its toll, but Joe refused to accept what his body was telling him. He needed his senses to be on full alert in case there were any news, so instead of resting, he went down to the hospital cafeteria for a good old fashioned caffeine kick.

What he forgot to take into account, though, was how sleep deprivation affected the human body. He was swaying gently as he stood in line, his hands shaking a bit and he had to blink a few times when he placed his order, because his vision was getting blurry. And, of course, the first thing that happened when he got his coffee and turned to leave, was that his cell phone rang, making him spill his coffee all over himself, almost knocking the woman standing behind him in line.

For 0.2 seconds, times stood still, and then, there was a shriek and time started moving again. The first thing he noticed was that the coffee was really hot and the second thing he noticed was that his cell was still ringing. The looks of sympathy from the other patrons in the cafeteria, as well as the shrieking of the woman he accidentally had backed into, didn’t help either. Cursing to himself, he took his empty coffee mug and left.

Jon was still asleep when Joe came back, holding two cups of stale, coffee machine-made coffee, still cursing to himself. Jordan took one of the cups and couldn’t help but ask:

“So, this is you resting? I thought I told you to go home!”

“Can’t rest! How is he?”

Jordan looked down at the paper cup in his hand.

“Donnie called!”

Joe, hand lifted to his face to drink his coffee, froze and stared at first Jordan, then Jon.

“And…?” he said, after a few seconds of silence.

Jordan nodded and Jon sank down on the nearest available chair, still holding his paper cup to his mouth. No one spoke for a full minute.

“For real?!” Joe eventually asked.

“He was drunk”, Jordan admitted, in a low voice, “and he kept saying ‘It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it’… He wanted me to tell Jon that he was sorry, and that he’d be in touch. That was it!”

“Shit! Where is he now?”

“I don’t know!”

“Did you try his cell?”

“Now, why didn’t I think of that? Of course I did, 15 times! It goes straight to voicemail! I’ve tried texting him, I’ve tried everything! Nothing! He’s gone underground!”

“What about…?” Joe looked over at the sleeping Jonathan.

“I haven’t told him anything yet! I just… I don’t know where to start. Fuck, Joe…” He lowered his voice down further, to a harsh whisper. “Do I start by telling him that his husband is dead or that the man he loves is the killer?”

“Have you told Danny?”

“No!”

“J… Don’t you kinda have to?”

“He’ll find out soon enough!

“I’m not saying you’re wrong, Jordan, but…”

“I am not telling him, Joe!”

“Guys… I’m trying to sleep here!”

Both Joe and Jordan turned at the sound of Jon’s voice, looking like they had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“Hey, bro! How do you feel?”

“My head hurts! I wouldn’t mind some water!”

Jordan fixed him a glass of water and Joe moved his chair a little closer to the bed.

“What time is it?”

“5.30! You’ve been out most of the night. You needed to rest!”

“So, what did I miss?”

Jordan looked over at Joe, who looked back, and Jon instantly knew that something had happened.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Is Donnie back yet?”

“Well… No! Not yet!”

“But he’ll be here soon!” Joe said, before Jordan could continue. “You know Donnie, the man can’t function properly unless you’re near him.”

If Jon suspected anything, he didn’t say.

“So what were the two of you whispering about when I woke up?”

“We weren’t…”

“Don’t lie to me, J; I’ve had it up to here with lies. Just tell me the truth!”

“I think Jordan should apologize to Danny!” Joe said, providing Jordan with a window.

“Just stop it, Joseph!”

“I’m just saying… sooner or later, you might have to talk to him!”

“I’m not talking to Danny, Joe! I won’t do it!”

“Joey’s right, though, J, I would hate to see you and Danny fight… mostly because he would beat your sorry ass!” He added with a sly grin.

“Yeah, but… Wait, WHAT?!” Jordan actually looked shocked for about three seconds and he could hear Joe laugh right beside him. “I don’t believe this, my own brother… You don’t think I could take him?”

“Come on, J, he’s right! Hell, even I could kick your scrawny little ass!”

Jordan looked over at his friend, incredulously.

“Oh, you’re so full of shit, Joe!”

“Jordan, you teach art, for crying out loud! No offence to Jonny, but you could not get any more gay than that!”

“I’m sorry, since when does being gay mean that you can’t kick some ass?”

“I’m not saying it does! I’m just saying your brother here has a better shot at kissing ass than kicking them!"

“Fuck you, Joe!”

“Well… Yeah, ok, if you did that, it would get even more gay, that’s true!” Joe nodded, still grinning madly. Jordan put his hands over his face, groaning.

“You guys suck!” he muttered.

“And that too!” Jon pointed out and before you knew it, they were all laughing.

* * *

“You’ve reached the voice mail of Donnie Wahlberg! I’m out catching bad guys, so leave name, number and a damn good reason why I should get back to you…”

Danny sighed as he listened to his partner’s voice mail.

“Donnie, it’s me… again! Where the hell are you, man?! Don’t do this to me! This is a really shitty time to go AWOL, remember? Pick up the damn phone, man, I need to talk you out of it! You’re not seriously thinking about doing what I think you are, right? Donnie…”

“Yo, Wood! Byers just called, said he’s got a body for you!”

“Call me, ok? Soon! –I’m kinda busy, Richards, why me?”

“Because Byers is primary and he requested your assistance. The body was found in your neighborhood.”

“Fine!”

“I just hope you haven’t eaten anything yet, Byers said the guy was beaten to death. It’s not pretty!”

“I see your face every day, Richards, I can handle anything!”

“Screw you! Here’s the address!”

Danny didn’t like the feeling in his gut as he drove down to the docks to take a look at Byers’ murder victim. His partner wasn’t answering his cell and it worried Danny, more than he wanted to admit. He hadn’t been lying about this being a shitty time to go missing. In fact, it was the worst possible time ever for Donnie to go missing. Because if Danny’s gut feeling was right, and it usually was, that meant that his partner was in deep trouble.

He actually had to stay in the car for a few minutes, taking long, deep breaths, before he got out, praying for the best, already knowing the worst.

Byers walked up to him, his face grim.

“Hey, Danny! Hope you’ve got a strong stomach. Whoever did this was holding some serious grudge. The guy is barely recognizable!”

Danny hated when his gut feeling was right. Even though the dead man was literally mauled, there was no doubt about who it was. Danny sighed as he crouched down next to Harley’s body.

“Fuck!”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I… I know this guy, he’s married to a friend of mine!”

“Shit, I’m sorry, dude!”

Danny didn’t even answer. He was watching Harley’s bloody face and the thought ‘Good riddance, you sick son of a bitch!’ was running through his head right next to ‘Shit, Donnie, what the fuck have you done?’. In his heart of hearts, he knew that Donnie couldn’t have done this, no matter how much he hated Harley, but right now? With Donnie not answering his cell… Yeah, it didn’t look good!

“Any leads at all?” he asked, interrupting Byers’ conversation with another officer.

“None! This guy was good, he knew what he was doing. No witnesses, no fingerprints, no shoeprints… nothing. We won’t know for sure until forensics get their greedy little hands on him, but my initial guess? This was personal! There’s still money in the wallet, his clothes are still on him… Whoever did this, just really wanted this guy dead. Can you think of anyone who might’ve had a bone to pick with this guy?”

‘Yeah, me’, Danny found himself thinking, ‘and Jordan, and Joe, and… Donnie, tell me you didn’t do this!’

“No”, he said out loud, ignoring the stab in his heart at lying to a fellow cop. But he just couldn’t say the words. Donnie was his partner, his best friend, they had known each other since they were kids. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“You wanna notify his family?”

“Yeah… His husband is in hospital right now, I... I was there just last night... I’ll take care of it! Thanks, Byers!”

“Anytime! Hey, where’s your partner?”

“He’s at home, sleeping! He’ll be back soon!” Danny felt sick as the lies left his mouth, one after the other. He really wished that he had a little more faith in his friend’s innocence, but knowing Donnie the way he did, how fiercely protective he was when it came to friends and family, how it killed him that he hadn’t known about his best friend’s problems before… the rage when he found out what Harley had done to Jon... How he would do anything for Jon, to keep him safe…

“I should go talk to his family!” he said, standing up. Byers nodded.

“I’ll go with you!”

“No! It’s ok, Byers, I’ve got this! You…”

“Don’t be stupid, Danny-boy, I’m going with you! You’re too involved in this one, you might miss something crucial!”

Danny took a deep breath, and didn’t say anything else. Byers had no idea just how deeply involved he really was.

* * *

Joe was in a much better mood when he entered the cafeteria again. He was there on a special order from Jon, who was having some serious sugar cravings and had asked Joe to bring him something sweet.

“Sure thing”, Joe had said, “you want a blonde or a brunette?” making Jon laugh until his stomach hurt. Jon’s mother, having just arrived, had given them both a look, moaning about how Jon’s first priority should be his health, and not a sugar rush, and then asked Joe if he could pick her up something sweet for her as well.

“Absolutely, Mrs K”, Jon had said, grinning from ear to ear, “you want a blonde or a brunette?”

She had frowned a bit, as if really thinking about it, and said:

“Find me a redhead!”

So Joe was in a really good mood. So good, in fact that he called his boss as he waited in line, saying:

“Gerry, it’s me! I’m coming back to work, bright and early tomorrow morning! … Yeah, he’s getting much better… Thanks!”

And then, he got the shock of a lifetime, when Gerry told him that he had been replaced.

“WHAT the FUCK?”

“Sssh!” someone said behind him, but he didn’t pay them any attention.

“Gerry, you can’t replace me, you need me and you know that! … Well, who is it? … Are you fucking serious? Bobby Long has got the acting skill of a French hot dog!”

He was about to throw his cell phone against the nearest wall when Gerry started laughing at him.

“You evil son of a bitch, you almost had me! … Yeah, well, I was beginning to wonder… Bobby Long, seriously?!”

“Excuse me”, a kind voice interrupted him, “could you keep it down a bit? Unless it’s something that you wish to share with the rest of the group?”

He looked up and found a woman smiling at him.

And lightning struck!

Standing in front of him in line, was the most enchanting woman he had ever seen. And in his particular line of work, you saw a LOT of women. But this one… She was mesmerizing! Joe wasn’t even sure if he was staring or not.

“Gerry, I have to go! See you tomorrow!” he said, smiling sheepishly at the beautiful woman as he put his phone back in his pocket. She smiled back at him and Joe’s stomach did a weird fluttering thing.

She was a real beauty with caramel skin, hazel eyes and wavy black hair. She couldn’t be more than 5'3" and her eyes… Her eyes were warm and friendly, but there had been an edge in her voice that reminded him of the way his teacher, ms Pike, had scolded him for talking too loud in class. This woman was a teacher, he would bet his life on that.

“Sorry!” he said, his smile turning more charming by the second.

“Just try and keep it down next time!” She answered him, still smiling, and he said, without even thinking:

“Yes, miss!”

She raised an eyebrow at him, and extended her hand.

“I’m Nyia!”

“Joe!” He took her hand, marveling at how well that adorable hand fit in his. She was absolutely perfect! Even the dimple in her right cheek only added to her perfection. And those eyes… They would be the death of him. They were huge! They reminded him of a deer. A doe-eyed little deer… Jesus, next he’ll be spurting out bad poetry.

“Can I have my hand back, please?”

He was still holding her hand! Letting go, his charming smile turned sheepish once more, but at that very moment, her order was done and she turned to pay. Joe knew that it was now or never, he had about seven seconds before this goddess disappeared out of his life forever. As she took her cup and turned to leave, he left his place in line to stop her.

“Wait!”

She stopped, still smiling, but the look in her eyes told him that kind strangers were still strangers and she had no reason to trust him or do anything he asked of her. Only problem was that he had absolutely no idea what to say that would convince her otherwise.

“I just…” It was embarrassing; his brain provided no help at all. “I was thinking… if you’re not too busy…”

“I do have to get back to work!”

“Yeah! Of course!” This was stupid, he felt like a silly boy with a crush. Just ask her out, jackass! “So… Would you like to…”

And in the corner of his eye, he saw Danny passing with some other guy… heading for the elevator… going up to Jon’s room.

“Shit! I… Wait here, I just… -Danny?!”

He ran after Danny, forgetting about the pretty girl, catching up to them by the elevator.

“Danny? What’s going on?”

“Now is a kinda bad time, Joe!”

“You’re going to see Jon, aren’t you? I’m going with you!”

Danny sighed. It wasn’t like he could tell Joe to stay behind, he deserved to know as well. He introduced Byers to Joe.

“Why do I recognize you?” byers asked. “Have we met before?”

Joe took a deep breath. How to deal with this one… Danny was grinning at him as he said:

“No, man, I’m an actor!”

“Huh! I think I’ve seen your movies…” Byers mused, causing Danny to snort. “What’s your last name?”

Joe debated on whether or not he should tell Byers his real name and finally settled for:

“I’m Joey Anaconda!”


	6. Chapter 6

Byers were still sporting a lovely shade of red from embarrasment when they reached Jon’s room. Joe simply shrugged his shoulders. He was used to that reaction, it came with the job when you were a porn star. Danny saw Jon avert his attention from his brother to the door and he could literally see Jon’s face light up like a freaking Christmas tree and then fall completely when he realized that the man next to Danny wasn’t Donnie. Danny’s heart was breaking for him. ‘Damn it, Don, don’t abandon him when he needs you the most!’ he thought to himself.

“Daniel!” He was suddenly wrapped up in a warm hug by Jon and Jordan’s mother, and he hugged her back, genuinely happy to see her, even if the circumstances could have been better. It was good that she was here, Jon was going to need his entire family right now.

“Hey, Marlene!”

“It’s good to see you, last time was… at Christmas, I think!”

“I know, I’ve been busy with work! I got the card for my birthday, thank you so much!”

“Oh, you are very welcome! How’s Sally?”

“She’s good! I’m sorry, Marlene, but I’m here on official business… -Jon…”

Jon smiled at him and Danny cringed inwardly. This was not going to be easy!

“Hey, Danny, what’s up?”

“Jon, there’s no easy way to say this… Harley’s dead!” Might as well get it over with quickly.

“What are you…” And then, realization hit, and Danny could see that Jon understood exactly what those words meant! “No!”

“I’m so sorry, Jon!” But he knew, and he knew that Jon knew as well. He wasn’t sorry that Harley was dead. He would never be sorry that asshole was gone so that he couldn’t hurt Jon anymore. He was sorry, because Harley dead meant that Donnie could have killed him! And that was tearing them both apart.

Jon had started to shake, all over, his face turning as pale as a ghost and his mother ran over to his bed to pull him close. Danny really hated this part of the job, but never at hotly as right now. He watched as Jon’s family all embraced him, offering comfort, even Joe was there to offer his anything but sincere condolences… all except Jordan, who was coming towards Danny.

“Look, Dan… About the way I acted before… I’m sorry! About everything!”

Meaning that he was sorry that Danny was put in this position, sorry that his partner had turned him into a liar. Danny understood that. He nodded!

“I’m sorry too, J”! He said, all the while listening to the sobbing as Jon’s heart broke into a million pieces. Almost as an afterthought, he indicated Byers.

“Detective Jack Byers - Jordan Knight!”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mr Knight!”

“Thank you!”

“I hate to do this, but we would like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind?”

“Yes, of course, anything I can do!”

“Thank you! When was the last time you saw your brother-in-law?”

“Yesterday, right here at the hospital! And then, right before… 11, I think, he called to say good night to Jon, and… Yeah, that was it!”

“Did you notice anything strange about his behavior, anything out of the ordinary?”

“No, nothing! This is so weird, I talked to him just last night, and now he’s dead?! Harley is… was… such a sweet guy… He never hurt a fly! I can’t believe someone would murder him!”

Danny got that sick feeling again. Jordan was lying through his teeth and he didn’t even seem bothered by it. Danny didn’t like that one bit.

“What makes you think he was murdered, Mr Knight?”

To Jordan’s credit, he just blinked, once, before answering:

“If it had been an accident, you would have said so!”

“Were you here all night, J?”

Jordan gave him a cold stare.

“I don’t walk out on people in their hour of need, Dan, friends or family, that’s not who I am! You know that! I’ve been here all night! You can ask the night nurse if you don’t believe me! If there was nothing else, gentlemen, I would like to get back to my brother. Are we done?”

“What happened to your brother?” Byers asked. Danny took a deep breath. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Mitchell about what he had learned. So what would Jordan say? Would he tell Byers the truth?

“Hate crime!” Jordan almost spat it out. “Some asshole attacked him!”

“Sorry to hear that! Any suspects?”

Jordan’s eyes flickered over to Danny for a split second; it wouldn’t even have been noticeable if you hadn’t been looking for it. Danny had been looking for it.

“No!” Jordan said. “But I hope they get what they deserve. Are we done here?”

“For now! Thank you so much for your cooperation, Mr Knight!”

“Anytime, detective! –Danny!”

“I’ll see you later, Jordan!” Danny walked right past his friend and bent down to give Jon a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jonny!” he whispered and as he looked up, he saw in Jon’s eyes that they understood each other. “I’ll do everything I can!”

Jon nodded, and said nothing.

Byers could barely wait until they got out and were walking towards the elevator.

“Well, that was interesting!”

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t see it, did you? See, that’s what I was afraid of, you’re too close to these people, you can’t even tell when…”

“What are you talking about?” Danny interrupted. He didn’t like the sound of this.

“When you told Mr Knight that his husband was dead, did you happen to check the reaction of his brother?”

“What about it?”

“There was none! No surprise, no shock at the news that his brother-in-law had been brutally murdered! And he was pretty quick to jump to that particular conclusion, don’t you think?”

Danny’s gut feeling was screaming at him, but he flat out refused to listen to it this time.

“What are you getting at, Byers?”

“I think he already knew!”

“That’s impossible! How could he?”

“I don’t know, you tell me! They’re your friends!”

Danny frowned at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, just… If I were you, I’d look it up!”

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jon felt numb. People were talking, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying, didn’t know if they were talking to him or each other. There were voices, he knew that, he wasn’t completely deaf; it was just that… they all sounded so far away.

Harley was dead!

His once loving husband was gone.

That wasn’t entirely true, though. His loving husband, the one he fell in love with, the one he married two years ago… That man had been dead a long time already. This Harley was a complete stranger.

He was crying, but it wasn’t over Harley! He had shed so many tears over the past year because of that man that he had actually thought he had no tears left. Harley didn’t deserve his tears or his grief.

Donnie, on the other hand…

He knew Donnie had something to do with Harley’s death. But Donnie was a cop; he was supposed to catch the bad guys… Maybe that’s what had happened? He went to arrest Harley, who fought back… and ended up feeling the full force of a pissed off Donnie Wahlberg.

Jon had seen it happen before. In high school, when those obnoxious Winchester brothers had picked on Jon one time too many. Donnie had snapped! If Jon hadn’t been there to stop him, he probably would have killed both Sam and Dean, right then and there.

But if Jon wasn’t there to stop him? Yeah, it was more than likely so that Donnie had killed Harley.

‘Nothing says Endless Love like capital murder!’ He remembered the line so clearly, because at the time, when he had watched the show and the main character had uttered those exact words to his bride-to-be, Jon had thought it sounded completely insane and somewhat twisted. Now, though? Good lord, he was actually agreeing with the guy!

“Jonny… You ok?” Jordan’s voice filtered through the fog and Jon looked up to find his whole family standing by the bed, looking concerned. Jon tried taking a deep, shaky breath that only ended in him sobbing his heart out.

“Oh, sweetheart”, he heard his mother say, “I am so sorry!”

She really had no idea what was going on, that poor woman! Jordan should fill her in. He couldn’t do it himself; he wouldn’t even know where to begin. She would be so disappointed in him… No, what he needed right now was some time to himself.

“I need to be alone… ok?”

Jordan’s concerned look turned slightly suspicious.

“Are you sure about that, Jon?”

Jon gave him a nod. Dear, sweet Jordan, did he actually thought that Jon would do something stupid? Because of this?

“I’m fine, J! I just need a few minutes! Please?”

He couldn’t help but draw a deep sigh of relief when they accepted and started walking out. He even heard Jordan talking about buying mom coffee. Joe stayed behind for a few seconds, and then gave him a little smile as he took Jon’s hand and held it in his own.

“If you need anything…Anything at all…”

“I know! Thanks, little man!”

Joe blinked at once again hearing the nickname Jon gave him when he was a boy, and he gave a shaky smile before he left the room, closing the door behind him.

As soon as he was alone, Jon allowed himself to break down. His soul had been broken for eighteen months, but he had never experienced the feeling of having his heart shattered into a million tiny pieces.

He didn’t like it!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Donnie, it’s me again! I… What the hell have you done, partner? Jon is completely broken, he needs you… You need to keep your head down; I get that, but… At least let him know that you’re ok! I just… I can’t believe you actually did it! What the hell were you thinking? I know Jonny means the world to you, but you think ending up in jail for murder is the way to… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just… I don’t like this! Ok? I don’t like it at all! Please, please, call me! Call Jon! Just give us a sign! I have to go! Take care, partner!”

Donnie sighed as he listened to Danny’s latest message. They had all called him, Danny, Jordan, Joe… Mitchell, Byers… Everyone had left messages… except Jon! And frankly, it was killing Donnie that Jon hadn’t called. Sure, Jon was in hospital, his husband had been found murdered, he had other stuff on his mind right now… but three days had passed now. Three days without Donnie hearing Jon’s voice, and, well… He missed it!

He knew they all worried about him. But he needed to bide his time. He would be in cuffs the second he stepped out into the light, no matter what he said. Prime suspect in Harley’s murder! He wasn’t stupid; he knew that even though they hadn’t made the connection yet, it was only a matter of time before someone would. Sooner or later, someone would say something, and even though he didn’t want to, Danny would be the one to do it. Danny was his oldest friend, the one he would take a bullet for… but at the end of the day, Danny would do what he felt was right, and he would tell Byers about his suspicions and Donnie’s connection to Jon and Harley.

And it was only a matter of time before they figured out where he was hiding.

He was sick and tired of hiding; he wasn’t the person who ran and hid in the face of danger. But he just couldn’t risk anything. Not yet! Not until he found what he was looking for! Until then, everybody was just gonna have to assume that Donnie was the killer.

Jon, too!

That thought made his blood run cold. No! He couldn’t accept that! He couldn’t do that to Jon! The others, they could believe whatever the fuck they wanted, he could care less, but Jon… He deserved to know the truth!

Eyes to the ground, he walked the final steps to the payphone. He really shouldn’t stay too long in this part of town, but he had to talk to Jon, had to hear his voice, had to tell him what happened.

The seconds that went by before someone picked up felt like hours to Donnie, and then, finally, Jon answered.

“Where are you?”

He had to smile at that. Of course Jon would know it was him, their bond was that strong.

“In your heart, where I belong!” he said, trying to sound jovial, but it backfired when he heard a gut-wrenching sob from Jon.

“Donnie…”

“I am so sorry, baby! I really am!”

“Tell me you didn’t do it, Donnie! Please, just… tell me you didn’t do it!”

Donnie took a deep breath.

“On my life, Jon, on my love for you, I didn’t do it!”

A few moments of deafening silence.

“I believe you!”

“Thank you!”

“Do you know who did?”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out at the moment, baby. How are you? They released you from the hospital yet?”

“Not yet! I’ll be home by the end of the week… I’m staying with Jordan and Reema, though; I am not going back to the house… Too many memories!”

“Yeah, I get that!”

There was a few seconds of silence and Donnie could hear Jon trying to control his breathing.

“Donnie… I need you!”

“I know, sweetheart, I know! I miss you, too… Fuck, I love you so much! You need to know that! For me, it’s always been you… Always and forever!”

“I love you too!”

He had to tell him! This couldn’t go on any longer, he had to tell Jon the truth.

“Jon, there’s something you need to know!”

“What is it?”

“I didn’t kill Harley…”

“I know!”

“But I wanted to! And I came really close! I beat the living shit out of him! I wanted that bastard to suffer the way he made you suffer, I wanted him to beg me to kill him, but… something stopped me. It was your voice, Jon; you were begging me to stop… so I did! He was alive when I left, Jon, I swear to you! I may have broken every bone in his body, but I didn’t kill him!”

“I believe you! You can relax, Donnie, the cops has got nothing on you! The thought hasn’t even crossed their minds. I don’t think you have to… I think it’s safe for you to come back now!”

“I have to find Harley’s killer, sweetheart, I have to be able to clear my name! I walk into the precinct now and they’ll have me in cuffs before you know it. I’m the guy who has always been nasty to Harley; the one everyone knew I had a problem with… The guy his husband is in love with… If you then add to the fact that doctors and nurses have seen me stay by your side, day and night, watching over you, singing to you… I’m fucked if I show up now.”

“I heard you!”

“Excuse me?”

“You sang to me! Soul of my soul… I heard it!”

Donnie had to take a few calming breaths. Did Jon take a course to find out exactly what to say to turn Donnie into a blubbering idiot? Damn that man and the bond between them! He swallowed hard and tried to change the subject.

“How’s Danny, have you talked to him?”

“Yeah, I have! This is killing him, Donnie!”

“I know, baby! I’ll talk to him! What about the others?”

“Well, Joey’s in love, can you believe that? He doesn’t even know her full name; he just talked to her for two minutes in line when he was buying coffee. I think he even asked Danny to try and locate her for him.”

“Joey Anaconda in love?” Donnie had to laugh at that. “Good for him! It was bound to happen sooner or later!”

“I know! Jordan and Danny aren’t exactly on speaking terms right now. I know Danny’s just trying to do the right thing, but J seems to think that he should be more supportive of his missing partner. They… They all think that… Even Danny… They all think you’re guilty!”

“Yeah, I figured as much! I didn’t exactly make the greatest of exits, did I? I’m guessing Jordan didn’t tell you that I…”

“Hey, bro, who are you talking to?” A voice was suddenly heard and Donnie knew that voice. He held his breath as Jon stammered:

“J…I’m…It’s…”

Donnie sighed. He was gonna have to cut this short anyway, so why not let Jordan know who was on the phone.

“Tell him, Jon, it’s ok! I have to go, anyway!”

“No, wait! Please…”

“Jon, what… Is that Donnie?!” Jordan’s voice was coming closer.

“Soon, sweetheart, I promise!” Donnie said, adding: “I love you!”

“I love you too!” Jon whispered and Donnie had to close his eyes for a second, because Jon sounded so miserable.

“Donnie, don’t worry about a thing”, Jordan said, raising his voice to make sure Donnie heard him, “we’re all on your side, ok? All of us!”

Donnie hung up the phone, his hand trembling. That had been more painful, and emotional, than he had anticipated. Maybe it hadn’t been the best of ideas, but he did feel a whole lot better now. And before he knew what he was doing, before he could find the strength to stop himself, he picked up the phone again, calling Danny’s number.

“Wood here!”

“Hey, partner!”

He heard Danny gasp.

“Shit!”

“This a good time?”

“Gimme a second…” He heard Danny walk into a room and shut the door. “Alright, we’re good! Where the hell have you been? Where are you?”

“A really bad part of town, so I can’t talk long!

“Donnie… Harley…”

Donnie sighed. Yeah, about that…

“I know!”

“Did you kill him?”

“You really have to ask? I thought you knew me better than that!”

“Tell me the truth, Donnie!”

“He tried to kill Jon!” Donnie wasn’t even aware that he was raising his voice. “I would kill him a thousand times over, if I thought it would change anything. The man was a sick son of a bitch, Danny, he hurt Jon for almost two years! You saw his face. You don’t think the man who did that to one of your best friends deserve to die?”

“God damn it, Donnie, did you kill Harley?!” Danny was shouting at him now.

“NO!” Donnie shouted back. “And frankly, I’m appalled that you of all people would even think that!”

“If you didn’t do it, then why stay hidden? If you’re innocent, you can just come back in, right?”

“Yeah, how’s that gonna look? You said it yourself… I love Jon! We love each other! There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him! With Harley dead… Who do you think will be at the top of the suspects list?”

“Your record speaks for itself, dude, you’re one of the best cops they have. They might give you the benefit of the doubt… If you just come back!”

“I will! As soon as I find out who murdered Harley!”

“Look, Harley’s funeral is next week; I know it would mean a lot to Jon… to all of us, if you could be there. I know how you felt about Harley, and I feel the same way, but don’t do it for him, do it for Jon! Please?”

Donnie didn’t say anything. He really wanted to be there for Jon, because he knew that it was going to be a really tough day. But he really had to think about it, though. He wasn’t done yet! He still had things to do, and people to find.

“I’ll think about it! Thanks, Danny!”

“Anytime, partner! Stay safe!”

Donnie hung up the phone.


	7. Chapter 7

Donnie kept his head down as he crossed the street. This was a bad part of town and as a cop, walking around without a back-up was insanely stupid. But Donnie wasn’t a cop right now. And he wasn’t stupid.

Ok, yeah, going to the gym, kicking down the door to Harley’s office and tell him that he was gonna pay for what he did to Jon… might have been a bit stupid, now that he thought about it. Dragging him away and beating him up wasn’t stupid, though. That fucker deserved everything he got and more. He hadn’t done a lot of thinking when he left the hospital, apart from ‘I’m gonna kill him, I’m gonna kill him, he’s a fucking dead man’ and if he hadn’t stopped when he did, he might have actually gone thought with that initial thought. But Jon’s voice in his head, pleading with him, had slowed him down, and on his mother’s grave, Harley had been alive when he left.

And yeah, leaving Harley without calling the cops to finally have the bastard behind bars… might also have been a bit stupid, but he hadn’t thinking straight, every bone in his body had been aching for the man’s blood, and if he had not left when he did, then he would have finished the job. He had found his way to the nearest bar and just stayed there, trying to calm himself down. He was just about to call the cops and tell him where to find the little asshole, when he had heard on the news that he had been murdered. Ok, sure, they didn’t mention any names, but the victim was severely beaten, they said, and Donnie knew, the very second he heard it, that they were talking about Harley.

So who had finished the job?

That, right there, was the reason that he was turning a corner and walking into an alley. At the far end of the alleyway, there was a big, black car, hardly noticeable. Donnie walked up to the car and knocked on the window.

The window rolled down and a familiar face looked out.

“Maurice!”

“Please, detective”, the black man said in the voice of someone who had had this exact conversation a million times before, “it’s General! Ok? General!”

“It’s ‘prisoner 24658’ if you’re not cooperating, ‘Maurice’, you know that! How’s business?”

“Thriving! Alright, so what can I do for you, detective? Need I remind you that I have a very busy schedule? I can’t let the girls wander the streets by themselves, it would be total anarchy.”

“I can imagine! Look, Morrie, I need a favor! No questions asked!”

“I see? Is this official police business, detective? Is that why you are sneaking around the way you are?”

“No, this is personal, General, and I need your help! I need your guys to go digging, as much dirt they can find on a Harley Rodriguez. The guy’s been murdered and I need to know who did it!”

“This is a rather big favor, detective. What’s in it for me?”

“A clean record! All charges against you dropped. You do this for me, and I’ll get you off the hook next time you fuck up. Anything you want, General, you have my word.”

“Who is this man, detective, why is he so important to you?”

“Trust me; the world is better off without him! He was a sick son of a bitch and he tried to kill his own husband, but he should have been tried and convicted in a court of law. Someone didn’t want him to talk. I want to know who. Can you do it?”

The window rolled up again and Donnie waited, somewhat impatiently, while they talked in the car. He wasn’t sure how many there were in the vehicle, but he guessed either three or four. This was a really bad idea, and he was gonna take a lot of heat for promising the General a clean slate, but this was more important to him than his job. This was Jon!

He would walk through fire for that man!

The window rolled down again.

“Well?”

“You are in luck, detective, I’m feeling very congenial tonight. You’ve got yourself a deal!”

They shook hands and Donnie couldn’t even hide the sigh of relief.

“Thank you, General!”

“I’ll get my people on this right away, how soon do you need the results?”

“As soon as possible! Thank you, Morrie, I owe you one!”

“Yes, you do, detective! And don’t you forget it!”

The window rolled up again, and Donnie took it as his cue to leave. He felt as though he could breathe a little bit easier.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

The day of Harley’s funeral was sunny and warm, as if Mother Nature wanted to show her support for the grieving husband turned widower, but to Jon Knight, it might as well have been raining cats and dogs. It was his first day out of the hospital and he had, very adamantly, fought against his brother’s suggestion about a wheelchair, but now, he was starting to wonder if maybe that hadn’t been a good idea, after all. He felt like a hypocrite, standing in church, looking solemn and sad, greeting friends and family, nodding when they offered their condolences, all the while wondering what these good people would say, what they would think if Jon told them the truth about their friend and colleague.

Part of him really was sad! His husband was definitely gone this time. He had known for several months that he was gone, that the man he married was nowhere to be found, but now, he knew with absolute certainty, that he was never coming back.

And another part of him… a rather big part of him, to be honest… was relieved that Harley was gone, glad, even. He was finally free! Sure, he wished it could have ended differently, but there was nothing he could do about that now.

He was so wrapped up in his own head, that he didn’t notice Danny approach him, until the man was right by his side.

“Jonny…”

“Huh? Oh, hey, Dan!”

“We’ve got a problem! Come with me!”

Jon, his forehead wrinkled in confusion, knew better than to argue with someone like Danny Wood. Leaning on his friend for support, Jon went outside, only to find that his brother and Joe were waiting for them.

“Byers knows about Donnie!” Danny said, wasting no time in letting them know what was going on.

“What?!”

“Oh, my god!”

“What happened?”

“Security camera in Harley’s office! They’ve got clear footage of Donnie barging in, waving his gun around, saying that he was going to kill Harley for what he had done…”

“No… No…”

“Holy shit, they have the murder on camera?” Jordan blurted out, earning himself an ice cold stare from his older brother.

“Not the actual murder, but… Donnie beats him up pretty good and then drags Harley out of the office! Nobody at the gym’s talking, though. I’m getting a feeling that they might know more than us about what happened, but no one is saying anything.”

“But he’s not guilty!” Jon pointed out, sounding calmer than he actually felt. “He didn’t do it!”

“Jon…” Jordan started to say, and was interrupted by Danny.

“That’s not the point right now! The point is that Byers is here!”

“At the funeral?”

“So?” Joe asked. “If he thinks that either one of us is going to tell him where Donnie is…”

“Even if we did know, which we don’t…”

“I told Donnie to come here today!” Danny admitted, looking down at the ground. He heard the gasps from the others and was almost afraid to look up.

“You did what?!” Jordan sounded outraged and Danny felt like he had to explain himself. Looking up, he spoke only to Jon.

“I did it for you, Jon, I figured you would want him to be with you today… Now, I’m afraid that if he shows up…”

“Call him!” Joe demanded. “Tell him to stay away!”

“Danny, you’re sending your best friend to prison!”

“I’ve tried! I left hundreds of messages, telling him to stay away. Whatever you might think of me, Jordan, Donnie is my best friend, and I love him like he’s my brother! If he is innocent…”

“IF he is innocent?” Jon repeated, the icy stare turning from Jordan to Danny, but before either one of them could finish, there was a timid voice behind them.

“Excuse me, Mr Knight?” Father Collins cleared his throat a bit. “We’re ready to begin!”

“Thank you, Father! –J…”

“I’ll keep a lookout!” Jordan promised. “Don’t worry, Jon, we’ll keep him away!”

“Yeah, I think it might be a little too late for that!” Joe pointed out in a dry voice.

“Why?”

“Look over there!”

They all looked. Not twenty feet away, Donnie was walking towards them. Jon decided right then and there that no one, be it man, woman or child, was ever going to take that man away from him. Not paying attention to Father Collins, or his brother’s warning about where they were, or even the fact that detective Byers was keeping his watchful eyes on him, Jon started walking towards Donnie, not stopping until they were in each other’s arms and Donnie’s lips were pressed against his own. Somewhere close by, someone said something, but neither Jon nor Donnie cared enough to listen.

“You can’t stay here!” Jon whispered, his arms still around Donnie. It wasn’t until now that he felt the warmth of the sun and heard the birds singing in the trees.

“I know, Danny called me! It’s ok, baby, I’ve got nothing to hide! I just couldn’t let you go through this day alone. They’ve got nothing on me! Worst case scenario; they book me for assault. My record and Harley’s abusive behavior speaks for itself. I’ll be out in time for dinner! Don’t worry about me, sweetheart, I know what I’m doing! You trust me, don’t you?”

Jon answered without thinking. There was no need for thinking. He knew the answer to that one!

“With my life!”

“Then trust me on this: Everything is going to be alright! You’re mine, Jon, like you’ve always been!”

Jon said nothing, he just rested his forehead on Donnie’s shoulder, hoping and wishing that this day would just end, that this nightmare would be over, that none of this ever happened, that he’d never met Harley in the first place…

“Everything ok, Ddub?” Jordan’s voice was saying and Jon heard steps coming closer.

“Yeah, I’m good, thanks, Jordan!”

“No”, Jordan said, his voice low and serious, “thank you, for… everything you’ve done for my brother!”

Good lord, Jordan was actually thanking Donnie for killing Harley! Jon felt his face burn. Sure, he was glad that he was free, he never had to be afraid again, not with Donnie by his side, but there had been a time, when Harley had been close to perfect. That funny, kind, gorgeous man that Jon fell in love with… That part had been real! They had loved each other once! Not all memories were of the bad kind, there were good ones, too.

And Jordan was thanking the man he thought had murdered Harley! Jon felt sick. He dropped his arms, taking a step back, looking at the two men he loved the most in this world.

“I have to go bury my husband!” he said and walked away, not giving them a chance to reply.

Jordan made a move to follow his brother, but Donnie stopped him.

“Let him go, J! This is a tough day for him!”

“Tough? We should be fucking celeb…” He looked around, and lowered his voice: “We should be celebrating that the fucker is dead, that he can’t hurt Jon anymore! My brother is finally free, thanks to you! I will never forget what you did, Donnie!”

“I didn’t do it, Jordan!” Donnie pointed out.

“No, of course not!” Jordan agreed, his face neutral. “Come on; let’s go show Jon our love and support!” And with that, he left Donnie and walked back to the church.

Donnie just sighed and followed him. Before going in, he saw Byers standing, right next to the big church doors, arms across his chest, like a bouncer, staring at him. Donnie nodded curtly and went inside. He thought about sitting as far back as possible, but decided that since he was there for Jon, he should be close to Jon. He walked down the aisle to the front row, where Jon was sitting with Harley’s family. As soon as Jon noticed him, he moved over, making room for Donnie right next to him. Not even bothering with an explanation to Harley’s family, Donnie sat down beside Jon, who immediately took his hand in his good one. Donnie gave the trembling hand a light squeeze, as if to tell Jon that everything was alright, and he could literally see the effect it had on the other man. Jon took a deep breath and allowed his whole body to relax.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Jon was still holding on to Donnie after the funeral was over, not entirely certain that he would be able to hold himself upright if he were to let go. He still felt a little queasy. It was hard to decide which foot to stand on, which memories to rely on. The good ones were plenty, there was no denying that, but living with a controlling, abusive husband for eighteen months didn’t exactly do wonders for the self-esteem. As they walked over to Joe and Danny, Donnie seemed to sense Jon’s internal conflict and he gently squeezed Jon’s hand again, giving him a reassuring smile as their eyes met.

“Come on, Danny, just tell me!” Joe was practically begging and Danny gave him a big grin.

“Alright, alright! Geez, you’re like a kid on Christmas!”

“What’s going on?” Donnie asked as they got closer. Danny sighed dramatically.

“Joe wanted me to look up this girl that he has a crush on…” he held up a thin folder that made Joe’s incredibly blue eyes become ten times bigger, a feat that no one would have thought possible.

“Danny, I swear…”

“Alright, alright! Ms Nyia Williams… 28 years old… Six years younger than you, Joey Joe... she’s got a younger brother and an older sister… teaches special needs children… went to college in…”

“Danny!”

“Keep your panties on, Joey Joe! Let’s see, where was I? Oh, yes… Ms Nyia loves music, concerts, movies, the beach, rollercoaster, the zoo and staying at 5 star hotels. Good news, Joe, this woman is clean as a whistle, never even had a speeding ticket.”

“Let me see…” Donnie snatched the folder from Danny to see if there were any pictures, and then made a low whistle. “Damn, dude, she’s beautiful! She deserves better than you, though!”

“Shut up!” Jon said with a crooked grin, took the folder from Donnie and handed it to Joe, without looking inside. “What are you going to tell this girl about what you do for a living, Joe?”

“I’ll tell her the truth! If she asks, I tell her that I’m an actor!”

“Yes, but what kind of actor? She’s gonna want to see some of your movies, dude!”

“Guys! Relax, ok? I haven’t even been on a date with this woman and you’re already worried about if she’s gonna dump me when she finds out that I’m a porn star?”

“We just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all!” Donnie said.

“I know that, and I appreciate it, guys, I really do, but I have a really good feeling about this one!”

“Whom you saw, and spoke to for two minutes in line to get some coffee.” Danny pointed out.

“What? You don’t believe in love at first sight? –Jon, back me up here!”

Jon shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t think I’m the best judge of character, when it comes to that particular department, little man!” he said. He was smiling, but his eyes were dark, and Donnie immediately put his arm around Jon’s shoulders and pulled him close for a soft kiss on his cheek.

“I was talking about you and Donnie!” Joe pointed out, putting some of the light back in Jon’s eyes. “You can’t tell me that it wasn’t love at first sight when you guys met.”

“We were eight!” Donnie pointed out.

“Yeah, so?”

That actually got them all laughing. For a moment, they had all forgotten where they were and what day it was. They just enjoyed each other’s company and the beautiful weather.

Which, of course, was when Byers showed up.

“Hey, guys!”

“Byers!” Donnie was still smiling. “I’m surprised to see you; don’t you have some bad guys to catch?”

No matter how badly he tried to hide it, Joe gasped as he heard Donnie. Byers, ever vigilant, picked up on it instantly.

“Well, that’s why I’m here!” he said. “I think we’re closing in on a vicious killer at the moment!”

Donnie exchanged looked with his three friends, seeing the love and support and worry in all their faces. And then, he looked back at Byers.

“Good, that’s really good! You think maybe I can get a ride with you back to the precinct, see what you’ve got so far?”

“Eh… Donnie, we still have lots to talk about…” Danny said, almost desperately, but Donnie shook his head. He had to do this. He had to tell Byers what he knew, because they were never gonna catch the real killer if they thought that Donnie was the Prime Suspect.

“Absolutely!” Byers said, barely able to contain his glee. “How about right now?”

“Sure! Just give me a minute…” Taking Jon’s hand again, he walked away from the others. He could literally feel the tremors going through Jon’s body.

“You are not going with him… Are you?” Jon whispered, even before they were out of earshot. Donnie stopped and faced his most beloved friend in this universe.

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart! I promise! Trust me?”

“Donnie, please…”

“I’ll be back before you know it! Have a little faith in your magnificent boyfriend’s innocence, alright?”

“It’s not that I don’t have…”

And then, he froze. Donnie watched as Jon’s eyes became so huge, they were almost as big as Joe’s. Ok, so saying something like that on a funeral wasn’t maybe the best, or the brightest of ideas, especially Harley’s funeral, but Jon deserved some joy in his life. He deserved all the happiness in the world. And this was a good place to start.

“’Boyfriend’?” Jon repeated, trying to look suspicious, but failing miserably, thanks to the stars in his eyes. Donnie gave him a grin.

“’Magnificent’ boyfriend!” he corrected, taking a step closer. “I told you… You’re mine! Like you’ve always been!”

“Just… be careful! Please? I don’t want to lose you, not now!”

“I’m not going anywhere! I love you, Jon!”

Jon nodded, slowly, understanding what had to be done.

“I love you too!”

Not giving a flying fuck about Byers, or the mourners standing around, Donnie closed the distance between them, giving Jon a gentle kiss on the lips. And then, stepping back, he looked over at Byers, who was standing close by, doing a piss-poor job of hiding his surprise.

“Alright, Byers, let’s go!”

He gave Jon’s hand one last reassuring squeeze before he walked over to Byers and they started walking towards the car.

“So, tell me, what have you got so far?”

Jon walked back to Danny and Joe, putting on a brave face for his friends.

“He’ll be fine, Jon, you know Donnie!”

Jon took a deep breath and nodded. Yeah, he did know Donnie. He could tell that Joe was practically bouncing where he stood, eager to find his ladylove and Jon didn’t have the heart to stop him.

“Look, Joe, why don’t you go, buy some flowers and visit your new friend?”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked, even though he was already looking through his pockets for the keys to his car. Jon gave him a nod and Joe tried really hard to make it look like he wasn’t itching to run as fast as he could. Jon turned to Danny, his face serious.

“Dan, isn’t it about time you went back to work?”

Meaning: ‘Please, go to the police station and keep an eye on our mutual friend!’ Danny, who was a very clever man, understood the hidden meaning, and said:

“Yeah, I think so! I’ll give you a call later, ok?”

He gave Jon a hug and left. Jon stood, all by himself, and took some deep breaths. Not really wanting to be with anyone at the moment, he walked away a bit, head filled with thoughts and questions, and he found himself doing something he hadn’t done since he was a   
little boy; he prayed! As hard and as fiercely as he could, he prayed that Donnie would be safe.

“You ok, bro?”

He looked up and saw Jordan approaching him. Jon sighed.

“I don’t know! Christ, J… Donnie went with Byers to the police station!”

“He what?!”

“Danny went after to keep an eye on him. Joe left to buy some flowers for his ladylove…”

“And you want to be alone for a while?”

Jon managed a small smile at his younger brother, the one in all his family that he had always been closest to.

“I could use some company!” he said and Jordan’s face brightened considerably.

“Well, that’s what I’m here for, big brother!”

Together, they walked in the sunlight, and talked about everything, just like they used to do. Jordan even commented on it, saying:

“You know, I miss this! You and me, talking…”

“Yeah, I know!” Jon agreed, hoping that Jordan wouldn’t ask the question that he already knew was going to be asked.

“I mean; it’s been ages! We haven’t had a proper conversation in…” And then he remembered just how long ago it was, and fell silent. Jon took pity on his brother.

“Almost eighteen months!” He took a deep breath and added: “Which means we have a LOT of catching up to do! How are things at work?”

Jordan smiled at him and they continued walking and talking.


	8. Chapter 8

Donnie waited until they were both sitting in the car.

“So tell me! Any leads on who killed Harley?”

Byers gave him a look, but if he had any suspicions, he didn’t say a word about it.

“Well, we had this theory that it might be drug-related, but I just thought of another one.”

“Harley might’ve been a lot of things, but he wasn’t into drugs!” Donnie said, fighting to keep the bile down just from mentioning Harley’s name.

“I see! Well, it’s a good thing you came back, because we could sure use your… expertise in this matter. You seem to know a lot about the victim.”

“More than I would like to!” Donnie muttered, more to himself than anyone else, but Byers still picked up on it.

“I was surprised when you went M.I.A all of a sudden!” he said. “Anything… happen that you had to deal with?”

“I’d been on my feet for two straight days, going from the interrogation to the hospital because one of my best friends was almost beaten to death, so yeah, I needed a few hours rest. That’s not illegal, is it?”

“No! Murdering someone in cold blood is illegal!” There was a tense moment of silence and then, he went on: “Which brings me to my latest theory, which is the more probable one.”

“And that is?”

“A jealous lover!”

“You’re thinking that this was a crime of passion? Harley sleeping around… Wouldn’t surprise me one bit! … The guy gets jealous and beats Harley to death! ‘If I can’t have you, no one will!’ That works!”

“Or someone who wanted the guy’s husband all to himself, and killed Harley to get rid of the competition.”

Donnie played along, wanting to see just how far Byers would take this.

“Fair enough! Suspects?”

“Well, that’s where you come in, Donnie!”

“Oh?” Donnie was really good at playing innocent.

“Yeah, you know the guy, you must know if he has a… secret lover… maybe some old boyfriend who’s still pining for him… Anything you can think of would really help out the investigation.”

“Not sure what to tell you, Byers… Jonny doesn’t have any secret lovers, though, he’s the faithful type. But any old boyfriends… I can’t think of anyone that would do this to him… Why would an old boyfriend first beat him senseless and send him to the hospital and then murder Harley? I’ll think about it, though, see if I can remember that far back… What about a murder weapon?”

“The guy was beaten to death, Donnie, all we need now is a DNA-match… and a confession would be nice, of course…”

“Yeah, well, you can’t have everything!” Donnie gave him a grin and he could tell, by the expression on the other man’s face, that grinning was probably not a smart thing to do.

“Obviously!” Byers said through clenched teeth as he pulled into the garage. “It’s just formalities, really, we’ve got fingerprints and we’ve got both a death threat and assault caught on tape, so…”

“Seems like an ‘open and shut’-case!” Donnie suggested as they got out of the car and walked together towards the elevator. “You sure you’ve got the right guy? I wouldn’t want you making a mistake, just because you failed to notice what was right in front of you the whole time.”

“Oh, I know what’s right in front of me, Donnie! You know, I have a few close friends, myself, I even have what some might call a best friend, but… I gotta say, whatever’s going on between you and Mr Knight, it sure as hell looked a lot like more than just friendship…”

This was starting to get boring. Donnie sighed and looked up to see how many floors there were left before the elevator would stop. Might as well put an end to this before it got ugly. Byers was a good cop, it wouldn’t be nice to make him look like a fool once he realized that he was barking up the wrong tree.

“Look, if you got something to say, Byers, just say it, alright? You gonna read me my rights? Because it sounds to me like I’m suddenly your number one suspect.”

“You have to admit, the odds are not in your favor, and your relationship with Mr Knight makes me a bit suspicious about whether or not you might be hiding something from me.”

“Seriously, Byers, you don’t think this all just a little bit convenient?

“I’ll tell you what I do think! I think you and Mr Knight are lovers, I think you have been for quite some time… I think you plotted to have his husband ‘conveniently’ murdered so that you could be together. I think you planned the whole thing together… I think you murdered Harley Rodriguez while his husband was in hospital, and ‘conveniently’ take a few days well deserved “rest” before showing up on the guy’s funeral to show your support for your ‘best friend’ How am I doing so far?”

“Honestly? You are so out of line that it’s not even funny anymore.” Donnie took a deep breath. “Let me tell you something about Jon Knight; he is the most honest man I have even met. He stayed true to that abusive asshole, despite everything. He was loyal and faithful for eighteen months, no matter what that sick son of a bitch did to him. This is a guy who wouldn’t even hurt a fly, and you’re talking about accusing him of accessory to a fucking murder?!”

Byers stared at him as the elevator came to a halt and the door opened.

“I really don’t think you should say anymore without a lawyer present!”

He probably had a point, but Donnie was getting worked up and he didn’t really know how to stop himself.

“If you had any sense what so ever, you would focus your energy on crimes that actually needs solving and forget about that sick fuck Harley! He was a twisted son of a bitch that used Jon as a fucking punching bag. For eighteen months! How the fuck do you think Jon ended up in hospital in the first place? Because that fucking asshole tried to kill him! And Jon never said a word, not to me, not to anyone. If he had, Harley would be in jail, getting gang-raped by now and we wouldn’t be standing here, having this conversation, because none of this would have fucking happened!”

Byers took it in for a few moments, giving Donnie a few seconds to realize that he might have just painted himself into a corner.

“So you didn’t know! Your best friend in the whole world and he never told you. And then he ends up in hospital, almost beaten to death… That would make any friend cry out for vengeance, don’t you think? So what happened? Jon told you the truth, you head out to extract some vengeance, Harley ends up dead, Jon is free and safe from his abusive husband and all is right with the world.”

“You’ve got the wrong guy, Byers! I may have wanted the guy dead, but I didn’t do it! I’m a cop, for crying out loud, you honestly think I would do something like that? I would have made sure the guy ended up among the sex offenders, getting passed around like a dirty needle, which is exactly what he deserved. Kill him? I wanted him to suffer! He beat up my best friend, he almost killed his own husband… No, I would want him to feel every second of pain that he put Jon through! I didn’t kill him, Byers! But I would gladly assist you in finding out who did!”

“Donnie, you know we have you on camera, threatening to kill the guy. There’s footage of you slamming him up against a wall and crushing his nose.”

“Yeah, I beat the living crap out of him, I know, but on my honor as a police officer, he was alive when I left. If you have footage of me kicking his ass, then I’m sure you have footage of me leaving him alive. All you’ve got on me is assault, nothing else. My hands are clean, Byers! I didn’t kill Harley!”

“Well, if you didn’t, then who did?”

“That’s what I want to know, too!” a voice said, behind them and Danny walked up to them, breath slightly off, as if he had been running up a lot of stairs. “If you have a minute or two, Byers, I have something to discuss with you. -You don’t mind, do you, D?”

Donnie looked from Byers to Danny and then back to Byers.

“I’ll be at my desk!” he said, turned and walked away, trying to get his breathing in check.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Joe wasn’t really nervous as he walked through the halls with a huge bouquet of dark red roses in front of him. It was just that his heart happened to do a really loud thumping noise and his feet tried really hard not to move in sync with that noise, because it was a really fast, erratic rhythm, and he didn’t want to look like a fool walking funny.

Taking a deep breath, he asked the first person he could find where he could find his lovely lady Nyia. After being pointed in the right direction, Joe took a deep, cleansing breath and hoped that she wouldn’t think that he was some kind of idiot. What the hell was he thinking; she probably didn’t even remember him! How could she, they met for two minutes and he ditched her like a cheap date to catch up with Danny. No, this was stupid, he should just turn around and leave. He should just walk away from the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and forget about the way her eyes had sparkled when she had looked at him.

And then, suddenly, he was standing outside her door and there was no turning back. Maybe if he just walked right in… No, better to knock first! Barging in would make him look like some crazy stalker and oh, my god, what if she thought he was some kind of crazy stalker? He took another deep breath to calm himself and caught a whiff of the wonderful roses he held. How would she react to the flowers? He would never know, unless he actually knocked on the door. Jesus, why was he acting like this, what was it about this woman that made him feel like a schoolboy? Whatever it was, it was both terrifying and exiting at the same time. Was this what Jordan felt when he first met his wife? What about Danny? Was this how Donnie felt about Jon? Only one way to find out!

He knocked on the door.

“Come in!”

One more deep breath, and then he opened the door. The very second that he saw her, time seemed to slow down and everything appeared to be moving in slow motion. He saw her move her head, so slowly, and turn those incredible eyes at him and then… she smiled. Joe’s heart stopped thumping and started fluttering, as if hundreds of birds were trapped in his chest and they were all flapping their wings as they tried to get out.

She was an angel!

“It’s you!” she said, getting up from behind her desk and Joe felt his hands go sweaty. She remembered him! Holy shit, she actually remembered him. Feeling as flustered as a teenager, he stretched out his arms, showing her the flowers.

“What’s this?” she asked as she came closer, still moving in that movie-like slow motion.

“It’s an apology! I shouldn’t have run off the way I did, it was rude and un-gentlemanlike and I wanted to say that I was sorry…” His confidence now returned, thanks to her sweet smile, he added, with his most charming smile: “…And maybe ask you out to dinner!”

She took the flowers and looked at them. Her beautiful eyes were shining. Did that mean that he was forgiven?

“Apology accepted… Joe!”

He looked up and their eyes met. Joe wasn’t sure if he was standing up anymore, because everything around him had turned slightly blurred. She remembered his name!

“But I am sorry, I already have dinner plans tonight and…”

“Oh, that’s ok, any day works for me! How about tomorrow? Friday? Saturday?”

She smiled at him and her eyes sparkled even more.

“I’m free Saturday!” she said and Joe could barely believe his luck. Was it possible that the most beautiful angel to ever walk this earth just agreed to go on a date with him?!

“Great! It’s a date! Where should I pick you up?”

“Slow down, tiger… Here!”

She turned and walked back to her desk, just as someone came in, right behind Joe.

“Nyia, do you have… Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you had…”

Joe had not even thought about it, it was just instinct. He turned around to smile at the woman who had just arrived… and he could tell the exact moment when she recognized him. Her face turned bright red and she almost dropped the stack of papers she was holding. She was probably going to end that sentence with the word ‘company’, but she finished with:

“…snakes!”

Nyia looked up from her desk, looking rather befuddled.

“What?!” she asked and Joe decided to take pity on the poor girl, giving her a reassuring smile.

“I’m Joey!”

“Yeah… You are, aren’t you?” she whispered and clutched the stack of papers to her chest. He saw her eyes begin to move down towards his crotch and decided that it was time to make his exit. Like a true angel, Nyia showed up beside him, giving him a piece of paper with an address and a phone number.

“Give me a call!” she said, smiling at him and Joe suddenly felt twenty feet tall. Nodding, he left the classroom, and could tell that the other woman was watching him leave. Normally, that would have made him smile, it always pleased him to know that people were watching his movies, but he had been completely unprepared for it at the school where Nyia worked. He was proud of his work, he just did not want someone as sweet and radiant as Ms Nyia to know about what he did for a living, at least not so soon, and not from people she worked with. He should be the one to tell her, not some horny little…

“Excuse me! A voice said, just as he was getting out into the fresh air. He turned and saw the same woman, who looked like she really couldn’t believe she was actually doing this. Face red with embarrassment, she looked around, as if making sure that no one saw her, and then she whispered:

“You’re him, aren’t you?”

It wasn’t like he was going to deny it. He liked what he was doing and the money he made didn’t hurt either. So, he nodded and she took a deep breath.

“Could you… just say it? Just once? Like… like you do in your… in your movies?”

The downside of having a catchphrase; after a while, it was all they wanted to hear from you, they all wanted you to say it, over and over. But it was also kind of fun; it was like signing an autograph, so he leaned in close, looked deep into her eyes as he slipped into his porn star-persona and said, his voice breathy and dripping with promises of sex:

“You want the Anaconda, baby?”

She closed her eyes for a moment and he could hear her sigh in barely disguised ecstasy. When she opened her eyes again, he was already on his way to his car. In his pocket was the most revered treasure of all time… the address and phone number to the most beautiful woman in the world. And she had agreed to a date! With him!

\--------------------------------------------

Jordan was the first to notice that Jon needed a break from the world around him. He had promised himself, that first night at the hospital, sitting in that waiting room, that he would never let his brother out of his sight, ever again.

And right now, Jon needed to be rescued. People had been on him all day, literally crowding him, asking him all sorts of questions that Jordan had a feeling his brother did not want to answer. Donnie’s very public display of affection had not made things any better. Harley’s family and friends had been whispering accusations about Jon and Donnie for hours now and Jordan was sick of it. He had heard Harley’s brother tell his wife that Donnie was the prime suspect in Harley’s murder. Jordan had wanted to hit the guy right in the face for that, but despite his anger, he was secretly worried. It seemed like everyone at the funeral suspected Donnie. That, in itself, was bad. But for Jordan, who knew the truth, it was even worse. But if it was bad for him, knowing that one of his best friends had killed a man in cold blood, it was probably twenty times worse for Jon.

It was time to take care of his big brother. He looked around and spotted Kevin, sitting by the bar. He had apparently also noticed Jon’s discomfort, because he looked disapprovingly at the vultures surrounding his friend. As if he knew that he was being watched, Kevin turned his head and looked at Jordan. They didn’t speak, Jordan just made a tiny movement with his eyes towards Jon and Kevin gave a barely noticeable nod. He was in!

Jordan started walking towards his brother.

“Hey, Jon, you busy?” he asked, and in the corner of his eye, he saw Kevin get up from his chair, seemingly just to stretch his legs a bit.

The look in Jon’s eyes was desperately pleading and Jordan raised an eyebrow to indicate that he was there to assist.

It seemed like him showing up was the very thing needed for the surrounding relatives to focus their attention on something that wasn’t Jon or his relationship with the man who killed his husband.

“Jordan, just the person I was looking for!” One of the nosy vultures exclaimed when he showed up. Jordan gave her one of his friendliest smiles.

“Actually, aunt Liz, I was just coming over to see if I could borrow my brother for a second.”

“Now, now, I don’t want you avoiding the subject anymore, I have tried calling you for weeks!”

“You know, I promised doctor Carter that I would take it easy, so I should probably go home now.”

Jordan opened his mouth, as if to offer Jon a ride, and Kevin took his cue.

“I was heading home anyway, Jon, I could give you a ride.”

Jon breathed a sigh of relief and nodded.

“That would be great, thanks, Kev! –Sorry, J!” The last, he said in a stage whisper to his brother, knowing that he was now essentially leaving Jordan alone with aunt Liz and her endless questions.

“No worries, I’m happy to help! –That ok with you, Jordan?”

Jordan gave them both a smile, pleased that his plan had worked.

“Thanks, Kevin!” he said, and watched as they left together, took a deep breath to mentally prepare himself for a million questions, and turned his biggest, most charming smile towards his aunt.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Alright, Byers”, Danny said as he closed the door behind them, let’s cut the bullshit, we both know that Donnie didn’t kill Harley!”

“We do?”

“This is Donnie we’re talking about! Come on, John, have you ever met a cop as devoted to his job as him?”

“I’m not denying that he’s a good cop, Daniel, he’s a great cop, a great detective, but the evidence…”

“What evidence? All you have on him is assault and honestly, the fucker deserved everything he got, but you know just as well as I do that Donnie is being set up to take the fall for Harley’s murder.”

“Oh, so now it’s a setup? Because I see it differently! I see a man, blinded by rage, willing to do anything to protect the man he loves. I see a man who flipped when his best friend was almost beaten to death by his own husband.”

“Don’t you think it’s all just a little bit convenient? This whole thing stinks of setup!”

“Alright, say you’re right, say Donnie didn’t do it. Who did?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet. I feel like the answer is staring me in the face and I just… can’t see it yet.”

“Or maybe… you can see it, you just don’t want to accept it. Look, I get it, he’s your partner, you’ve worked together for years, you grew up together… That man out there? He’s like a brother to you! Of course you don’t want to accuse him of murder. But sometimes, we have no choice!”

Danny shook his head in disbelief. He didn't Believe that, not for a second.

“No! Not Donnie! He’s not a murderer! And until you have some hard evidence to back up this bullshit story of yours, you can’t charge him with anything.”

“I hope you’re right! I really do, because I hate what I’m doing right now! I’m investigating a fellow cop in a bloody murder case and I hate it! But a man has been murdered, Daniel! I know, he wasn’t a particularly good man, but someone did take his life and that someone needs to be brought to justice.” He grew quiet and Danny could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall, reminding him that time was of the essence. And then, Byers looked up at him, serious. “Find me some evidence, Daniel! Prove me wrong! Because I will charge Donnie with first degree murder!”

Danny nodded grimly. He intended to do just that. Find some hard evidence that Donnie was innocent of murdering Jon’s husband.

He had to be!

\---------------------------------------------------

Jon really was exhausted, physically and mentally. He was worried sick about Donnie, despite his everlasting faith in the man. There had been people whispering about him and Donnie, talking behind his back, asking him about his injuries, about Harley’s murder. They were like reporters, all of them, just looking for a scoop. And now, that he was finally free of them, and out in the fresh air, he realized just how tired he actually was. He felt like he was going to pass out, but Kevin snatched a bottle of water from… somewhere, Jon really didn’t have the energy to ask… and gave him as they walked to the car. Jon drank deeply and felt almost like a human being again.

“Thanks!”

“Sure! You don’t look so good, are you ok?”

“Well… Not really, no! I feel like I could sleep for a whole month.”

Kevin opened the car door for him and Jon sat down, his head spinning. He felt nauseous.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take you back to the hospital?”

“I’m sure, just take me home!”

Kevin gave a salute, and a “Right away, sir” in a horrible British accent, before closing the door. Jon smiled weakly at the obvious attempt to cheer him up. He just wanted to go home and sleep. Fine, it wasn’t technically home, it was Jordan and Reema’s place, but it was where he lived now, until he got back on his feet, so for the moment, that was home.

Kevin looked at him when he sat down in the driver seat.

“You look like hell, Jon, just… close your eyes and rest for a while. I’ll wake you up when we get home.”

Jon nodded. He could close his eyes for a few minutes, just to stop that feeling of nausea. Kevin started the car and Jon leaned his head against the cool window. He took a couple of deep breaths and was out like a light in seconds.

Kevin shook his head sadly. Jon really needed to rest. Coming to the funeral was a stupid idea; the guy was barely out of the hospital!

It was a good thing that Kevin was such a thoughtful friend. He was gonna let Jon rest. For as long as he needed. He could do that now. He was safe now!

Kevin had made sure of that when he killed Harley!


	9. Chapter 9

Donnie sat at his desk, trying not to let his mind wander. He needed to be focused. He needed to be sharp. And he didn’t have to look to know that people he worked with, people he called colleagues, people he called friends, were looking at him, whispering about him, wondering if the rumors were true. Good news travelled fast and bad news even faster. He had no idea how it got out, but it was obvious that all those people whispering about him, they had all heard about him possibly being a primes suspect in a murder case.

Fuck, part of him actually wished that he had killed that sick son of a whore, because at least that way, he would know who did it, he wouldn’t have to wonder about it. Plus, if he had killed Harley, he would have hidden the body somewhere, gotten rid of the evidence, instead of just leaving it out there, like that, for anyone to see and…

He sat up straight.

Harley was left on display, because the killer wanted someone to find the body. This wasn’t murder… It was a gift! Harley was killed as a gift for his abused husband! The killer did this for Jon! Or he knew Jon, knew him well enough to want to save him from Harley.

But Jon hadn’t told anyone about the abuse. Hell, they never would have found out about it, if Jon hadn’t ended up in hospital. He could have died, in that hospital bed, or on the table, and no one would have known the truth.

So how did the killer know about it… unless he had seen it happen!

Donnie grabbed his cell and called Jon. This was important! But there was no answer. It went straight to voicemail. Now, ordinaliry, Donnie would just assume that Jon was asleep or simply did not want to be disturbed, but nothing about this was ordinary. Nothing about Jon was ordinary!

Donnie called Jordan.

“Hey, D, what’s going on, are you ok?”

“J, is your brother with you? I need to ask him something.”

“No, man, he was exhausted! Kevin gave him a ride home, so he’s probably asleep by now. Why, what’s going on? Have they…. Talked to you yet? You would tell me if something was going down, right?”

But Donnie had stopped listening.

Kevin!

He could barely get the name out.

“Kevin?!”

“Yeah! He’s been so good for Jon this past week, making sure he’s ok, talking to him while he was in hospital… You’re lucky my brother loves you, Donnie, or I would have talked Kevin into asking him out.”

“Jordan…”

“I’m kidding, D", Jordan laughed, "Kevin is straight as an arrow, you know that… Although, as I recall, so were you, before my brother got under your skin…”

“I have to call you back, J, just… Get your ass home and make sure that Jon is there, ok? Just to be on the safe side.”

“Donnie, what’s going on?”

“I’ll call you back!”

“Do…”

No sooner had he finished the call when his cell started to buzz.

“Jordan, I told you to get your ass home, ok?!”

“Is this a bad time, detective?”

Donnie froze.

“General!”

“Tell me, do you plan on holding up your end of the bargain?”

“Give me something to go on, Maurice!”

“How about a murderer?”

“What’ve you got?”

“You know, my busy little bees have been all over the place, and it may or may not have gotten a bit… messy, I need your word that you will honor the deal we made!”

Donnie took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“I need to catch this guy, General! Please!”

“Kevin Richardson!” Maurice said and Donnie’s heart stopped.

“Please, tell me that you have more for me than just a name!”

“How about a motive? Or a murder weapon? Or the fact that Mr. Richardson was seen drugging Mr. Knight and help him into a car, a car, I might add, that was last seen crossing the state line about… twenty minutes ago. Is that sufficient enough for you, detective?”

“Which way?”

“Look, detective, I have…”

“WHERE IS HE?!”

“He’s heading for the Canadian border!”

“Thank you!”

“We’ll be in touch, detective!”

Donnie didn’t notice, or even care, that a mob leader had essentially hung up on him, he grabbed his gun.

“Danny!” he called, loud enough to make everyone turn their heads and stare. Danny, recognizing the tone of voice in his partner, jerked the door open and came towards him.

“What?”

“Kevin!” Donnie said in a low, shaking voice.

“What are you…”

“It’s Kevin! He’s got Jon!” Donnie gave no further explanation; he pushed Danny aside and walked as fast as he could without actually running. Danny, sending a quick look over at Byers, who was watching them from the interrogation room, went with him, calling after him as they went down the stairs to the garage.

“D? Hey, wait up, what are you talking about?”

Donnie yanked the door open and made a beeline for the nearest car. Danny, not one to be left behind, did not leave his side.

“Kevin killed Harley!” Donnie finally said as he unlocked the car.

Danny blinked. And blinked again.

“Kevin? What Kevin? Our Kevin? Kevin Richardson-Kevin?" And when Donnie didn't reply, Danny got in the car and almost slammed the door shut. "I don’t understand", he said, "why would he do something like that? Is he using again?”

“For Jon! Obviously! To save him from Harley!”

“Well, he would have both opportunity and motive, working at the gym…”

“A job he wouldn’t even have if it hadn’t been for Jon vouching for him. This is Kevin’s way of saying ‘thank you for saving my life’ and he wants Jon to know what he did.” It all made sense to Donnie now, and he felt like kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. The answer really had been staring him right in the face this whole time. He put the key in the ignition, but didn't start the car. His mind would not stop spinning.

“Where’s Jon?”

“J said that Kevin was giving him a ride home.”

“Ok, but… He’s not gonna hurt Jon, is he? I mean… We know that much! He wouldn’t go through all this just to hurt him.”

“No… No, he would never do that. Think about it; Harley was laid out on display, he was presented as a gift. Kevin wanted to help Jon, so he removed the threat against him.”

“Christ, Donnie…. And let you take the fall… He had to have known that you would become a suspect, right?”

“I don’t think that’s the case here. Jon saved Kevin’s life; Kevin is just returning the favor.”

“Wait a minute, you said… Where is he now?”

“They crossed the line about half an hour ago. He’s heading for Canada!”

“How do you know all this?”

“I… I made a deal with the General!”

“You made… a deal…”

“I was desperate! I was minutes away from being wanted for murdering a guy that, apparently, everyone knew I had a problem with. I just wanted to know that Jon was safe, that whoever snuffed out that little creep wouldn’t come for him next. Also, a small part of me wanted to buy the guy a bottle of the finest whiskey around…”

“Come on, D!”

“I said a small part! I’m a cop, first and foremost, the guy has to be brought to justice, we both know that… But let’s be honest here, Dan, he did the world a favor, and he probably saved Jon’s life!”

“Yeah, I know that, ok? I know! I’m not saying Harley wasn’t a scumsucking fuckpuppet, but he should have been arrested and brought to trial for what he did. He didn’t deserve this.”

Donnie chose to be silent. He turned the key.

“So what are you gonna do about Kevin?”

“I don’t know!”

“Well, what are you gonna do about Maurice?”

“Yeah, I don’t know that, either!” Donnie confessed with a sigh.

“Damn it, Donnie…”

“Yeah, I know… I know…”

\------------------------------------------------------------

Jon was only vaguely aware that the car stopped. He thought he heard Kevin talk to him, but he was too tired to reply back. The car door opened and Jon felt cold, fresh air on his face. He briefly opened his eyes, but squeezed them shut again, when the bright sun stung them.

He was helped out of the car and he leaned heavily on his friend as they walked to the house.

“I am taking you to bed!” he heard Kevin’s voice say, somewhere nearby, and he tried to joke:

“I know you find me irresistible, Kev, but I’m a mar…”

And then, he realized that he wasn’t. Not anymore!

“No, you’re not!” Kevin’s voice said softly. “You’re free now, he can’t hurt you anymore.”

Jon nodded, even though the words sounded a bit peculiar. He was too exhausted to care, though. He would ask Kevin about it when he felt better.

“Come on, lie down! You need to rest!”

Jon wasn’t about to argue with that. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was asleep.

Kevin stayed for a few minutes, watching him, before he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Jordan stared at his wife. He had tried calling his brother six times during the ride home, only to get voicemail and was getting seriously agitated.

“What do you mean ‘he’s not here’? Where is he? Kevin drove him back here almost…” He checked his watch. “…an hour ago!”

“Baby, I’m sorry, he’s not here. Maybe Kevin took him back to the hospital, have you tried calling doc Cartier?”

Jordan was already dialing a number.

“Hey, Danny, it’s J, do you… ” He stared at his phone. “Ok, he just hung up on me!”

“They’re probably busy, baby, you know the rules. Look, Jon is fine, he’s with Kevin, remember? He would do anything for Jon, we know that!”

“I know, but it’s not like Jon to turn his phone off, especially when he’s anxious about Donnie and…”

He stopped. Reema’s words suddenly flashed before his eyes. No….? It couldn’t be? Why would…

“Oh, my god!”

“What is it?”

“I was so wrong! I was so wrong, thinking… I thought Donnie was guilty!

“What?!

“Well, it made sense at the time, and… and I was so wrong, I don’t know why I didn’t see it… Donnie didn’t kill Harley… Kevin did!”

“You’re not serious?!”

“Why not?”

“Kevin? Our Kevin? He’s been as quiet as a kitten for years now. You think just because they haven’t showed up yet, that Kevin killed Harley?!”

“No! I think Kevin killed Harley, because Jon saved his life! Remember? When he got out of the hospital, before he checked into rehab, he kept saying that he was in Jon’s debt. That he was gonna repay him!”

“By killing Harley?!”

“By saving Jon’s life in return!”

He tried calling Jon one more time, and then, after getting the same result for the fifteenth time, he took a deep breath and called Kevin.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Kev!” Jordan forced himself to sound casual, hoping that Kevin wouldn’t notice.

“Hey, Jordan, what’s up?”

“Just checking in, dude, you… got an ETA on my brother? Shouldn’t you guys be back by now?”

Silence. For at least seven seconds, there was complete silence, and then, he heard Kevin sigh.

“Yeah, sorry, Jordan, it’s gonna be a while before your brother comes back.”

Jordan felt his blood run cold.

“Why?”

“He’s sleeping! He was completely exhausted, Jordan, he could barely keep his eyes open. I told you it was a bad idea for him to go to the funeral.”

“Wasn’t my idea!” Jordan muttered to himself. He’d had a lot of arguments with Harley’s relatives over their planned funeral. It was too soon, Jon was still healing, and yes, of course he should be at his husband’s funeral. But they had been surprisingly adamant about the whole thing, almost like the planned it so that Jon wouldn’t be able to attend his own husband’s funeral.

“Figures”, he heard Kevin say, more to himself than to Jordan, “an asshole coming from a family of assholes. Makes sense. But hey, at least Jon is free now. I don’t know what I would have done if he… Anyway, don’t worry about big brother, as soon as he wakes up, we’re gonna have a little talk and I’m gonna tell him.”

Jordan was almost afraid to ask.

“Tell him… Tell him what?”

“I’m going to tell him that we are even now. He saved my life… I have saved his!”

Jordan looked over at his wife and, as she made a frantic gesture for him to tell her what was going on, he nodded briefly. Reema gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. Jordan closed his eyes.

“Kevin…” he said in a low voice, “what have you done?”

“I did what I had to do, what needed to be done, to save Jon. My debt is paid!”

“I don’t… I… Could you just… Could you take my brother home now, please?”

“Don’t worry, he’s perfectly safe, I’m not gonna let anything happen to him. I promise! He’ll be back before you know it.”

“Kev…”

“Jordan? He’s gonna need people around him for a while. He’s gonna need to be with friends and family, people who love him, people who make him feel safe, do you understand what I’m saying?”

Jordan’s head was spinning, his whole world was spinning out of control.

“Yeah…” he said, his eyes still closed. “Yeah, sure!”

“Great! Listen, there was no battery in his phone, so I’m charging it up for him. I’ll have him call you after me and him have had our little talk, how’s that?

Images kept on flying before Jordan’s eyes, images of his hero, his big brother, the change in him, the way he stopped talking, stopped laughing… how he turned into a complete stranger, because of what Harley had done to him… Images of Jon, sending long looks over at Donnie, and Donnie looking right back, as if there was no one else in the room with them… Images of hearing Jon laugh again, after so long, and of his brother in a hospital bed, with broken ribs and a hand he would never be able to use properly again.

“Hey? Jordan, is that ok?”

“Yeah… ok…”

“Great!”

“Kevin?”

“Yeah?”

Jordan took a deep breath. Yeah, this had to be done! He had to say it, had to get it out!

“I… Thank you! For… taking care of my brother!”

“It was my pleasure!” Take care, Jordan!”

Jordan looked up and saw Reema stare at him, hand still over her mouth and he nodded again.

“Yeah… you too…”  
\--------------------------------------------

Kevin placed his phone on the table, right next to the loaded gun. He had everything planned. It was going to be so perfect. Jon would never suffer any pain. Not ever again! Kevin had seen to that. Just one more thing to do, and it would be all over. He realized that he was smiling to himself. He hadn't felt this good about his life for many years. It seemed like all he needed was a purpose, an opportunity to pay his debt to Jon. And when it had, he gladly accepted it.

He looked over at the closed door. Jon needed to sleep. It was a good thing that he had Kevin to watch over him, while Donnie was out catching bad guys. Kevin had seen it coming a mile away, had seen the looks and the way they smiled, had always known they were made for each other. Donnie was a good man, always had been and he was good for Jon. Kevin knew, in his heart, that for him to finish what Donnie had started that night, that had been just what Jon and Donnie needed to finally admit to each other how they felt. Seeing the way Jon greeted Donnie at the funeral had warmed him all over. That was how two people in love were supposed to greet each other.

His gaze went from the door to the gun. He still smiled when he picked it up and made sure it was fully loaded. He was gonna let Jon rest, and then, they were going to talk!

He had everything planned.


	10. Chapter 10

Donnie was still undecided when they pulled up outside Kevin’s family’s cabin. If felt weird, he had spent so much time playing in this very yard as a young boy, and now…

“You ok, D?” His partner asked and Donnie shook his head. How could he be?

“This is wrong, man! This is so wrong, Kevin should be fucking celebrated, this is bullshit. It’s bullshit, pure and simple!”

“I know! I don’t like this anymore than you do, you know that… But it needs to be done!”

“No, it doesn’t! We can just go! We can go home and just… forget this ever happened.”

Danny raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. They both sat quiet for a few minutes, before Danny said:

“You know we can’t do that, right?”

“Well, I am willing to give it a try!”

“Donnie…”

“He tried to kill Jon! He could have gotten away with murdering one of our best friends and we wouldn’t even know about it.”

“He would have been caught! You and me, we would have made sure of that. He would have ended up behind bars…”

“…And Jon would still be dead. Thanks, but I prefer this version of the story.” His hands still clutched the wheel. He hated this, with every fiber of his being. It was not right, Kevin had done the world a favor, not to mention himself, Dan, Joey, Jordan and everyone who knew and loved Jon. They all owed Kevin for what he had done.

“Donnie? We have to do this!”

Danny was right. He usually was right, always had been, ever since they were kids. But this time, just this once, Donnie wished that he had been wrong. Because he really hated this.

“Ok! Just… Gimme a minute!”

Danny didn’t say anything, just gave a quick nod. He didn’t like this, either. Jon was one of his oldest and dearest friends in the world, and what Harley did to him was unforgivable. There was a part of Danny that really wished that he could have gotten to Harley before Donnie or Kevin, to show him just what happens to abusive assholes. But the cop in him had a much louder voice and in this case, that was a good thing, because his partner was not thinking clearly at the moment.

Not that Danny blamed him in any way, if someone had gone after his Sally, if it had been her in that hospital bed, instead of Jon? Yeah, Danny would have made damn sure that whoever did it never got the chance to do it again.

Kevin deserved celebration, Donnie was right about that, there should be people in the streets chanting his name and throwing flowers at his damn feet, but the fact was that Kevin broke the law when he killed Harley. And they needed to take him in. Danny knew that both he and Donnie would do everything they could to reduce the sentence, but he wasn´t really sure what good it would do.

Donnie was right about one thing, though, this was better than the alternative. Sure, if Harley had succeeded, eventually Donnie and him would have caught him and made him pay… and Jon would still be gone from their lives. And just the thought of never seeing Jon again made Danny feel sick.

He might need a minute, too. He was gonna hate himself for a long time for doing this.

\------------------------------------------

Kevin looked over at the clock on the wall and then back towards the window. They sure were taking their sweet time getting inside. He had heard the car pull up at least 40 minutes ago and had put on a pot of coffee, but they still hadn’t gotten out of the damn car.

Finally he got up, opened the front door and waved at them. As Danny rolled down the window, Kevin walked down to them.

“Were you planning on sitting out here all day? It’s warmer inside!”

He knew they knew! He could see it all over their faces. It made sense, they were good cops, he had known all along that they would figure it out.

“Coffee’s done!” he added. “I was just waiting for you guys to come in, but you never did.”

He saw the way they looked at each other. It was interesting to watch them like this. All his life, he had known them as Donnie and Danny, Jon and Jordan’s pals, but now, he was seeing them at work, catching bad guys… It was fascinating.

“Coffee does sound good!” Donnie said, finally and Kevin grinned at him.

“Great! Get inside, then. Just be quiet, Jon is still sleeping.”

“Is he ok?" Danny asked as they got out of the car and walked up towards the house.

“He’s fine, just tired. It took a lot out of him, all those vultures crowding him, asking questions. I figured a few hours rest was in order.”

“Good thinking!” Donnie said, and Kevin could tell, by the tone of his voice, that he was telling the truth. It made him even more positive that Donnie was the right guy for Jon.

“Thanks!” He said as he walked through the door. “Wipe your shoes!”

“Blow your nose!”

Kevin turned around, surprised and happy. When they were young and they had been playing outside for hours, Kevin’s mother would always demand they wiped their shoes before coming back inside. The playful boys would always have a comeback, such as ‘win a race’ or ‘make us dinner’ everyone trying to outdo the others. Danny’s reply had been instantaneous, some instinct from youth, perhaps, that made him open his mouth before he even had a chance to think it through.

Donnie looked over at him, torn between a smile and a sigh and Kevin felt a bit bad for him. This couldn’t be easy for either one of them. He sent them into the living room to sit down while he went for coffee.

“You know”, he said as he came out from the kitchen with two steaming cups, "it’s been years since I came here. I’ve been busy with work and stuff and trying to get back on my feet, but… As soon as I walked through the front door, it was like… time had stopped, you know? Like the past three years never happened. Crazy, right?”

“Totally!” Donnie agreed. “I know what you mean, whenever I visit my mom, it’s like I magically become 14 again.”

“Exactly! But I was an asshole three years ago!” He took a deep breath, needing a few precious seconds to figure out how to start explaining. “The drugs, the stealing… I pawned my grandmother’s jewelry so that I could buy my shit, you know. I looked my mother in the eyes and I lied through my teeth about where it was. I was so gone… I was supposed to be dead! I would have died, alone, alone, jacked-up on that shit and no one would have even known that I was missing until the apartment started smelling like corpse. And a part of me didn’t even care. I was a pathetic junkie who had absolutely nothing left to live for…and then I wake up, in the hospital, and Jon Knight is sitting by the bed, all red-eyed and puffy, as if he had been crying for three days. It didn’t seem real, I had… Ok, I’ll let you in on a little secret; remember back when Jon came out and he got that death threat in the mail?”

“Yeah”

“Yeah, well... that was from me!”

He waited for their reactions and that sure didn’t take long. Donnie almost flew up from the couch and Danny just stared at him like they didn’t even know who he was.

“What?!”

“I don’t understand, you… You said you were fine with it!”

“I am now!” He wanted to make that crystal clear. “I wasn’t back then! Look, I didn’t actually mean it, I wasn’t actually going to kill him, I was just… a stupid kid, I thought he would try something with me…”

“Really, dude?”

“I said I was stupid, remember? I’m not making any excuses, I was an idiot and it was a shitty thing to do and… and here is this guy, sitting by my bed, crying because he thought he had lost one of his friends and I just felt so… guilty. I just kept thinking that I don’t deserve this; I don’t deserve someone’s tears, especially not his, not after what I did back when we were kids… So I told him! I told him that the letter had been from me and I just waited for him to… I don’t know, get upset, or storm out or say he regretted saving me… But he didn’t. I wake up, several hours later and he is still sitting there.”

He saw a slight twitch on Donnie’s lips as if he was thinking about something that almost made him smile. Kevin was no fool, he knew that Donnir was thinking about Jon, how that was so typical of him. And he’d be right, of course, it was so typical of Jon to just ignore what Kevin had said and still be there for him, as a friend. But at the time, Kevin had not been able to see that, and he had not been able to understand.

“’Live’, he said. ‘You get your act together, you find yourself a decent job and you l-i-v-e, and I’ll forgive you!’ I mean… Who does that?!”

“Jon does!”

“I can’t explain what happened, it was… surreal, but I knew that he was being sincere, I knew that he meant it, so… I decided to fight. I needed him to forgive me, so I fought my way back.”

“Are you using again, Kevin?”

He had been expecting the question, not the stab in the gut when it was asked.

“Are you asking as a cop or a friend, Danny?”

“Please, Kevin…” Donnie said, his eyes pleading, “Don’t do this!”

“You’re a good man, Donnie, and a good friend, but I think Danny should ask what he really wants to know… ‘Was I high when I killed Harley’!

“Were you?”

“No! That day when Jon found me; that was the last time I used anything. I was clearheaded and sober when I killed him. I knew exactly what I was doing and I have no regrets.”

“Fuck, Kevin… I can’t even… Why?”

“Because you didn’t! And someone had to!”

“We have to take you in, Kev, you know that!”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen! I go to jail; I’ll end up on the floor with a needle in my arm, either by force or my own weakness. I would like to handle that particular part on my own. And as soon as Jon wakes up, me and him are gonna talk, and then you are going to take him home and I’ll take care of myself.”

“Kevin, you murdered a man, in cold blood! He was a despicable human being and he deserved it, but you had no right to kill him. He should have been convicted in a court of law and placed in a cell for the rest of his miserable life, being used as a bed warmer for the criminally insane and you…”

He could tell the very second that the atmosphere changed in the living room. Both Danny and Donnie had been staring at Kevin and now, suddenly, they were looking at something right behind him and Kevin’s heart did a double-take. Slowly turning, he found himself standing face-to-face with…

“Jon!”

\----------------------------------------------

Jon actually felt a lot better when he woke up. He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep, but his headache was gone and he took that as a good sign. He yawned as he sat up in bed… and realized that he had no idea where he was.

A few seconds of intense panic had him frantically looking for clues, until he suddenly recognized the wallpaper in the room. And he remembered Kevin taking him for a ride… somewhere… He was in Canada! What the hell made Kevin drive all the way to the cabin?! He was supposed to take Jon back to Jordan and Reema’s place. This made no sense, it was as if…

“Oh, no!”

Was Kevin using again? Jon wasn’t sure his heart could take that. Kevin had made such progress in the past years, he worked hard and Jon seemed to remember hearing something about a girlfriend… Kevin wouldn’t risk all that for a fix, would he? there was only one way to find out. He would have to ask Kevin!

He got out of bed. The window in the room was slightly open, not so much that it was freezing, but just enough to let a bit of fresh air inside. It felt really good and Jon smiled to himself as he thought back to all the fun times they’d had in this house, when Kevin had invited them all to stay with him. This was a good idea. He had no idea what made Kevin do this, but he really appreciated it. He took deep breath after deep breath, feeling like a new man. His cellphone was lying on the bedside table, and he put it in his pocket.

It was when he opened the door that he heard voices and recognized Donnie and Danny. He smiled to himself, happy that they were here and then frowned a bit as Danny asked Kevin if he was using again. His heart stopped. He really wanted the answer to that question to be no, so he held his breath and listened.

And ten seconds later, his world collapsed.

He couldn't move, just stood there, barely breathing, listening to Kevin admitting to killing Harley. There was no pride in his voice, no shame, no nothing, just a simple statement of fact. He just said it. Out loud.

Kevin had murdered Harley! His dear friend had killed his husband. The man whose life he saved, had... had saved his in return.

Jon wasn't sure how long he was standing there. His head was spinning. He had so many questions and yet, he already knew the answer to most of them. And finally, he had made his presence known, waking in to the living room, letting them know that he was there. Donnie and Danny saw him first, and when Kevin saw their attention being diverted, he turned and Jon found himself staring not at his friend, but at his husband's killer.

He had no idea how to act. He didn't know what to do, or what to say, so he just stood there, and said nothing.

"Jon!"

And suddenly, Jon could only see Kevin. He saw the boy he knew, the boy he used to play with, the boy who would win every race at school... the boy he found, so many years later, lifeless in his apartment, the boy who promised to repay him somehow, to thank him for saving his life.... to somehow return the favor...

"Oh, Kevin..."

It was hard to say which one of them moved first, but move, they did, and Jon pulled the other man close, holding him tight and felt Kevin return the embrace. He would never say 'thank you', he couldn't do that, Kevin had killed a man, Jon couldn't thank him for that, no matter who that man was or what kind of monster he had been, but in that embrace, he poured everything he couldn't say, the gratitude he felt and the sadness over his friend's actions.

As they seperated, Jon looked at Kevin, knowing what had to be done. He had tears in his eyes when he said it.

"You have to go with them, Kev! You have to!"

"I was gonna tell you, Jon! I was gonna tell you everything, I had it all planned out..."

"It doesn't matter! I know! And I know why! Please... Do the right thing. Do it for me!"

"I did do it for you, Jon! When I saw you... when I understood what he had done..."

"I know!" Jon looked over at Donnie and Danny who were coming towards them. "But you have to go with them! We'll go together, all of us, down to the station. I'll be there every step of the way. I promise!"

He took a step back as Danny placed his arm around Kevin's shoulders.

"You ready, Kev?"

Donnie went over to Jon, giving him a hard hug.

"You ok, baby?"

Jon nodded, and realized that he actually meant it. He was ok. He wasn't happy about it, and at the same time... He felt liberated.

They walked out to the car together.


	11. Chapter 11

The ride back to the station started out as awkward and quiet for at least seven minutes. And then, they drove past the almost overgrown path that led to the old make out-tree and again, Danny spoke without thinking:

“Jon and Tiffany sittin’ in a tree!”

Kevin snickered as Donnie gave a surprised laugh.

“Oh, come ON!” Jon groaned.

“Tiff fell down and broke her knee!”

“It was her ankle!” Jon muttered, but the others ignored him completely, it was obvious that it was more fun to tease Jon, just like they used to when they were growing up.

“You guys think ol’ Tiff ever goes back to the tree and dreams about the old days?”

“Come on, I told her I was sorry, there wasn’t much else I could do, was there?”

“Dude, you carved your initials in the make out-tree. That’s like a proposal!”

“I know, I know, ok? I shouldn’t have done that!”

“What you shouldn’t have done was push her down from the tree because she tried to kiss you!”

Jon stared at him.

“What?!” he cried out, making the other three laugh again. “How do you know that?”

“Ha! I knew it! –You owe me 2 bucks, D!”

“Damn, Jonny, I know the girls were falling for you, but isn’t that taking it to the extreme?”

“Come on, guys, seriously, just tell me! Me and Tiff agreed, we told everyone that she fell!”

“We had a spy following the two of you to the make out-tree. We know what really happened.”

“A spy?” And then, it all made sense. Because it could only be one person that would do something like that. “Jordan!”

“Yep! He volunteered, actually!”

“Of course he did”, Jon muttered to himself. “Well… Ok, yes, it’s true, she tried to kiss me and I freaked out and I pushed her away and she fell down the tree and broke her ankle. End of story.”

“She didn’t seem to hold it against you, though?”

“Well, when she came back from the hospital, I went over for a visit and… I told her I was gay.”

“Dude, that took a lot of guts! She could have shot you down good, she could have outed you to the whole school.”

“Not Tiff! I told her how I had struggled with this for a long time and that no matter how badly I wanted to be 'normal', I just couldn’t keep lying to myself. I even told her that I was in love with my best friend.”

“Damn!”

“Speaking of, you should probably call J; he was really worried about you.”

“Oh yeah", Kevin suddenly said, "that reminds me; he called me earlier, asking about you. I promised you’d call.”

Jon took out his cellphone and found it fully charged.

“I charged it up for you!” Kevin pointed out and Jon gave him a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Kev!”

And he froze, as he realized what he had just done. Kevin seemed to understand, because he nodded slowly, the very hint of a smile on his lips.

“It was my pleasure”, he said, making Jon’s heart stop for a few seconds. He didn’t know what to say or where to look, so he turned his attention to his phone, calling his brother to let him know that he was alright… and that Jordan was gonna pay for spying on him and Tiffany in the make out-tree.

\---

“CUT!” The director screamed and took a few steps towards his star. “Hey, McIntyre, what the fuck is your fucking problem?”

Joey looked down at his hands. He knew he wasn’t giving his best performance and the movie was suffering for it.

“Sorry!” he said.

“I don’t want ‘sorry’, I want your head out of your own ass and in to hers. You either get with the fucking program or you get the fuck out. I don’t care what you have to do or who you have to think about, you get your ass moving and you shake some life into that fucking cock of yours or you’re out, is that clear?”

“Yeah, I…”

“LYNN! Coffee for me and a fluffer for Joey. Nobody gets to go home until we finish this scene!”

Joe sighed as the director stomped away to his office. He barely noticed how the fluffer, Sandra smoothly went down on his knees and started sucking him off. His co-star, Rick, came over to check up on him, and Sandra, being good at what she did, started working on him as well.

Joe swore to himself.

“Fuck!”

“Yeah, well, that’s why we’re here, man”, Rick pointed out. “You heard the guy, get to work or get out!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s just… I’m having trouble concentrating, that’s all… I met someone! And she’s so… perfect and pure and I really don’t want to fuck it up, because I really don’t deserve that kind of girl, you know?”

Rick gave him a questioning eyebrow.

“Of course you do, Joe, everybody deserves a bit of happiness in their life.”

“I guess… Doesn’t your wife go crazy, though? Knowing what you do?”

“She knows it's just a job, nothing else. You should hear her commenting my scenes, man, she’s like my toughest critic. No, she’s cool with it, we’ve made a few movies of our own. –Careful with the nails, Sandy!”

“Yeah, but this girl is different, Rick, she is… -I didn’t tell you to stop, Sandy, keep going! –She’s an angel. How do I tell an angel about this?”

“Very carefully, man! Very carefully!

“Alright, fuckers, back to work!” the director’s voice called out. Sandra took a step back and both Joe and Rick assumed their positions and waited for the ‘action’.

\---------

Jon frowned a bit when they parked outside the police station and Danny turned around in his seat with a pair of handcuffs. He was having a really difficult time with this, not knowing how he was supposed to feel about Kevin murdering Harley, but he knew how he felt about seeing one of his friends in handcuffs.

“Danny, is that really necessary? He came willingly!”

“Standard procedure, Jon. He’s a killer! If we walk in there with him, arms around each other, laughing at old jokes, quite a few eyebrows would be raised and our bosses would have our heads.”

“It’s ok, Jon, let them do their job. It’s fine, I promise! You’re free now, that’s all that matters. I don’t really care what happens to me.”

Jon looked over at Donnie, while Danny put the handcuffs on Kevin, silently begging for advice, but Donnie was in full cop-mode.

“Kevin Richardson, you are under arrest for the murder of Harley Rodriguez. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, an attorney will be appointed to you by the…”

“Don’t bother with the lawyer, fellas! Let’s just get it over with.”

“Kev, you killed a man! They will fry your ass if you don’t have a lawyer defending it!”

“How about you stop thinking about my ass, Wahlberg?” Kevin smirked and Jon gave a tiny smile. His stomach hurt. He didn’t like this. Not one bit! Maybe Kevin didn’t care what happened to him, but Jon did. Kevin was his friend, no matter what. He was going to stand by his side, right to the bitter end.

“Jon, I need you to stay outside while we take Kevin into…”

“Screw that!”

“Baby, don’t fight me on this, please?”

“No! I’m coming with you, and that’s the end of it. Kevin is my friend and I’m not gonna let him go through this alone!”

“Fine!” Donnie got out of the car and opened the door for Kevin. Jon watched him lean in close and whisper something to Kevin, but it was impossible to hear what was being said. Kevin didn’t say anything in reply, he just nodded and Jon was immediately curious.

Danny held up the door for him, a true gentleman, and Jon thanked him with a smile. Some small part of him remembered hearing Danny whisper in his ear when he had been in that hospital bed. He hadn’t been sure if it was a dream or not, but he remembered the words.

“Come back to us, big brother… we all love you so much…”

It wasn’t like someone like Danny, who usually was very tight-lipped when it came to expressing his emotions, to talk like that, which was why Jon had thought that it was all in his head, but looking at his friend now, he realized how wrong he had been. All his life, he had viewed Donnie and Danny, and even Joe, as more than just his best friends. They were his brothers, just like Jordan and David.

It just never occurred to him, not fully, that they might feel the same about him.

It filled his whole body with strength and joy, despite the gravity of the situation, and he took a big, cleansing breath as they walked up the stairs and into the police station.

“Jon, I’m gonna have to ask you to wait for us here, ok?” Danny said, as he and Donnie each took one of Kevin’s arms. Jon didn’t say anything. He stood still and watched his three friends leave. When they were completely out of sight, he took a deep breath and whispered:

“… Thank you…”

He knew Kevin couldn’t hear him, and he would never say it to his face, but he said it to himself, quietly, and meant every word, no matter how hard his heart was beating.

That would have to be enough.


	12. Chapter 12

Jordan had been pacing ever since he got the call from Jon, not really allowing himself to feel calm until he had his brother back, safe and sound, and he was still pacing, three hour later, when he heard a car pulling up outside. He rushed to the window, just in time to see his brother in the passenger seat of a police car. He couldn’t stop a sigh of relief as as he watched the driver run around and open up the door for Jon. Finally! He thought to himself. Oh, thank god, freaking finally!

He couldn’t have stopped himself moving any more than he could have stopped breathing. Jon was here, he was safe and sound and alive and Jordan opened the front door, and walked swiftly over to Jon and literally wrapped himself around his big brother. He didn’t say anything, he just held on for dear life with Jon hugging him back, just as hard.

“There you go, mr Knight, safe and sound!”

“Thanks, Mike!” Jon said to the officer and Jordan wondered if he should probably let go of his brother to let Jon shake the guy’s hand or something, but there was no power on earth that could make him do that. Not right now. He'd had his heart lodged in his throat ever since the call from Kevin and not knowing anything had driven him mad. So yeah, he was gonna hold on to his big brother for a while!

He didn’t even let go when he heard the police car drive away.

“I’m fine, little brother!”

“I know!” Jordan said, still refusing to let go. He held on for a few more precious seconds, before taking a step back, letting his arms fall. “It’s just good to see you, that’s all. Are you… ok?”

Jon shook his head.

“Not really, no!”

“You feel like talking about it?”

“If that offer comes with a bite to eat, then I’m all yours. I haven’t eaten anything decent for hours.”

“Done!” Jordan agreed and started walking back to the house. 

\-----------

Kevin sat still, looking calmly at the officer across the table, waiting for a reaction.

“Mr Richardson, you are in no position to make demands!”

Kevin shrugged.

“Nevertheless, I am making one! I want detective Wahlberg and detective Wood in here to hear what I have to say.”

“Detectives Wahlberg and Wood are not part of this investigation, and…”

“They’re the ones that caught me, though!” Kevin pointed out. He wasn’t about to give up now. He knew perfectly well that both Donnie and Danny were watching him on the other side on that two-way mirror, but it wasn’t good enough. He wanted them present. He wanted to see the look on their faces when he told them. And he wasn’t about to say another damn word until they got their asses in to the interrogation room.

He leaned back in the chair and waited. It wasn’t like he had all the time in the world, so they had better hurry up.

The officer (whatever his name was, Kevin hadn’t bothered to pay attention. Was it Meyers? Beyers? Something that ended with an –ers, he knew that much) looked frustrated, and didn’t say anything. And then he got up, and left the room, closing the door with a loud BANG. Kevin looked at the door. He really wanted Danny and Donnie in there with him. For a few moments, he wondered what Jon would say when he found out, because there wasn’t a shred of doubt in Kevin’s mind that Donnie wouldn’t tell Jon about it.

Maybe he could ask them to keep silent about it.

Maybe he shouldn’t tell them. Would it be withholding information if he kept it to himself? Probably! Besides, it wasn’t like they could charge him with that, he was already a confessed killer. He thought about it for a few seconds and decided to keep quiet. They would find out sooner or later.

Just as he reached his decision, the door opened up again and the officer came back inside with Donnie and Danny in tow, all of them looking serious and professional.

“Alright, Mr Richardson”, the officer said as he went back to his chair, “start talking!”

Kevin nodded at Donnie and Danny and then gave the officer a little smile.

“My name is Kevin Richardson and I confess to killing the rat bastard known as Harley Rodriguez. I take full responsibility for my actions and I wave my right to a lawyer.”

“Jesus…” he heard Danny whisper.

“I found out by coincidence what Harley was doing to Jon. He was hurting one of my oldest friends, the man who save my life. I promised Jon once that I would repay him for that, and once I understood what Harley was doing… he was a walking dead man. I started making all sorts of plans, I googled for information on how to kill someone, the do’s and don’ts… I learned his daily routines and I…” He took a deep breath. “I found out that he was cheating on Jon with one of the regulars at the gym. And then Jon ended up in hospital and I just… I couldn’t take it anymore, he was a fucking animal and he didn’t deserve to live, not after what he did to Jon. I didn’t even know which way I was going to kill him, I just knew I had to do it. But when I got to the gym… someone else had beaten me to it and was kicking his ass right in the parking lot.”

He looked over at Donnie, who looked somewhat guilty. Kevin felt bad for him; he couldn’t even imagine how it must have felt for Donnie to find out the truth like that.

“Alright, walk us through it, Kevin!” Danny said. “What happened next?”

“I saw Donnie beat him up. I saw him leave while Harley was still breathing. -Don’t get me wrong, D, I understand why you didn’t kill him. Hell, I’m glad you didn’t; it gave me the perfect opportunity to repay my debt to Jon.”

“So what did you do?”

“I took him to my car and I drove down to the beach. He must have thought that I was taking him to the hospital… I wonder when it dawned on him that he was still going to die, just not at the hands of his greatest rival. Don’t worry, I made sure that he knew. And then, I just… put my hand over his mouth and pinched his nose so that he couldn’t breathe. I killed him right there, in the back of my car, just sat on his chest, pinned his arms to his sides, and held on until he stopped struggling and then a minute or so extra, just to be on the safe side. All in all, killing him took about five-six minutes, if that. That was almost disappointing. After everything he put Jon through, I wanted him to suffer, but… I figured you took care of that part, D, so that made me feel better. I thought about burying him in the sand, but I needed Jon to know; he had to see, so instead, I left him sitting by the rocks. Sooner or later, someone would find him, so I went back to work, took a shower, and waited for you guys to show up.”

“You wanted us to know it was you!”

“Well, yeah! Of course! I mean, how was I supposed to know that they would make you their prime suspect, D, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“So why not come forward?” Donnie asked, apparently forgetting that he ‘wasn’t part of the investigation’ and wasn’t supposed to ‘interfere’. “You had plenty of opportunities, why keep it a secret?”

“Because when the police didn’t show, I knew that before I did anything else, I had to talk to Jon. It was only right that I told him first, don’t you think?”

“You had plenty of opportunities to do that, too. You spent hours at his side when he was in the hospital, talking to him. You could have said something then.”

“You’re not jealous, are you, D? It didn’t feel right, telling him I killed his husband while he was still in hospital. No, it had to be somewhere private, somewhere where we wouldn’t get interrupted, where I could tell him everything… When I saw him after the funeral, I knew I had my chance. Now or never, I thought to myself. If you’re gonna do it, do it now! So I took him home! You guys know the rest.”

“So why did you drug him?” Danny asked. Kevin frowned a bit.

“Drug him? I didn’t drug him, I… I gave him some water before we got in the car, but he was so exhausted, he just passed out when we got inside the car. Who said I drugged him?”

“Never mind!” Danny said.

“Damnit, Kevin”, Donnie was shaking his head at him, “you really screwed up this time.”

“I don’t see it that way. Jon is alive, the monster that hurt him is gone from this world… I’d call that a job well done.”

“You killed a man!” The officer pointed out.

“I saved Jon’s life!”

“Kevin… Please… Just think about this for one second.” Danny was pleading with him. “They are going to charge you with murder in the first degree. You’ll get the death penalty for that. Best case scenario; you’ll be in jail for the rest of your life.”

“Danny, you don’t understand… I’m fine with it! It was always gonna end this way. I’m glad I got the chance to repay Jon for what he did. I do have one favor to ask, though. I know, I know”, he added, when Byers (and he congratulated himself on remembering the guy’s name) made a move to say something, ”I’m not in a position to make any kind of demands, but… My girlfriend, Natalie… She’s a single mom, we met at a meeting six months ago… I’m not asking for charity, or anything like that, I just… Keep an eye on her? From time to time? She’s a good woman and her kid is only two, if she were to fall off the wagon or some shit because of me…”

“We’ll keep an eye on her!” Donnie said, nodding. He kept his voice low and he had his hands shoved in his pockets, but he looked right at Kevin and Kevin knew instantly that Donnie meant every word he said. He took a deep breath. Nothing left but the formalities. He looked over at Byers.

“Are we done here?”

He had given them everything they needed, a killer behind bars. Kevin felt a strong sense of calm. He made the right choice not telling them that he was dying. Three months, the doctor had said, and that was… well, four months ago, almost to the day. He was living on borrowed time, he doubted that he would even live to see the trial.

Byers said something, but Kevin had stopped listening. In his head, he went over the list he had made over things he had to do before he checked out. Sure, if he’d had any say in it, he would have liked to be able to spend the rest of his life with Natalie and her kid. Who would have thought that doing a bunch of heavy drugs for years on end would be bad for your health? Maybe it was karmic justice, him using his borrowed time to save Jon’s life, and make sure that Nat was cared for.

As they picked him up and was walking him towards the door, he stretched out his hand to Donnie. Donnie looked at him, and then took out his hand from his pocket and shook Kevin’s.

“Thank you! For Natalie!”

Donnie didn’t say anything in return, but Kevin could read it in his eyes. ‘Thank you, for Jon!’

His debt was paid.

\------------

It was dark outside and the Knight brothers had barely started talking when there was a rapid knock on the door, loud enough to wake the dead. Or at the very least Jordan’s wife, who slept soundly upstairs, so Jordan hurried out into the hallway to see who was at the door.

“Hey, Joe, what’s up?

Joe looked absolutely frantic when he pushed himself past Jordan.

“Is he here? It’s all over the news!” he said, his voice thick with emotions. “They’re saying they caught Harley’s killer. Is it… They didn’t… Is he… On the news, they said… There was a kidnapping…”

As Jon came out from the kitchen, Jordan could literally see a huge weight being lifted from Joe’s shoulders.

“Hey, Joe!”

“Oh, thank god!” Joe half-whispered as Jon came over to give him a hug. “Are you ok? It’s all over the news, you know, you’d think they caught the guy who killed JFK or something… Jon, please, tell me the truth this time… Is Donnie…”

“Donnie and Danny caught the killer. He’s in custody.”

Joe looked from one brother to the other, confusion written all over his face.

“Why don’t you go sit down? I was just about to tell Jordan about what happened.”

Jordan went ahead to make some more coffee. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

To his credit, though, Joe waited until they were all sitting down around the table, before launching a swarm of questions. Who? Why? What? When? But Jon knew that it was one thing he had to start with. Making sure they both knew that Donnie was innocent in all of this.

“I know you both thought that Donnie did it!”

Joe looked guilty, a slight red coloring his cheeks. A part of Jon wanted to smile at him. Despite Joe being a fully grown man, sometimes it was really hard for Jon not to still think of him as little Joey Joe McIntyre, running after him, begging for attention with those impossibly big blue eyes. Jordan, on the other hand, only shrugged slightly, as if he had nothing to apologize for.

“I don’t blame you!” he quickly said, putting their minds at ease. “There was a moment when I thought so, too.”

“So what happened?” Joe asked and Jon took a deep breath.

“Kevin killed Harley!” He found that just saying the words gave him a huge lump in his throat and he wondered if it would ever become easier or if this was how he would feel for the rest of his life. And the worst part wasn’t that he felt upset about the death of his husband; it was the fact that one of his friends had done it, and had ended up in a jail cell because of it. “To save my life!”

“Kevin? What Kevin? Kevin Richardson?! OUR Kevin?! Holy shit!”

“Son of a bitch! Shit, Jon, mom’s gonna flip!”

Jon took another deep breath, and then he came to a screeching halt when Jordan’s words registered in his brain. Mom! He had completely forgotten about his mother. What was he going to tell her? There would be a trial, the whole family would find out about him and Harley…

“Oh, no!”

“What is it?”

Jon gave his brother a painful look.

“What am I going to tell mom?”

“The truth! She’s gonna find out sooner or later, anyway, you know that! Might as well make sure that she hears it from you and not some prosecutor in a court of law.”

“Jordan, I don’t even know where to start. How do I tell her this?”

“You’re not doing it alone, Jon, I’ll be right there with you, you know that. Every step of the way.”

“Yeah, me, too!” Joe pointed out. Jon gave him a tiny smile. “Don’t look at me like that, Jonathan Knight! You know you’re like my big brother, you think I’m not gonna stand by you in this?

Jon’s heart was pounding so hard, he was afraid it would burst.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less of you, little man!” he said, still smiling. “Thank you!”

“Also, I might need some advice on where to take Nyia for our date, so….” Joe tried looking innocent, and was able to pull it off perfectly, but the Knight brothers knew him well enough and Jon actually groaned.

“Knew there was a catch!”

The three of them stayed up for hours, talking about what had happened, and Jon went to bed that night thinking, for the first time in months, that maybe, just maybe, things would work out.


	13. Chapter 13

For once, Jon had ignored his brother’s loud objections about going back to work and if he was totally honest with himself, it felt really good to get out of the house and do something productive. It was good to get back to work and everyone seemed happy to see him. He really loved Jordan and Reema and would be eternally grateful to them for letting him stay with them, but they were walking on eggshells around him, as if they were worried that he was gonna break if they raised their voices at him.

Frankly, it was getting on his nerves. He was a grown man, for crying out loud, he did not need his little brother taking care of him as if he was an invalid. They were doing it with the best of intensions, he knew that, and he was thankful, but he had made his mind up; he was going back to work and nothing Jordan said would change that.

There were some questions from his co-workers, of course, he had anticipated as much, and he told them what he thought they needed to know, and not much else. He still hadn’t told anyone outside family and closest friends what happened with him and Harley, and he had only told a selected few about his relationship with Kevin Richardson. It was a need-to-know question; they didn’t, so he wouldn’t.

Around noon he got a text from Donnie, asking if he was free for lunch. He was just about to text back, when there was a knock on his door. He had a lot of catching up to do; he knew that, so Donnie would have to wait.

“Yes?”

The door opened and Donnie grinned at him.

“So… Lunch?”

Jon looked at him, down at his phone and then back at Donnie. He loved the guy, but seriously, with him and Jordan and Joe calling and coming by and fixing his damn bed, for crying out loud, it was starting to become a bit too much. He knew why they did it, of course he did, and he loved them for it, but he needed some time to get back in the game, to find himself and as much as he loved them, he couldn’t do that with his friends and family hanging over his shoulder 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

“Donnie… Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

“I took a day off! I figured I would spend it with the most beautiful man I know and ask him out to lunch.” He shrugged. “But he had to cancel, so….”

Jon couldn’t help it, he laughed. It felt good to laugh and since that was obviously what Donnie had been hoping for, it probably made him feel good as well.

“You’re an idiot!”

“I know! So… Lunch?”

“Did my brother put you up to this?”

Donnie looked both shocked and disgusted.

“I am shocked and appalled that you would even suggest such a thing… It was Danny, actually!”

Jon took a deep breath. He could eat. And the last time he and Donnie went out for lunch together was… a long time ago. Why was he even considering turning the man down?

“Alright”, he said, “you win!”

“Perfect! Come on, I know just the place.”

That place turned out to be a hot dog stand in the park. Jon wasn’t about to argue, though, it was a beautiful day and he was out of the house, spending time with someone who meant the world to him.

“How are you?” Donnie finally asked, when they sat down on a bench near the playground to eat and watch the laughing children. Jon took a deep breath.

“I’m fine! I’m taking it one day at a time and it’s getting better. I promise!”

“Good, good! Now, try it without the lying!”

He might be able to fool his brother and Reema, he might even be able to fool Joe and Danny, but Donnie saw right through him, apparently.

“I have nightmares!” he admitted. “Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and I can’t remember where I am… Sometimes, I can’t even breathe…” He stopped and looked over at Donnie. “I know what you’re gonna say!”

“Oh?”

“You think I should talk to someone! A professional! And I don’t need some shrink telling me to let it go and move on and find my inner chakra or some shit like that. I have my family, I have my friends… I have you… I can do this! I just need people to stop asking me if I’m ok every five minutes.”

“Little brother getting on your nerves?”

“I know it’s because he cares and I love him for it, I do, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out of that house and do something productive.

“Oh! That reminds me, I need to show you something!” Donnie got up from the bench and held out his hand, throwing what was left of his lunch in a nearby trash can. Jon looked somewhat suspicious, but he stood up anyway, accepting Donnie’s hand.

“My lunch break is almost over!” He protested meekly. He knew it didn’t matter, he would follow Donnie to the edge of the earth, no matter the consequences.

“It’s not far from here, I just need your opinion on something.”

Donnie took him for a five minute walk away from the traffic into a quiet, suburban neighborhood, and for a few minutes, they just walked together, looking at all the houses, enjoying each other’s company. And then, all of a sudden, Donnie stopped in front of one house in particular, making a sound of appreciation. Jon had to admit that it was a beautiful house. He had been working in real estate for many years now, and he knew quality when he saw it, and this was clearly a house that was well taken care of.

“Now that”, Donnie said, “is beautiful!”

Jon looked down at the For Sale-sign by the mailbox.

“If you like it, you should buy it!” he said, already laughing at his own joke. Donnie wouldn’t give up his apartment for anything, he knew that much.

“Without checking inside?” Donnie looked aghast. And then, he shrugged. “Only one way to fix that!” he said and walked up towards the front door. Jon blinked a few times, his brain not really understanding, and then, he ran after Donnie, catching up to him as the other man placed his hand on the door, as if to push it open.

“You are insane!”

“I know! Ridiculously charming, though, right?” Donnie suddenly gave Jon a boyish grin. “The door’s open!” he said, in a stage whisper, and Jon’s heart did a funny stutter. This was a bad idea, he thought to himself, as Donnie pushed the door open, this was a really, really bad idea. But he went inside with Donnie, anyway.

“If we get caught, I am blaming you!” he whispered, looking around nervously, expecting someone to show up at any second, screaming about what they were doing. Sure, the house was for sale, plenty of people probably came inside and looked around every day, but Jon knew, from personal experience, that decent people always called ahead to make sure someone was there to show them around. Any real estate agent worthy of the title knew that.

Donnie didn’t seem to be worried, though, he took his sweet time checking the kitchen, the living room, the master bedroom (Jon kindly, but firmly, declined trying out the bed with him.) and the bathrooms, but the back yard seemed to be what caught his eye the most.

“Jonny, come look at this!” he said, excited as a kid on Christmas, taking Jon’s hand and all but dragged him outside. “It’s perfect!”

But Jon had had just about enough. He had known Donnie since he was 9 years old; he knew perfectly well when the man was up to something. And right, he was up to something.

“So why are we really here, Donald?” he asked, using Donnie’s full name to get his attention and make him understand that playtime was over.

“You’re no fun!” Donnie fake-pouted. “I haven’t even shown you the view from the upstairs guest room yet and the nursery and…”

“Donnie!”

Instead of answering, Donnie stuck his hand in his pocket and took out a house key.

“I’ve bought it!”

“Excuse me?” Jon wasn’t sure he’d heard that one properly, but Donnie looked at him, his boyish grin gone. He was serious. “You bought a house? How could you even afford it?”

“Down-payment! All the papers are signed, all the lines are crossed! This is my house…” He took Jon’s hand and held it, placing the key to the house in the open palm. “It’s our house!”

Jon wasn’t altogether sure if his mouth was moving or not.

”What?”

“Jon… You and me have been together for almost 25 years… We should have been living together decades ago… And I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that. But I promise that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you… If you’ll let me.”

“I… I don’t know what to say…”

Donnie gave him a small smile and took Jon’s hand in his.

“Jon Knight… Will you be my roommate?”

\------------------------------ -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------

Joe took a deep breath as he heard the knock on the door. He was nervous, and he didn’t really like that feeling, but when he opened the door and saw her standing outside, all that nervousness seemed to leave his body in-between heartbeats. She was just so stunningly beautiful.

“Hey!”

“Hi! You ready?”

He wasn’t! Not really! But it had to be done. He would never be able to sleep properly again if he didn’t do this. But out loud, he said:

“Yeah! Let’s go!”

Nyia smiled at him. It was enough to fill him with sensational warmth and he never wanted her to stop smiling.

“Ok! My car is over there!”

“Thanks for doing this”, he said, as they walked to the car. “I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t really important, and I didn’t know who else to call, and I know it’s a bit sudden, but…”

“It’s fine!” she said, still smiling. She fascinated him. They had been on three rather successful dates these past two weeks (thanks to Jon being so awesome and giving him ideas on where to take her), and she had told him almost everything there was to know about her, and somehow, she remained a mystery to him. Because she was so unlike any woman he had ever met in his entire life. She wasn’t like the women he usually went out with. It fascinated him to no end. The fact that she had agreed to do this? That was just one more thing he could add to the list of what made her so amazing.

So far, he hadn’t told her anything about what he did, though. He had talked about his childhood. He had talked about his family and his friends. He hadn’t said a word about what he did for a living. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed or anything, he was proud of his work. But he just didn’t know how to tell her about it. All the other women he had been with, they were either in the business or they had seen his movies and were curious to find out if he really was as well-endowed in real life or if it was just special effects.

Ok, he should probably not mention that to Nyia!

They stopped at a red light and there were a few seconds of silence between them.

“I know it’s not any of my business, but…?”

“’Why am I going to visit a friend in prison’?”

She shook his head.

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me.”

“No, it’s fine, I… Ok, remember, first time we met, at the hospital?”

“Yeah?”

“I was there visiting a friend of mine; his husband had almost beaten him to death.”

He kept looking at the road as he talked, but in the corner of his eye, he checked for her reaction. She barely blinked. Yet another thing to add to his list. It would have killed him if she’d had a problem with Jon.

“He was a horrible excuse for a human…” Joe took a deep breath, trying desperately to ignore the feeling of nausea that threatened him when he thought about how that asshole had them all fooled, for so long, and how he had made Jon suffer. “Anyway… he’s dead now, someone killed him! And I’m going to prison to meet his killer!”

He looked over at her and saw that she was fighting really hard to keep her eyes on the red light, ready for when it turned. Not that he could blame her, that was quite the revelation, and probably too early in their relationship to be talking about, but she wanted to know, and he wanted to tell her.

“I see!” was all she said, and he felt like he should explain himself, somehow.

“Look, I get it, ok? Kevin killed someone, all that jazz, I *know* that, it’s just… Jon means the world to me, he’s been like my big brother all my life, even more so than some of my actual brothers and sister, you wouldn’t believe some of the things they would…”He took a deep breath, getting back on track. “Jon is the kindest, sweetest human being anyone has ever met. For someone to do something like that to him, treat him like that… I know, the rational thing would be for Harley to rot in a jail cell for the rest of his miserable life, but that’s too good for someone like him, he didn’t deserve that, he didn’t deserve to still be breathing after nearly beating his own husband half to death. Kevin did the world a favor, and I want to thank him. Simple as that.”

Yeah, ok, he really shouldn’t have said anything. If she turned the car around and took him back home, he would understand. Hell, if she kicked him out of the car while it was still moving, he would understand. Maybe he came on a little strong, but it was hard to explain to someone who didn’t know the full story. They would never understand just how passionately Joe felt about this, no one would, unless they had been through something similar.

“You feel very strongly about this!” Nyia said, still looking at the road.

“You disagree?”

“I understand your passion! Jon means a great deal to you, and someone hurt him; you want revenge. It’s understandable!”

“But…?”

“Nothing! You’re a good friend, Joe!”

She was about to say something else, but decided against it at the last minute, and it bothered Joe, for some reason. She obviously had something she wanted to say, but thought he wouldn’t appreciate it. Like him, she didn’t want to ruin this new thing between them, and he could understand and accept that, but he didn’t like that felt as though she had to hold back with him. If she had something to say, she should just say it.

Yeah, like he was being so upfront and honest about being a freaking porn star. He decided to let it go and focused on what he was going to say to Kevin.

He hadn’t really planned this visit; he just woke up one morning and felt like he had to see his friend. Kevin would get the death penalty for this, Joe was sure about that, and he wanted to see him and thank him for what he did, before that happened. And yes, he did have ulterior motive with asking Nyia to give him a ride. He had a really good feeling about their relationship, and he wanted her to meet his friends. Kevin was one of his friends.

He didn’t think there was something wrong with that.

\------------------------------ -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------

”And this”, Donnie went on, as soon as they both were upstairs, ”will be the nursery, and if you look through the window, over there by those big trees, that’s the pre-school.”

“Did you get hit on the head preventing a robbery or something?” Jon stood still, in the middle of the room, not even blinking, trying to determine if this was actually happening or if he had fallen asleep in his office. “Donnie… What is really going on here? House, kids… This isn’t you! I know you, remember, I’ve known you practically your whole life, and one thing you are not, is domestic. So what’s the deal here?”

Donnie left his spot by the window and went to stand in front of Jon, looking serious.

“Jon…”

“I told you, I can handle this. If you’re doing this just to keep an eye on me…”

“Of course not! I know you’re capable of handling this on your own, but you don’t have to. You have me, you have Danny and Jordan and Joe, you have your mom, your brothers and sisters, so many people, all around you, that love you and want the best for you. I’m not doing this to babysit you, Jonny, I’m doing this because I love you. I want us to be together, somewhere that’s ours, somewhere where you can feel safe… Here, I saved the best for last. Come on!”

They left the nursery and Donnie walked to the far end of the corridor to a closed door, indicating that Jon should open it. It wasn’t a big room, as far as rooms go, but Jon immediately felt a strange sense of calm when he entered. It almost felt like coming home. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was, a smell or just a sense of belonging, but he knew, without even having to ask, that this was his room.

“In case you need a minute or two to yourself, or… if you want to start singing again, you could turn it into a studio or… just sit and read at night when the kids are asleep and you’re waiting for me to come home from work…”

Jon turned around and this time, there was a big smile on his face. He didn’t even notice the way Donnie’s breath hitched or the way he swallowed repeatedly, as if his mouth had gone dry, he was too focused on what had been said.

“So I’m staying home with the kids, am I? Who even said that I wanted children, in the first place?”

“Oh, please, you’ve wanted kids of your own ever since you were a kid. I’ve known you just as long as you have known me, remember? Little Joey Joe didn’t so much latch on to you, as you practically adopted him. You helped raise that boy, and you know it.”

Jon opened his mouth to protest.

“Not to mention the fact that you cried harder than his mom at his graduation!”

And yeah, ok, he couldn’t deny that Joe had a special place in his heart. Or that he loved the idea of having kids of his own. But it was all happening so fast. After everything he had been through, he had honestly thought that Donnie would want to slow things down a bit, or at the very least take him out clubbing a few times before even suggesting something like this.

He loved Donnie, he truly did, with all his heart, but it was happening so fast. And, if he was totally honest with himself, he wasn’t sure that he deserved it. So many wonderful things at once? There had to be some mistake, or a catch that he didn’t know about. He wasn’t anyone special.

“You deserve this, Jon!” Donnie said, as if he had been reading Jon’s mind. “*We* deserve this! You and me, together. So… What do you say?”

“Living together? That’s a pretty big step, Mr Wahlberg, you think we’re ready for that?” But there was a spark in his eyes that hadn’t been there for a long time, and they both knew what the answer would eventually be. Which was why Donnie didn’t answer right away. For a few moments, they stood together and then, Donnie simply said:

“Lunch is over! Time to get back to work.”

He chose not to point out the fact that Jon still had the key. To the house, and to his heart.

\------------------------------ -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------

“What do you mean ‘no visitors’? I called this morning!”

“I’m sorry, sir, if the prisoner is refusing the meeting, there’s not much we can do about that. And he was very adamant about it, I might add; he doesn’t want any visitors. From anyone! I’m sorry, sir!”

Joe wanted to say something really nasty to the officer, who clearly looked like he was hoping that Joe would just turn and leave, but instead, he just sighed. Part of him had dreaded seeing Kevin in jail, but another part of him had been looking forward to it. This had been his golden opportunity to thank Kevin for what he did, for saving Jon’s life, for making sure that… parasite didn’t harm anyone ever again. Why didn’t Kevin want to see him? He felt cheated, having spent all morning in front of a mirror, practicing what he was gonna say and now, it was as if someone had pulled the rug out from under his feet.

“Could you… give him a message? Can you do that, at least?”

He had a nasty tone, he heard it, and the officer definitely heard it, so he took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“What’s the message?”

Joe looked behind him and found that Nyia was still standing a few steps behind, waiting for him. She hadn’t even gone back to the car. She gave him a sad smile, telling him that she understood and she sympathized with him. Joe felt seven feet taller just from that smile, and the look in her eyes. He took another deep breath and turned back towards the officer.

“Tell him… Tell him that Joe said ‘thank you’.”

And with that, he went back to Nyia.

“Well, that was a bust!” he said, smiling despite himself as he realized what he had just said. Nyia acknowledged the joke with a raised eyebrow.

“You wanna get some coffee and talk?”

This woman was a mind-reader. Joe nodded, holding out his hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Jon didn’t really have to think about Donnie’s offer. He had overstayed his welcome at Jordan’s, he knew that. Plus, it was only a matter of time before they decided to turn that guest room into a nursery. Oh, they might not have said anything to anyone yet, but he was the oldest of four children, he’d recognize the signs anywhere. And Donnie was right; the house he had found was really beautiful. Still, he had told Donnie that he needed some time to think about it, basically meaning that he first had to sell his own house, before making any plans to move into a new one.

That decision hadn’t been hard to make. There was nothing left for him in that house. Jordan had packed up most of his stuff in big boxes and moved it to his and Reema’s house, where they now stood, waiting to be unpacked. Any pictures he might want to keep was already packed and honestly, they only thing he would miss was his next door neighbor, Mrs Kessler and her grandson, Jeremy. The sweet old woman had cried when he told her, embracing him like family and wishing him all the luck in the world.

He was lucky! There was no way around that; despite everything, he really felt like the luckiest guy in the world. And Donnie, being Donnie, wasted no time at all in letting the world know that Jon was his now, to the surprise of absolutely no one. There was a light at the end of the dark and gloomy tunnel and Jon felt like running towards it. The day after Donnie had showed him the house, he started making the proper arrangements and informed his brother that he was moving out, and even though both Jordan and Reema insisted that they were happy to have him, he knew that they were secretly relieved to be able to move on with their lives.

Jordan proposed a huge barbeque with family and friends as a ‘moving away’-present and Jon couldn’t really say no to that. He was the luckiest guy in the world, what could possibly go wrong.

\---------- --------- --------

Joey Anaconda was in love! A porn star with what could only be described as a steady girlfriend. It was a first for him, he was used to women being nothing more than a distraction, someone to fuck and then leave as soon as possible, because in his experience, that was all women ever wanted from him. He wasn’t ‘boyfriend’-material, they had told him. He was good for one thing, and one thing only. Normally, they would fit him perfectly. But Nyia… Nyia was different. She made him feel things. He was losing focus on the job, and in his line of work, that was never a good thing. There had been moments when he hadn’t been able to perform properly, and it had sent him headfirst into complete panic mode. Which was why he was so surprised when Sandy, a fluffer at work, told him that it was to be expected when you fall in love with someone. 

“In LOVE?!” Joe had repeated, as if the word was so foreign to him that he didn’t even knew what it meant. And truthfully, he didn’t, not really. He had never been in love before. But Nyia was different than any other woman he had ever met. And the thought of her leaving him, if she ever found out about what he did for a living, was scaring him half to death. He couldn’t even ask to meet any of her friends, of fear that some of them might have seen his performance. It was messing with his head, he had always been proud of his work, he had always liked doing what he did, and now… Now, it felt like he wanted to just take Nyia and run away with her, somewhere far away where no one had even heard of his movies, somewhere where it was just the two of them and the outside world didn’t matter anymore.

Maybe they should go on a trip together. She would like that!

Of course, as soon as his four friends had found out that Joe was in love, they decided that it was time for them to meet his lovely lady. Which was why he took Nyia to the ‘moving away’-barbecue. Joe was extremely nervous. These guys were so much more than just his best friends; they were his family, his brothers from other mothers. He valued their opinion more than anyone else’s and he wanted them to love Nyia like he did. He wanted Nyia to love the guys as much as he did… And he wanted them all to get along without anyone even mentioning the word ‘porn star’. So he was a bit nervous, when he took Nyia’s hand and knocked on the door. He could have just gone round back to the others, but the polite thing to do in situations like this, was to knock on the front door. 

Reema was looking lovelier than ever when she opened the door and smiled at them. She was positively glowing, but Joe, being the youngest child, simply assumed that she was in a really good mood.

“Hey, Joey!” she said, kissing his cheek as he presented her with the bottle of wine they’d bought.

“Hey, beautiful! Everyone here?”

“Yeah, out back! Why don’t you go help Jordan fend off Donnie; that man is hovering around the grill like a bloodhound. –You must be Nyia! I’m Reema, Jordan’s wife! Please, come in!”

“Thank you!”

“So, I…” Reema stopped and turned to give Joe a look. “Joseph!”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Out back!” She repeated, clearly wanting him out of the way so that she could get acquainted with his girlfriend. 

“Yes, ma’am! –Don’t worry”, he said, giving Nyia’s hand a kiss, “you’re in good hands!”

As he left, he heard Reema ask Nyia:

“So, Joe tells me you’re a teacher?”

He felt better already. He went outside, where Jordan was working the grill with Donnie literally hovering like a skittish colt around him, giving all sorts of advice.

“Yeah, but seriously, J, you teach art, not a cooking class! You need to… -Hey, Joe!”

“Yo!”

“You need to flip the burgers every now and then, or they’ll wind up uneven!”

“Well, listen to the expert!” Jordan said, as he blatantly ignored Donnie’s advice. “Alright, Mr Wahlburger, next BBQ, we do at your place and you can boss everyone around as much as you like. But right now, while we are at my house, we go by my rules and the rules are: don’t fuck with the chef, unless you want your meat turned into a piece of charcoal.”

Jon, having just placed the salad on the table out on the patio, looked up, ready to play the referee, and noticed the new arrival.

“Hey, Joe! Where’s your secret ladyfriend?”

“She’s with Reema, getting the tour of the house.” Joe took a deep breath, looking at his four friends. “Listen, fellas, I need your help. How do I tell Nyia about the porn?”

“Jesus, Joe”, Donnie sighed, “I thought you were going to tell her about that last week?”

“Well, I was, OK? I was going to, and then… other things sort of… got in the way of that and I… forgot about it.”

“You couldn’t keep the snake in the cage anymore?” Danny was grinning at him.

“Fuck you, Danny, it wasn’t like that! We haven’t even done that yet!”

“Seriously? You do it professionally, Joe, what’s the big deal?”

“The big deal”, Jon pointed out, with only a tiny hint of a teasing grin, “is that he’s in l-o-v-e with this one!”

“Nyia, she’s… It’s different with her! She’s a…

“Popsicle?” Jon suggested, a look of innocence on his face.

“Shut up!” Joe muttered, turning bright red. He regretted ever telling Jon about that damn poem.

“No, it was cute… ‘From the very first time I met you, girl, you captured me… All I know is that you make me feel so fancy free’… Wait, don’t tell me… ‘Sweeter than candy, better than cake, And every time we kiss it feels oh, so great’…”

“You are so dead, Jon!”

“I’m sorry, but… Joe, seriously? You’ve been on how many dates now? You write poetry, for crying out loud… This is the One, isn’t it?”

“Why do you think I’m so scared of her finding out?” Joe admitted.

“Then tell her the truth!” Danny offered.

“And what if she leaves me? What if she never wants to see me again?”

“That’s a risk you’ll have to take, Joe!” Jordan said.

“She deserves to know the truth about you!” Danny agreed.

“Just be prepared for the worst! And if she gives you an ultimatum, you think good and hard about what’s more important to you, this girl, or making your movies.”

Joe sighed. He really didn’t know the answer to that one. Donnie seized the opportunity to steal a piece of meat from the grill, chewing loudly. Jordan simply glared at him.

“Un…even!”

\------- -------- -------

Reema was almost done with the tour of the house when Sally came out from the kitchen.

“Ree, where do you want the… Oh, hello! I’m Sally, I’m Danny’s wife!”

Nyia extended her hand to the blonde woman and smiled. She had heard a lot about Danny from Joe (“Good man, good cop, best friend a guy could ever have, and you should see his tats…”).

“Hi, I’m…”

“Nyia, I know!” Sally smiled at her. “Joey hasn’t stopped talking about you for weeks. He’s really into you, that boy. Jon said he caught Joe actually writing a poem about you.”

“He did?” Niya’s eyes got so big, it looked like they might pop out of her head.

“Something about a popsicle or something. Jon said it was really sweet.”  
“Look, Nyia”, Reema said, her smile now gone from her pretty face, “we’re a tightly knit group…”

“We’re family!”

“Especially the guys! They’ve been together since they were kids, there is nothing they wouldn’t do for each other!”

“Literally!” Sally added and Nyia saw her and Reema exchange a look that said that there was a story behind this. She wanted to ask, but it would be rude of her, so she decided to let it go. She had a feeling that Joe would tell her, if he wanted to. She remembered that day in the car when he had told her about his friend committing a murder… Could that be what they were talking about? Should she tell them that she already knew?

“Joe means a lot to all of us! We want him to be happy! And I don’t think I have ever seen him as happy as he’s been these past few weeks. You’re good for him.”

That made her smile. Joe had become someone truly special to her in these past few weeks and she was well on her way of falling completely in love with him. It had happened so suddenly that she had been caught off guard, but it might have been that day, when Joe wasn’t allowed to see his friend and he had looked at her with a defeated, hopeless look on her face, that she first realized that she wanted to be more than just friends.

So far, they hadn’t really done anything beyond some really intense makeout sessions, and there was a part of Nyia that wondered if maybe Joe was one of those rare people that wanted to wait with anything sexual until after they were married… She could see him in a tuxedo, though, he would be so handsome…

Sally put an arm around Nyia’s shoulders, smiling reassuringly.

“We’re nice people, Nyia, we really are, it’s just that we’ve had some… bad experiences recently and we have trust issues with newcomers; that’s all!”

“No, it’s ok, I totally understand!” And she did. It warmed her heart that Joe had such loyal friends.

“Good! Now, you have to tell us… What’s it like, dating a porn star?”


	15. Chapter 15

Nyia blinked a few times. She must have heard wrong.

“Excuse me?”

“No, not like that!” 

“We don’t need to know about…. *that* part!”

“No, I meant… It takes a strong woman to accept that her man does something like that. If it were me… knowing that I had to share Jordan with others… strange men and women who knew my man in a way that only I’m supposed to…? Yeah, I don’t think I could do it!”

“Me neither!” Sally agreed. “Danny and his goods belong to me. Anyone tried to get their hands on them, I don’t care who you are; I have nails and I know how to use them!”

Nyia took a deep breath… and then another, as her brain worked overtime with this new information. This didn’t make any sense, why would… And then, the sinking feeling that they both thought she already knew about this. Which meant that they thought that Joe had told her about it. Which mean that her boyfriend…. Oh, god! She suddenly had trouble breathing.

“Is there a… I need to…”

“Oh, sure, sweetie, it’s out in the hall, first door on the left!”

Nyia tried giving them a shaky smile and stumbled off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. In fact, it felt like her whole body was shaking and she forced herself to take a few deep breaths.

Joe was a porn star?! She pictured him in front of her, that charming smile, those intense blue eyes, the nervous way he held her hand on their first date… And she also remembered how he had avoided talking about his work; how he, almost effortlessly, had steered the conversation over to something else… He had told her everything about himself, but he had never told her what he did for a living. She had thought that he was unemployed at first, but his apartment had class and he always insisted on paying for her meal when they went out, even though she always declined.

He was a PORN star?!

She was looking at herself in the mirror, berating herself for being such a fool and having such juvenile fantasies about marrying a virgin, when she thought she heard someone mention her name. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she placed her ear against the door to hear what they were saying.

“She’s in the bathroom, washing up!” Sally said. “I really like that girl, you should see how her eyes sparkle when she’s talking about Joey, I think we have a winner here!”

“That’s good!” a male voice said. “But I need you to help out here! Don’t tell her about Joey’s porn business, ok? He hasn’t told her yet!”

“What?!

“I thought he did that last week?” she heard Reema say, and took another deep breath. Last week? He had had several weeks to tell her, and he hadn’t said a damn word!

“He chickened out! I don’t blame him; this isn’t something you just blurt out to someone.”

“Oh, god… Donnie, we just told her!”

“Why would… What made you… Why?!”

“I didn’t know! I thought he had already told her!”

“And honestly, if he cared about her, he should have done that a long time ago!”

“He’s IN LOVE with this woman, did you not hear what I was saying?! You think telling someone something like this is easy? He’s out there, begging for help, because he’s worried sick that she’s gonna up and leave him once she finds out. What, exactly, did you say to her, and how did she react?!”

“I… We were just telling her what a strong woman she is… willing to share her man with others… Oh, god, I feel awful! No wonder she ran out of here!”

Nyia leaned her forehead against the door. This was more than she could handle. This was too much for her, she had to get out of here… How could she even look them in the eye after something like this?! How was she supposed to face Joe after this?! She had to leave!

But she found that the very thought of leaving, of never seeing Joe again, was causing her chest to hurt. She couldn’t do it. She had fallen in love with this man; she didn’t know how to fall out of love with him. Joe was everything she had ever looked for, he was handsome, he was funny, he had the most amazing laugh and she knew that he felt the same. There was something between them, something big, and she had never had that with any of her other boyfriends.

So if she asked him to stop… Would he? Would he do that for her? Could they make that work? The movies would still be out there, people would still look at them, seeing *her* man getting’ busy with other people…

Everyone had a past! She knew that! Everyone had a past, and a present and a future… If Joe wanted any kind of future with her, he would have to stop. Now! Effective immediately!

Was he worth it, though? Had any of her friends seen him?! Had he been with any of her friends? How many women had he actually been with?! Oh, and men, apparently! Not just women, but men, too! Was it really worth it?!

There was only one way to find out!

She took another deep breath and opened the door.

\------- -------- ---------- 

Donnie was just about to throw good manners out the window, when they heard the bathroom door open and Nyia came back into the kitchen. He allowed himself a moment to do some inspection.

She might not be what society these days would qualify as supermodel material, but there was something about her that piqued his interest. Her skin made him think of black coffee with just a little bit of cream and she had the biggest eyes he had ever seen on a woman. She wasn’t tall, she wasn’t skinny, and her hair was black like midnight on a moonless night, and Joe was completely sold on her. Normally, he would go out of his way to charm this sweet lady, but he knew that this sweet lady had just had the chock of a lifetime. He had to mend this, as best as he could.

Before Reema or Sally could say something, he walked up to her, stretching out his hand.

“Nyia… Are you ok, can I get you anything?” he asked, smoothly assuming the role of Good Cop, ready to serve and protect. If this girl wanted him to call her a cab, then that’s what he would do, but he had to make sure first. Had to do some damage control. “Detective Donnie Wahlberg, at your service!” There was a spark of recognition in her eyes, and Donnie figured that Joe probably told her about all his friends.

And then, she smiled at him, and Donnie could suddenly see exactly why Joe had fallen in love with this woman. She had the most amazing smile. It made her whole face lit up.

“I was starting to think you were make-believe!” she said, still smiling. “Joe talks about you as if you’re some kind of super hero.”

“Just doing my job, ma’am! Donnie said, sounding professional, but gave her a playful wink at the same time. He looked over at the lady of the house. “Ree, the Head Chef is demanding that I help you with the plates. I think he feels threatened by my very existence! But if you ladies don’t mind, I thought I would take the lovely Ms Nyia outside and show her to her seat. –I don’t know about you, Ms Nyia, but I could sure use the fresh air.”

He extended his arm towards Nyia, who took it after a moment’s hesitation, without even looking at Reema or Sally. Donnie gave her a calming smile, not wanting the girl Joe was so obviously in love with to think that they were all a bunch of weirdoes. 

“We all might come off as a little crazy sometimes, but you see; that’s just the way we are with each other. The five of us, we go way back, we’ve all known each other since we were kids. I guess you could say that we have this… bond between us. We’re more than just friends, we’re brothers.”

He took her outside and spotted Joe talking to Jordan. Leaning a bit closer to Nyia, he said in a low voice:

“It’s not my place, but… Joe’s a great guy and he thinks the world of you. Before you do anything, hear him out, ok? At least give him that much.”

He saw her looking at Joe and it was clear that whatever feelings Joe might have, they were mutual. Hopefully, they could talk it out before anything happened. Donnie took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Jordan came over to them.

“Nyia? Hi, I’m Jordan, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you, Joe has told us so much about you. I hope you’re hungry; we’ve got enough to feed the whole neighborhood. Here, grab a plate! What can I get you? We’ve got your basics, and we’ve got your specials… We’ve got meat, we’ve got vegetables, there’s fruit, bread, drinks… Pick your poison!”

Nyia accepted the plate he held out towards her and looked around to see where to start. Donnie grabbed a plate for himself and one for Jon, since he still had some problems using his broken hand, and started shoveling food on both. He might complain about how the meat was cooked, but he had no problem eating it when it was actually done. Also, it was fun to tease Jordan; he was such an easy target. Jordan, being the perfect host, simply ignored him and kept on conversing with Nyia, who commented on the lovely garden.

“Yeah, I can’t take the credit for that one, that’s the missus! Reema’s the one with green fingers. Why don’t you go sit over there, and I’ll get Joe to fix you something to drink? What will it be? We’ve got beer, red wine, white wine, water, soda, milk… Name it!”

“Wine! Red!”

She took her plate and went to sit where Jordan had pointed, right next to Jon, who was busy cutting up bread. When he noticed her, he offered her one of them.

As soon as he was certain that Nyia’s attention was elsewhere, Donnie turned to Jordan.

“She knows!”

Jordan looked over at Joe, and then back to Donnie.

“You sure? Joe’s been here the whole time…”

“Your lovely wife! Her and Sally! They thought Joe had already told her, so they were asking for specifics.”

Jordan wrinkled his forehead a bit.

“She’s still here, though. Is she ok with it?”

“No idea! We need to tell Joe, though.”

They both looked at Joe this time, wondering just what the hell they would say.

\------- ------- -------

It didn’t take long for everyone to take their seat and start eating and within minutes, it was clear to everyone that dinner was a complete success. Everyone was having a great time! They ate their food and drank their wine and talked and laughed as minutes turned into hours. The ‘tightly knit group’ had instantly made Nyia one of their own and she was talking and laughing like she had been a part of their family for years. She was, however, a bit distant at times, and looking over at Joey, time and time again, with an odd look on her face. Whenever Joey would meet her eyes, she smiled at him, but it was obvious that her head was somewhere else.

She watched the interactions between Joe and his friends. She should probably feel like an outsider, not understanding certain looks and private jokes, but she didn’t. They wer all so welcoming and friendly, doing everything they could to make her feel like she… well… belonged with them. When she excused herself to use the bathroom, every single one of the male guests shot up from their seats, revealing a good and proper upbringing.

It made her smile.

And then, she remembered what they had said about Joe… about what he did… and she had to take a few calming breaths to keep her dinner down. It didn’t make any sense. The Joe she knew wasn’t the type of guy who would… do that. Or was she just being naïve and innocent?

There was no way around it, she had to talk to Joe about this, she had to find out from him.

She had her hand on the door, barely opened, when she heard approaching footsteps and she quickly shut the door again, not wanting whoever it was to think that she was hiding from them.

\------- ------- -------

“What’s wrong, man?” Danny was used to most of Donnie’s antics by now, but he couldn’t figure out what was going on with his partner this time. One minute, he was on the phone and the next, he was dragging Danny inside the house. Whatever it was, D didn’t want anyone else to know.

“That was Byers… Kevin’s dead!”

Danny blinked. Oh, that was… And then he remembered and he felt his heart skip a beat. OH!

“Natural causes?” He felt stupid even saying it, knowing what he knew, and Donnie gave him a skeptical look.

“Looks like an overdose!” he said, and Danny’s heart did that skipping thing again, making his chest hurt. Poor Kevin!

“Poor bastard!”

“They’re calling it accidental for now, but I very much doubt that they will conduct any serious investigation to find out what really happened.”

What really happened… Danny looked around quickly, making sure that they were indeed alone.

“Donnie… What we did…”

“…Was to help an old friend who did what neither one of us could have done. He saved Jon’s life! Helping him die was the least we could do!”

Doing it was one thing. Hearing Donnie say it out loud was something completely different. Danny swallowed.

“Fuck, man… If they find out about this…”

“Who’s gonna tell them?! Not one single person out there would care one bit.”

He was right. If anything, Jordan and the others would probably thank them for what they had done. That didn’t make him feel any better about it, though. In his heart, he knew that they had done the right thing, but his head was screaming at him about repercussions and breaking the law, lying to superior officers and helping a confessed killer escape justice.

“So are you gonna tell Jon?” he asked, finally. “He’s gonna find out about Kevin sooner or later anyway. Might be better if he hears it from you.”

“Yeah, and say what, exactly? That Kevin killed himself and we supplied the drugs for him to do it?! No, he’s better off not knowing. At least not tonight. He doesn’t need any bad energy right now.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing, man! I really hope that you know what you are doing.”

“Right now, I am going to fetch another beer and then I’m going back out there to enjoy a lovely dinner with my friends. You coming?”

Danny sighed, and then he nodded and followed Donnie into the kitchen.

\------- ------- -------

Dessert was served, and more drinks with that, and then, Jon told everyone that he had found a house and that he would be moving out of the guestroom shortly.

“I know when I have overstayed my welcome!” he said, downing the last of what was in his glass. “And besides”, he added, not really thinking before speaking, “you guys will turn that room into a nursery in just a couple of months, so the timing is perfect!”

There were a few seconds of stunned silence and then a loud shriek from Sally, everyone’s attention turned to Reema, who was turning bright red.

“Oh, my god! You’re pregnant?!”

“Holy shit, you guys, that is so awesome!”

Reema looked over to her husband, who simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Told you we should have done it before dinner!”

As they all scrambled out of their seats, knocking down the occasional glass as they offered hugs and kisses and congratulations and asked millions of questions about ‘When’ and ‘What is it’ and ‘Do you have a name picked out’, Reema had to agree that her husband had a point. Jon promised to babysit as often as he could and promised to build a swing-set in his new backyard and possibly a sandbox for the kid to play with.

“It’s a lovely gesture, Jon”, Reema said, “but honestly, we’re sad to see you go.“

“I know that, Ree, and I appreciate everything you and Jordan have done for me, but I have thought about this for a long time and… I think this is exactly what I need right now. A fresh start!” He looked over at Donnie, sitting on his left side, trying to look innocent and failed miserably.

“So… You’ll be living alone, then?” Jordan asked, smirking as he looked as his brother and his best friend.

“I think it will work out, I… I have a roommate!”

“A ‘roommate’?” Danny asked, looking from Jon to Donnie, his eyebrow raised. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

“I have no idea what they are talking about!” Jon said, feigning innocence. “You?” he asked Donnie, who shook his head, looking just as baffled.

“No idea!”

“Guys, seriously, I think this is probably the best news we’ve had in a long time!” Joe gave them both a big smile, completely ignoring the incredulous look he got from Jordan. “So… Let’s talk house warming party…”

Jon gave Joe a warm smile.

“Slow down, little man! We’re doing this step by step! Step one; we buy a house! Step two is where we move in to said house! Step three…”

“…Is where you marry me!”

Jon, caught completely off guard, could only stare at Donnie, and the gasps and whispered ‘oh, my god’ were completely lost in the loud buzzing in his ears.

“What?”

There was a sharp intake of breath from just about everyone present, as Donnie slid off his chair and went down on one knee, taking Jon’s shaking hand in his.

“What… What are you doing?”

“I’m proposing! Look, everybody here knows that this is how it should have been, how it always should be. We belong together, Jon, in this life and the next. I have no idea what my future is like, I don’t even know what I’ll be doing five years from now… All I know is… The only thing I’m sure of… is that without you, there is no future for me. I came this close to losing you forever, and I don’t ever want to go through that ever again. I love you! I have loved you since the moment we met! And I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. I don’t have much to offer you, except my eternal love!”

Everyone else around the table was holding their breath as Donnie held out a ring.

“You already have my heart, my body and my soul… Now, accept my ring, as well! You’ve always been mine, Jon, now it’s time for us to make it official. You know there is nothing… absolutely nothing… that I wouldn’t do for you… So, I’m asking you, if you would do me this honor… my very own Knight, my soulmate… Will you marry me?”

Jon wasn’t sure that he could trust his voice at the moment, so he nodded.

He would probably have found his voice eventually, and given verbal confirmation, if Donnie hadn’t pulled him close and kissed him. 

\------- ------- -------

This was quickly turning into one of the best nights of Joe’s life. The good news just kept on coming, and watching Donnie and Jon together was making him so happy, it felt like his heart might explode. He didn’t even give them a moment to breathe, he all but jumped up from his chair and ran over to the two of them, wanting to be the very first to congratulate them. After everything that had happened lately, he wanted nothing more than to see Jon happy again. Yes, it was fantastic news that Reema was pregnant, Joe knew they had been trying for a while, but Jon was his sun, his hero, and he almost died and Joe wanted to wrap himself around the other man and never let go.

“I’m so happy for you!” he said, hugging Jon as hard as he possibly could. And then, as if remembering that Donnie was there, too, he let go of Jon and hugged Donnie as well. “Both of you!”

“Thanks, Joe!”

“Hey, Joe, where’s Nyia?”

“Bathroom! She said something about too much wine… I can’t believe she missed this. Listen, you and Donnie…”

“I really like her, Joe! Make sure you don’t let this one go, ok?”

“Of course not, never! No, I know exactly what to do now! But… You guys have GOT to let me be in charge of the bachelor parties! It’s gonna be far out! I can guarantee it!”

He saw Jon and Donnie exchange a look, but it didn’t bother him, he was way too excited. Hell, he was already making plans!

“I don’t know, Joe… You were in charge of my bachelor party last time, and look how that turned out!”

Joe looked taken aback for about two seconds, and then the smile was back.

“My point exactly! I need to redeem myself! Come on, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”

“Do you really want me to start a list?” Donnie said, but he was smiling and Joe was on a roll.

“Come on, guys, there are benefits of being best pals with a porn star, why not let me take advantage of my seedy connections and give you the best…”

And then he froze. Standing not six feet away, definitely within hearing range, was Nyia, staring at him, her eyes even wider than his own. Joe turned white as a ghost. No!

“…Nyia…”

She looked at him, then at the others, then turned and left.

“Oh, boy!” Danny muttered.

“Don’t just stand there, you idiot”, Donnie said, giving Joe a nudge, “run!”


	16. Chapter 16

Joe ran after Nyia, catching up to her in the hallway.

“Nyia!”

“I’ve called a cab, it’ll be here in five minutes…”

“I can explain!”

“Explain? Explain?! Explain what, Joe? That you’re a damn porn star?! Thanks, I got that!”

“Nyia, please… I should have told you, I know that…”

“So why didn’t you?” Nyia asked, her eyes filling up with tears. “Huh? Why not just tell me? Why wait until we were dating? Why wait until I had fallen in love with you? Why wait until I had to hear it from Sally and Reema who, by the way, thought you already told me. Last week! People I don’t even know, asking me what it’s like to date a porn star…”

“You’re in love with me?”

Nyia suddenly realized what she had said and looked down at her feet, not answering the question.

“Nyia… I’m sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about what I did, I was scared; I was worried that if I told you, then you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore, and you would leave me.”

Nyia didn’t say anything, but her eyes said plenty.

“And that thought scared me more than anything ever had, because I don’t want to lose you… Nyia, I’m in love with you!

A few seconds of silence followed where they just stood, and stared at each other.

“It’s true!” Joe said, taking a small step forward. “And I’ve never actually been in love before, so it came as a bit of a surprise. But yeah… I love you!”

As the seconds went by, Joe could literally feel his heart stop beating. If she left him now, he wasn’t sure he would be able to take it. He knew it was a lot to take in, he knew he was asking a lot, but he couldn’t help but hold on to a tiny sliver of hope. She hadn’t left yet. She was still standing there and she was listening to him, so maybe, just maybe, he would be able to get through to her.

“So… How many?”

“Movies?”

“People, Joe; how many women have you… done it with?”

Joe sighed. Really?! She wanted numbers? What good would come out of that?!

“Nyia…”

“Tell me!”

“37!” Joe said, quickly subtracting 20 from the actual number in his head.

Nyia took a deep breath.

“How many men?

“22!” Joe said, subtracting 20 again, just to be on the safe side.

Nyia nodded slowly.

“You know this isn’t gonna work out…”

“Nyia, please…”

“I can’t… It’s too much, and I… if they found out about this at work… A school teacher with a porn star boyfriend, there is no way…”

“Then I’ll quit!”

“What?”

“I’m serious! You want me to choose between you and the job? Fine! Done! I’ll call Gerry right now and tell him. Just… Please, don’t go, Nyia, please, don’t leave me! You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will do anything I can to prove that to you. If you want me to make a choice, right here and now, I’ll do it. And I’ll choose you! I love you, Nyia, just… Stay a little while. We can talk about this. Just the two of us. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. We can make this work, Nyia, I know we can, just… Give me a chance!

“Would you really do that? If I asked you to make that choice…”

“You would win! I can always find another job, but I will never meet someone like you again. Just… Tell me you’ll stay… Please, don’t go!”

Nyia took a deep breath, and then another one, Joe waiting anxiously, until she finally looked up.

“I’m not saying yes…” She began, and something in her voice made Joe’s heart start beating again. “But I’m not saying no, either!”

“I accept that!” Joe was quick to tell her. Hell, he would probably agree to just about anything right now. Anything to keep her from walking out of his life.

“I need time to think about this, and we need to have a serious talk. If we’re gonna do this, I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. No lies, no keeping things from me, nothing! Complete honesty! Understood?”

“Absolutely! Clear as crystal!” He could do complete honesty. Whatever she wanted to know, he would tell her. Anything, if it meant that she wouldn’t leave. It was crazy, feeling so strongly about someone he had known barely a month, but maybe that’s how love worked. It hit you when you least suspect it.

“Alright!” She suddenly turned at the sound of a car approaching. “The cab’s here!”

Joe nodded. He understood. She needed time to think and he had no problem giving that, as long as there was a chance for them. His heart beating rapidly in his chest, he took a step back, indicating that he was not gonna prevent her from leaving.

“I’ll… I’ll let the others know that you’re ok.”

Nyia gave him a long look and then, she sighed.

“Or… we could go back to my place and continue this conversation in private.”

Joe wasn’t sure he had heard that one right. And then he nodded.

“Should I… tell them we’re leaving?”

Nyia shook her head as she opened the door.

“No!” she said. “Let’s just go!”

He didn’t offer his hand, and she didn’t reach for his, but they walked together, side by side, to the waiting cab.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“You really are unbelievable!” Jon half whispered to Donnie as soon as they had a few seconds to themselves. Donnie just smiled at him, acting all innocent.

“Thanks, babe, I love you too!”

“Don’t give me that innocent look, mister! Don’t think for a minute that I don’t know what you’re doing!”

“And what is it that I am doing?” Donnie asked, still innocent. Jon just gave him a look that clearly said that he wasn’t buying it.

“You’re trying to upstage Jordan! Stealing his thunder!”

“Me?! Why would I do that?”

“Donnie… You already asked me, this morning, remember?”

Donnie sighed, he knew that the jig was up. He had asked Jon that very morning, had blurted out the suggestion that they should get married, not even halfway through breakfast, prompting Jon to point out that ‘that was a pretty crappy proposal’ and ‘can we at least finish breakfast before we start setting the date’. They had both smiled then, knowing that Jon had essentially just agreed to marry Donnie.

“Well, yeah, but… I didn't really ask, though, did, i, I just assumed that... And I didn’t have a ring, it was a spur of the moment-kind of thing. I wanted this to be done properly, because I didn’t want you to think that it was all talk.”

“Nothing ever is with you, Donnie Wahlberg!” Jon pointed out. He was still smiling, though, so Donnie took that as a good sign.

“So… me upstaging your brother…”

“Is fine by me!” Jon admitted. “For now!” he added, trying to look serious. “Just don’t let it happen again!”

Donnie raised an appreciative eyebrow.

“Are you bossing me around already? Cause I think I like that!

“Just shut up and kiss me!”

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Both Reema and Sally had been anxiously staring towards the house, waiting for any sign or sound that might tell them what was going on and finally, Reema called out to her husband.

“Have you seen Joe or Nyia?”

Jordan looked around, scratching his head a bit as he finished his drink. He couldn’t remember seeing Joe since he ran after Nyia, but that was a while ago. Could they still be talking? His head felt a bit fuzzy, but he was sure that he would have remembered seeing Joe come back out… Right?

“No, I haven’t seen him! –Dan?”

“Me neither!”

“God, I hope everything is ok!” Reema said. Sally was looking extremely guilty.

“I never would have… If I had known, I wouldn’t… Of course I wouldn’t, but I thought he had already told her!”

“We really thought she knew!” Reema agreed. “We never would have said anything if we had known… He really should have told her sooner, though. Keeping something like that a secret… Sooner or later, something like this was bound to happen!”

There was a tense moment of silence.

“I really hope they can work it out. I really like Nyia!”

“Yeah, me too!” Jordan said as he approached them, going to stand behind his wife, arms around her waist, hands on her still flat belly. His wife always accused him of being overly affectionate when he was drunk, but come on, the woman was carrying his child! “I think she would be good for Joe… if he could get his head out of his ass and get a real job.”

“You could use him in your art class, J… as a nude model!” Danny suggested, getting the others to laugh.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I need”, Jordan scoffed, “every single student in my class passing out the second he drops his robe.”

“Why not? It might be good for you!”

“What?” Donnie asked, coming closer with Jon beside him.

“I was just suggesting to J that Joe could get a job as a nude model in his art class!”

Donnie nodded.

“It’s not a bad idea, J! Plus, it might get that Amanda chick off your back for a while.”

Jordan turned slightly pale.

“Who is Amanda!” Reema asked, her voice kind, but her eyes icy.

“Thanks, man!” Jordan muttered and Donnie shrugged.

“Sorry, dude!”

“It’s nothing, just this student of mine who has a little crush on me. She’s harmless, Ree, you don't have to worry about it.”

“Oh, I’m not worried, baby, I believe in you, I believe in us… It’s her I don’t trust! Girls that age can get really crazy sometimes when they’re after something that they know they can’t have… 

“I know, but I can’t help it if she happens to find me deadly attractive… It’s not like she’s wrong!” Jordan smirked.

“Dude, stop talking!” Jon stage-whispered to him as Reema turned to stare at her husband. Donnie leaned in closer to whisper in his ear and Jon nodded. It was time to abandon ship!

“I think it’s time to go, it’s getting really late!”

“I think you’re right!” Danny agreed, his trademark grin big and wide as he took Sally’s hand. Sally nodded, taking his hand, doing her best not to look over at a very flustered Jordan. “This was fun, we should do it again some time!”

“But perhaps without the drama? Sally suggested.

The four of them swiftly made their exit, leaving Jordan alone to explain himself to his wife.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

It wasn’t like Joe was ashamed of what he did for a living; he’d been doing it for several years and he was pretty damn good at it, too, but if Nyia wanted him to quit, and he was fairly certain that she would want him to, if they were to be in any kind of relationship, then that’s what he would do.

She hadn’t said a word during the ride home, and only asked if he wanted a drink when they came into her apartment, so Joe wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling. She had just gotten a severe shock, though, so it might take a while for her to start asking any questions. But he would tell her, whatever she asked, he would tell her. Complete honesty, no secrets, that’s what she wanted and that’s what he was gonna give her.

Well…

He wasn’t going to give her any details. He had to draw the line somewhere, obviously. She had asked how many men he’d slept with, so that meant either Sally or Reema sold him out on that one. Not that he would blame them, he should have told her a long time ago. But he had chickened out, every time, and now, here they were, and he had no choice but to face the consequences of his cowardice.

He went into the living room to sit down as she fixed them both drinks. He wasn’t altogether sure that more alcoholic beverages was what he needed right now, but hey, maybe liquid courage was exactly what he needed to be able to do this.

“Actually”, he said, before he could stop himself, “I think coffee would be better!”

What he needed was a clear head. He wasn’t really sober, but if he ended up making a fool of himself now, when he was so close, he would never forgive himself.

She came into the living room after another minute or so, sitting down on the couch. As she turned to look at him, Joe made a conscious decision right then and there to completely ignore the complete honesty-part. There was no way in any universe that she would stay with him if she knew the whole story. If it had just been those first movies he made, when he was young and stupid and didn’t realize that he was sitting on a goldmine, when he was all about the ladies, all about vanilla, all that wide-eyed innocence… If it had been just that, then yes, absolute honesty.

But that was a long time and a lot of movies ago. He didn’t do vanilla anymore. You didn’t win the Golden Cock five years in a row for making vanilla… He might have to hide those now… store them away, perhaps… along with the toys, obviously, she might not appreciate that… Would she make him get rid of the sex swing?! Yeah, he was going to have to find a big storage unit and get the guys to help him move his stuff… They owed him, outing him like that before he had the opportunity to do it properly… Most of the stuff he had were gifts from them, anyway. Ok, some of it were stolen from different movies, but most of it were gifts from the guys.

Yeah, no, complete honesty won’t work here. If he wanted to keep Nyia, he would have to lie. Wrap the truth in a comfortable lie and hope that she would accept it. She was way too good to hear about the other stuff. She wasn’t ready for that.

“So…” he said, taking a deep breath. “What do you want to know?”


	17. Chapter 17

Joe and Nyia never told anyone what they talked about that night, but when Jon and Donnie called Joe two days later to ask him out to lunch, making sure that their friend was alright, both Joe and Nyia showed up, holding hands as they approached them. Both Jon and Donnie took this as a good sign.

Joe had started calling the two of them Donathan, claiming that it was like they were one person. Neither Donnie, nor Jon seemed to take any offence, though, and by the end of the day, they would hear it from almost every single person they knew. The name seemed to spread like wildfire and by the end of the week, even Jon’s mother had started using it, to the delight of everyone.

Jon and Donnie had started sleeping together. Just sleeping, though. They were perfectly aware that the rest of the world thought they were screwing like bunnies in every room of their new house. The truth of the matter was that, apart from some really heavy make out-sessions, they hadn’t actually had sex yet. Not for lack of opportunity or feeling that they should wait until the time was right or any of that stuff. They’d had plenty of opportunity where they both were ready, willing and able… and then, the memories would come. Memories of late nights, of feeling cheap, of feeling used and dirty, of bruises that didn’t fade for days, memories of rape, of blood, of praying to a complete stranger with the face of a loved one to just please, stop, because it hurt, and only getting obscenities in return.

Jon would tense up at every touch! It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with Donnie in that way. In fact, there was nothing he would rather do than be physical with his fiancé, it was something he had fantasized about since he was a teenager, but his body had other ideas. It remembered what happened before, froze up and refused to co-operate. And Donnie, being the amazing person that he was, simply kissed him and held him close and told him that it was ok, they could wait and nothing would ever make him stop loving Jon, no matter what happened.

“You’re here! With me! You’re safe! That’s all that matters to me!”

The call came at 4.27 am on a Wednesday. Donnie was used to getting called in at any time, day or night; that came with the job, but he had been expecting this call. Every bone in his body had been waiting for this particular call. He reached for his cell, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty by his side.

“Yeah?”

All things considered, he took the news rather well. He took a deep breath and counted to 10.

“When? Natural causes? Really? Wait, so… What does that even mean? Poor bastard! Ok, thanks for telling me. Yeah!”

He didn’t even have to look to know that Jon was awake, looking at him. Donnie took another deep breath. There was only one way to do this.

“Kevin’s dead!” he said, turning around to face Jon. “They… found him in his cell this morning. He was found with a needle in his arm…” He took a deep breath. Now for the part he had not been expecting. “Kevin was dying, Jon! He had lung cancer... because of the cocaine. Doc said that he’d had it for a long time, he was basically a dead man walking…”

He didn’t say it, but he didn’t have to. Doc said that Kevin should have died months ago. So that meant that Kevin must have known all along that he was sick, and he just refused to give in to his condition until he had paid his debt to Jon. That’s why he didn’t want to go with them to the station; he was going to kill himself. He probably would have died anyway, without the drugs that Donnie and Danny smuggled in to him. But this way, they made sure that he got the chance to choose for himself when he was gonna check out.

Jon nodded, trying to stay strong, but Donnie knew better. He knew the man like he knew his own heart, they were one, he knew that this was devastating news for Jon and he moved in closer to put his arm around the other man and pull him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry, baby!” he said, as Jon buried his face in Donnie’s chest and cried. “I’m so sorry!”

He held on tight and felt his eyes burn. He thought he would feel guilty, or at the very least feel bad about what he had done, but all he felt was sadness, underneath a tremendous feeling of relief and gratitude. This was one secret his beloved would never find out about. This was one act that he would take to his grave.

Kevin had helped Donnie by saving the life of the man he loved.

Donnie had helped Kevin in return.

\--- --- --- --- ---

If there was one thing that people had noticed in the weeks to come, it was the remarkable change in Jon’s behavior. Those who had known him since he was a boy were glad to see him back to his old self again, but those who had gotten to know him while he was married to Harley, initially thought that he was either on drugs or recovering from a brain transplant. Because he was a completely different person! He smiled more, he told a LOT of dirty jokes and he had no problems publicly displaying his affections for the man he was about to marry.

And he started singing again!

At first, it was just a joke, a dare that he accepted… and a thinly veiled threat from Donnie about locating Mr Petersen and see if he was still teaching.

“We could even invite him to the wedding!” Donnie had said, grinning from ear to ear. Jon had just given him a look of complete innocence and asked:

“Are you really willing to take that risk?”

Donnie had laughed, Jon had smiled and walked away, humming to himself, some old song about kissing a teacher, and Donnie had stopped laughing and realized that that maybe he wasn’t quite ready to take that risk.

So there was no locating Mr Petersen, but the idea stayed with Jon and it didn’t take long for him to find a choir and started singing again.

\--- --- --- --- ---

Jon had dreamed about this day, had dreamed about walking down the aisle with Donnie’s hand nearly covering his own, music playing, everyone beaming at them.

That didn’t mean he didn’t struggle not to pinch himself now that it was actually happening.

“You okay?” Jon tried to smile at the question, but Jordan sure as hell wasn’t buying it. 

“Nervous” he admitted, tugging at his collar and trying not to look around the little office in which he was getting dressed. 

“Stop that, you’ll mess it up.” Jordan batted his hands away, smirking at his plight.

“But I can’t breathe” he whimpered miserably, looking at his brother with pleading eyes.

“That has nothing to do with the neck stock. Stop tugging.”

Jon pouted a bit, looking over at Danny for assistance, but Danny had always been immune to his puppy dog eyes and seemed content to drag him out through the door, down the small gravel path, and over to the grand doors to the church itself. 

Where Donnie stood.

Oh God, Donnie was standing at the stairs and waiting for him.

Jon couldn’t breathe.

“Hey” dark brown eyes watched him carefully, and he tried to smile back. Wanted to explain why anxiety was suddenly making him want to puke. Or run. Or both.

“I love you” Donnie said quietly as he took his hand.

The anxiety vanished, leaving only that giddiness that had been buzzing about in his stomach since he’d woken up this morning.

Hand in hand, smiling like besotted fools, they entered the church.

\--- --- --- --- ---

Jordan caught up with Joe and Nyia as soon as Danny had left with Jon. He had a big surprise for his brother and he needed to make sure that everything was in order.

“You guys ready for this?”

“Absolutely! Don’t worry, J, we got this!”

“Good, good! –Nyia, thank you so much for doing this, I don’t… I am so grateful that…”

“It’s my pleasure, Jordan!”

“Don’t just stand around here, dude, you’re the best man, you’re supposed to be up there with Danny and the grooms.”

“Right! I’m off! Just be ready for the…”

“Go!”

So he did. Joe shook his head slightly as he tried to hurry without running, trying to look dignified. And then he turned to look at Nyia.

“He’s right, though, you know that, right? That you would do this… I means a lot, not just to Jon, but to all of us.”

Nyia gave him a warm smile, and said nothing. She knew!

\--- --- --- --- ---

Jon was never quite going to remember all the details of his wedding, but there had been candles. So many candles, burning all around them. It had felt like standing in the middle of a starfall. He had known the church was full of people, of course. All their friends, family. All of them holding a candle, all of them smiling. There had been beautiful organ music playing as they walked down the aisle, and he was pretty sure that the elderly priest had been beaming at them.

But he wasn’t sure; too lost in the moment, Donnie’s hand in his, the realization that this was actually happening after a lifetime of dreams. He’d never truly believed that he’d stand here, that one day the dreams were going to be real. A part of him suddenly panicked, worried that he was going to wake up at any given moment and find himself back with Harley, that everything had just been a dream. But Donnie’s hand felt too real in his, the gentle soothing caress of Donnie’s thumb calming his nerves, telling him that it wasn’t a dream, this was actually happening, they were actually doing this, him and Donnie. They were actually about to get married.

When they at last stood before the priest, the ones that had been invited blew out their candles and took their seats, and the music ebbed out with a gentle melancholy that made Jon’s heart shudder. He felt tears burn at the edge of his eyes, and the look on Donnie’s face said he was in much the same state. He squeezed his hand in reassurance, and finally forced himself to look away from the eyes that had held him captured for longer than he could remember. 

Instead he looked up at the tall window above the altar, and the evening sky that was so endlessly dark above them. Even here, in the city, Jon could see a smattering of stars, shining down on them as if pleased that they at last were here, at this point in time. 

The priest cleared his throat. 

“Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of these two men in a covenant of love. This covenant is the promise of hope between two people who love each other, who understand their love as a gift of God, who trust that love, and who wish to share the future together.”

Donnie squeezed Jon’s hand, as if afraid he’d vanish if he let go. The stars seemed to twinkle.

“Donald, Jonathan, you have chosen to write your own vows. I ask you now to face each other, and to recite them.”

Jon tore his gaze away from the benevolent stars, and turned again to look at the man who held both his hand and his heart in a firm grip. Donnie was smiling, tears slipping down his eyes as if his heart was too full to contain them.

They hadn’t decided who was to speak first, but somehow it felt natural for Jon to begin. So he did.

“I always was a big dreamer. Even when I was scared of dreaming. I dreamed big, and the sky was my limit. Or so I thought. And in every single dream I had, there was you. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t dream about you. You were the hero of every fairy tale, the king of every fantasy. And then I grew up… and you weren’t a knight in shining armor any more. But I realized that… that’s a good thing, because the shining armor is shining because he’s never fought for anything in his life. I dreamed about a prince, and I got a soldier. I love you for that. And I know that no matter what the future holds, we will face it together. Because I am never again waiting on the sidelines, watching the fight, waiting for you to save me. I’m right there with you. By your side. Every day, for the rest of my life.”

Someone started to weep, muffled sobs as if hiding their face in a handkerchief. It felt fitting. Donnie licked his lips, trying to reply but only making an odd little noise. Jon squeezed his hand in encouragement, giving him a tiny smile.

“Jon-” Donnie’s voice broke, and he had to draw a deep breath and start over. “Jon. You’re my best friend! Something happened, that first day we met, something amazing and wonderful, something I can’t explain, but ever since that day, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I think… I know that we were always headed for this exact moment, you and me; we were destined to stand here, together, and promise to love each other forever. We just had to overcome a few obstacles to get here… Jon, I will never stop loving you! I will always be open and honest, always be faithful and… always correct you when you are wrong!”

Jon couldn’t help but laugh, making Donnie smile in return. He had hoped that he would be able to make Jon smile and it had worked. He knew that man so well.

“I’m going to protect you, Jon. No matter what. I swear I’m gonna be there to protect you. Whatever it takes, for as long as I live, I will be there to keep you safe!”

Jon felt the tears burn down his cheeks, but made no attempt to hide them. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had said to him in his life.

There was a moment of silence as their words seemed to sink in to the very stones of the church walls. Then, the priest spoke again, his voice slightly unsteady. But Jon couldn’t quite hear him. He’d said his vows, and not messed them up, and now they just had to finish it. All he was capable of doing was staring into Donnie’s eyes.

And then, there was a ring on his finger, and he said “I do”. And then Donnie was kissing him like he was something ephemeral that would disappear if he wasn’t touched. 

It was, up until that point, the happiest moment of his life.

\--- --- --- --- ---

There were a lot of people making speeches that night, parents, friends, co-workers, but Jordan had a feeling that his would be the one his brother remembered. He had everything prepared, and after Joe had given his speech, making everyone both laugh and cry as he apologized for ‘the little incident at the bachelor party’, Jordan got up, turning slightly to look at Jon and Donnie.

And choked up!

Because there was such a light in his brother’s eyes that he had not seen in so long, and both Jon and Donnie seemed to vibrate with so much love and electricity that it took his breath away. He had waited so long for this moment, had hoped and prayed for so many years, ever since he first realized that Jon was in love with his best friend, that they would have this, that they would get to have their day in front of the altar, to live the rest of their lives together.

He couldn’t get a word out. He was dimly aware that some of the guests were laughing a bit, probably at him, delighted in his failed attempt at a speech, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care. How could he, when his heart was busy bursting with joy and love and pride, when all he could see was how much those two loved each other, how strong they were together, after everything that had happened. Jordan cleared his throat and tried again.

“I know… that there are a lot of us here tonight thinking the exact same thing: It’s about damn time, you guys! We’ve waited a long time for this day to arrive… Probably not as long as you, Jon, but still… a really long time. I love you guys, I do, with all my heart, and… Me and the fellas actually have a little surprise for you. Most of you don’t know this, but ever since Jon was a kid, he’s had this idea of how his dream wedding should be… And even though a lot of it changed over the years, there was one thing that remained the same. A certain song was gonna be played during the first dance. He was very determined about that part…”

He chose not to mention how very adamant Jon had been about that song NOT being played when he was getting married to Harley. Because he knew now why that was. The song was supposed to be played when Jon married his soulmate… when he married the man who owned his heart.

“I’m not gonna embarrass myself by trying to sing, I don’t think anyone wants to hear that, but… if you would direct your attention to the stage…”

Everyone turned and looked towards the stage, where the orchestra started playing as a singled spotlight found Nyia, standing at the center, a big smile on her face.

“If you wouldn’t mind…” Jordan said, stretching out his hand towards the newlyweds, “Jon, Donnie, it’s time for the first dance!”

The very second that Nyia started singing Soul of My Soul, and Jordan saw the look on Jon’s face as they started to slowly move together on the dance floor, he knew that he had done a good thing.

\--- --- --- --- ---

They had all agreed that what had happened in the past should stay there and never be mentioned again. When people would come up to Jon and ask what had happened to his hand, which would probably never be back to normal again, Jon would simply say that he hadn’t been paying attention and got his fingers stuck when he shut the car door.

“That’s painful, dude!” people say and Jon would agree.

“It was! It hurt like hell! But at least I’ve learnt my lesson!” He would add, unconsciously playing with his wedding ring. Lesson learnt, indeed.

With so much love and happiness and celebration going around, it didn’t come as a surprise to anyone that the newlyweds left the party fairly early. Hell, as far as they knew, Jon and Donnie had been screwing like bunnies on speed for months. There were even those who thought that they had been doing it for years, before, during and after Harley.

Donnie didn’t mind the rumors. People could think what they liked. He and Jon knew the truth, that was enough.

He did, however, have something really special planned for their wedding night! And after he had enlisted the help of his three best friends, he was all set to put that plan in motion. As soon as they got to their house, he ran ahead, giddy as a little kid and flung the door open. Instead of going in, though, he waited for Jon to get out of the car.

Jon saw the look on his face and shook his head firmly.

“No way!”

“Come on, Jonny, it’s tradition!”

“You are not carrying me over the freaking threshold, Donnie, forget it!”

“Party-pooper!” Donnie pouted, but stepped aside to at least let Jon get in first. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning as he got in and closed the door.

“You are no fun! What’s the point in having traditions if we’re not gonna follow them?”

“This from the same man, an officer of the law, no less, who just a few years ago said that traditions were outdated and rules were meant to be broken!”

Donnie was still smiling at him and Jon had to accept defeat. He had absolutely no defenses against that man. And he was actually married to that man!

“You realize that we just got married?” Donnie suddenly asked and Jon raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘We did?’.

“I don’t know… You might have to help me with that one! It’s still too impossible to comprehend.” Donnie simply shrugged, took Jon’s hand and guided him towards the door leading to the bedroom.

“I think I can do that! Wait here!” he went in to the bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving his new husband looking rather surprised, actually.

“Are you serious? I’m not gonna stand out here while you are… What are you doing anyway?”

No reply. Jon shook his head again.

“I’m not falling for it, Donnie, this isn’t funny anymore, and we’re grownups now!”

No reply, so finally, Jon just opened the door and went in… and froze. The entire bedroom was filled with burning candles. And standing by the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs, was the man he loved.

It took about two minutes before Jon figured out how to talk.

“I don’t… I… When did you…”

Donnie’s face was illuminated from the dozens and dozens of candles.

“I promised you that this day would be perfect and I intend to make it so!”

Jon took a few steps forward, looking around with eyes as big as saucers. There was even a big bottle of champagne on the table next to the bed, standing in a bucket.

“You did all of this… for me?”

“When are you gonna get it…” Donnie moved to stand right in front of his husband, making sure that Jon saw that he meant every word. “You are an angel walking the earth, Jon… You’ve just forgotten how to fly! You deserve all of this and more and I’m gonna make sure that you get it!”

“But you’ve been with me the whole day, I don’t…”

“Well, I did have some help in setting it all up! The champagne is from Joe, by the way, remind me to call him up and thank him tomorrow! I just want this to be the best day of your life! You’ve spent the past two years in Hell… I’m gonna take you back to Heaven!”

Any other time in any other situation, with any other man, he would probably have been scolded for being so cheesy.

Jon had tears in his eyes. Donnie gave him a light kiss and went to pick up the champagne bottle.

“Now, I know we’re missing glasses, but to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t think we’re gonna need them.”

“Is that right?” Jon looked from Donnie to the bottle in his hand and then back to Donnie. “And why is that? You think we should drink right from the bottle?”

“Oh, no… I intend on pouring it all over your naked body… and then lick it off!” He grinned at the way Jon’s eyes seemed to grow ten times bigger. Putting the bottle back, he reached out a hand towards Jon, who looked a little bit like he was hypnotized. But he came, anyway, straight into the warm embrace of his husband. Donnie’s fingers went straight to work on removing any item of clothing that might stand in his way.

“You see, I was thinking…” he said, as he flung Jon’s shirt on the floor, “on how many different ways one could show his love and affection for the one he would spend the rest of his life with…” He moved in to bury his nose in the crook of Jon’s neck. There was a spot there that he had always known was extremely sensitive to touch, so he paid extra attention to that particular spot, as his hands move down to work on the seemingly impossible task of pulling down Jon’s pants. “This is one way!” he said, and gently licked that special spot again, feeling Jon actually shudder at his touch. He looked up and met Jon’s tearful eyes. It might have been the light from the flickering candles, but it looked like Jon’s eyes were glowing.

“And I am going to spend the rest of my life saying it… and showing it… in every way possible… until you finally understand just how much you actually mean to me!”

He gave Jon another sweet kiss.

“And the first thing I’m going to do, is give you a full body massage… so you need to get on that bed and lie down, on your belly, and let me work my magic…”

He could sense the tension begin to crawl its way up Jon’s spine and spread all through his body, so he took Jon’s hand, the one that now had a gold ring on and held it up against the light, so that Jon could see both their rings.

“You see that?” he asked. “You’re mine, Jon! There is *nothing* I wouldn’t do for you!”

He leaned in and kissed away the tear that had fallen down Jon’s face.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice now nothing more than a whisper and Jon nodded. He did trust Donnie, he trusted him with his life. Always had! “Then have faith in me!” Donnie said, bringing their joined hands to his lips. ”Have faith in this! It’s just you and me here, and I will never do anything that would make you uncomfortable, you know that. I love you, Jon! You’re here, with me, and you’re safe! That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Moving slowly, Donnie walked backwards towards the bed, taking Jon with him. And as soon as Jon was lying on the bed, face down, his whole body rigid, Donnie went to work. As he worked his hands all over Jon’s body, gradually helping him relax, he kept on talking, telling him about his plans for the future, about trips they were going to take. He talked about when they were kids and how their lives had been intertwined since that day, when they first met. They became blood brothers that day, he said, moving his hands from Jon’s shoulders to his back, soulmates from Day 1.

“We were destined for this, Jonathan”, he said, still in that half whispered voice, “we were always headed for this moment, right here.”

There was no telling how long he kept on talking, and working on Jon’s arms and legs and back and neck and that perfectly shaped ass, but Jon was definitely starting to relax. Either that or his body had a mind of its own. Feeling mighty pleased with himself, Donnie allowed Jon to turn over, and judged, by the way Jon’s eyes was burning, that it was time for the next step.

“You realized it yet?” he asked again. Jon shook his head as Donnie leaned in closer.

“I don’t think so!” There was a hint of a smile on Jon’s lips, though, and that, in its own, was another small victory. Donnie gave him a kiss.

“How about now?”

“Not quite!” To be fair, Jon wasn’t entirely sure that he had actually said those words out loud or just heard them spoken in his head. Donnie kissed him again, good and proper this time, as if they would never see each other again.

“I think it’s starting to… sink in…” Jon actually managed to turn the sentence into something really dirty. Another victory! “But”, he added, somewhat out of breath, “you might have to convince me… Just in case!”

This time, when they kissed, Jon’s arms moved like snakes to wrap themselves around Donnie and pull him even closer.

“We are actually married!” Donnie whispered in his ear, as his hands moved over Jon’s body, stopping only to gently pinch the hardened nipples. He didn’t get a reply this time, just a gasp, and that was all the answer he needed.

“You are my husband!” he then said and was rewarded with a small whimper. Jon was usually a very eloquent man, but for some reason, his brain had stopped working the very second that Donnie’s hands started working on his chest, and the ability to speak went with it. His eyes did the talking for him, though, and they said everything that Jon was incapable of saying out loud at the moment.

“I love you!”

Jon tried to say something, he really did, but the only word that managed to escape his lips was:

“Please...”

And if there was one thing that Donnie had learnt, it was that when Jon Knight asked him to do something, Donnie usually ended up doing it. And this time was no different! When he had made sure that Jon was good and ready for more, he sat up a bit, and reached for the champagne bottle, hoping that it wasn’t obvious how his hands were shaking a bit as he opened it. He had been with his fair share of women. He had been with a lot of people’s fair share of women. He had zero experience in being with a man. He wasn’t gonna let that get in the way, though. Jon had told him plenty over the years, he knew what Jon liked, and this night was all about Jon, showing him just how Donnie loved him.

“A wedding night is not complete without champagne!” he explained. Jon nodded, to show that he understood that, but could only moan when Donnie lifted the bottle to his lips and drank from it. It really shouldn’t be so freaking erotic to watch someone drink from a bottle, but it was! Donnie nodded, almost to himself.

“It’s important to check the temperature!” he said, sounding really serious and Jon obediently opened his mouth to have a taste. Donnie carefully tipped the bottle and poured some of it into Jon’s waiting mouth. He had to keep focusing on the bottle, though, because seeing that, and the way Jon licked his lips as he swallowed, reminded him of their indiscretion in the gazebo two years ago and when he did that, his hands started to shake even worse.

Taking a deep breath, he then poured some of the champagne over Jon’s upper body, watching as Jon shivered with eyes that felt like liquid molten lava. He carefully put away the bottle and leaned down to whisper:

“And then, it’s really, really important not to waste a single drop!”

“Oh, fuck!” Jon’s brain managed to provide him with two words, and Donnie moved down and started carefully licking the champagne, driving his husband completely insane. He was quite pleased with his work, and he was getting seriously hot watching Jon come undone before his very eyes. He made a conscious decision to ignore his own release this time. This was all about Jon. But as he settled comfortably between Jon’s legs, sticking out his tongue to move it teasingly over Jon’s very prominent erection, hearing his name being moaned from Jon’s wet lips, he felt a rush through his entire body that caught him completely off guard. Perhaps this wouldn’t be a problem, after all. 

He decided to test the waters, so to speak, and slowly wrapped his lips around the weeping head. Jon moaned his name again, and Donnie realized just how this night would end. He wouldn’t even have to touch himself.

He would probably cum, just from hearing Jon saying his name.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“You were amazing up on that stage!”

Nyia gave him a smile. It seemed like she had been doing that a lot lately, she realized, smiling at Joe for no reason at all. It was just so easy to smile when he was around. After that night, when they talked and Nyia had agreed to give him a chance, they had spent almost every other night together. Joe had taken her to the movies, to dinner, dancing, he had been the perfect gentleman, treating her as if she were a goddess. He had listened to everything she said, asked all the right questions and been just as lovely as he had been before she found out about… what he did for a living.

He had quit that very night. He had called the director and told him, with her sitting right next to him, that he was out, effective immediately, and not to call or contact him again.

He did that, for her!

Sometimes, she would think to herself if he missed it, if he felt that he had made a mistake. Sometimes, she would wonder if he would compare her to all the other women he had been with, once they actually slept together, and find her lacking. Maybe there was something they did that she wouldn’t do.

Sometimes, she thought about watching some of his movies, without telling him about it, to get an idea about who he was, but decided against it. He had left that world behind, for her, the fact that she was curious shouldn’t ruin that.

Sometimes she felt like the luckiest woman in the world for having such a wonderful boyfriend. And sometimes, his refusal to become intimate with her felt really frustrating. It’s not that she didn’t understand, he waited for her, he wanted her to be sure about it, but the thing was that… She was sure! She was ready. And she knew it even more now, as he walked her home from the wedding. He would never touch her in any way until she told him to, and tonight, she was going to do exactly that.

Maybe it was a cliché, wanting to sleep with your boyfriend after a wedding, but she didn’t care.

So when they reached her apartment, and Joe kissed her goodnight, she put her arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes.

“Stay!” she said, not even smiling this time. “Not for a drink, not to sit up and talk… Stay the night! With me!”

His eyes became impossibly huge and her heart started pounding.

“Are you sure?”

She was more sure now than ever, and she kissed him firmly on the lips, the pounding surging through her entire body as he pulled her closer. Even her lips were throbbing as she quickly turned around to open the door. She might want him, but not out in the hallway where anyone could see. As soon as they were both inside, though, and the door closed behind them, all bets were off.

\--- --- --- --- ---

When Joe and Nyia two months later announced that they were having a baby, Jon and Donnie decided to wait a few days before telling everyone about the little girl they were going to adopt, to avoid being accused of stealing someone’s thunder again. In fact, they were all getting so good at that, that Danny jokingly had started up a list about who had done the most thunder-stealing. The one with the most stolen thunders then had the right to demand something from the one who had done the most stealing, be it a favor or a homemade dinner or whatever could qualify as a proper demand.

So far, Donnie was in the lead, with Joey being the biggest thunder-stealer, revealing his and Nyia’s engagement on the day Jordan and Reema’s son was born. So when Jon told everyone about Destiny Grace, who would be arriving to their loving arms shortly, Donnie had been giving Joe the Evil Eye, almost daring him to say anything. Joe had stayed quiet, like a good boy, simply congratulating the two of them on becoming daddies. When Jon and Donnie announced that they were hoping that Joe, Jordan and Danny, their dearest friends, would be Destiny’s godfathers, though, Joey couldn’t keep quiet any longer and confessed that he and Nyia were hoping that Jon and Donnie would do the same for their little girls, because oh, yeah, they were having twins.

“You owe me, McIntyre!” Donnie said, laughing, as everybody hugged and laughed. Joe shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah? Well, whatcha gonna do ‘bout it?”

Which somehow lead to a wrestling match that eventually included all five of them, with Nyia and Reema standing next to Sally, slowly shaking their heads at their husbands.

“Look at them! Soon to be responsable fathers, acting like children!” Sally said, with a sigh.

“Yeah, they might act like a bunch of kids”, Nyia agreed, one hand on her big belly, “but let’s be honest here… You’d join them in a heartbeat!”

“In a heartbeat!” Sally said, grinning.

They all laughed as the five friends continued their fun and games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am quite proud of this fic, to be honest. It has taken a lot of time and energy, but I wanted it to be the best it could be, and I think I succeeded.
> 
> I did had some help from the impeccable Adara_Rose for the wedding scene, and I will love her forever for doing that.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. And now, I can finally move on to the other WIPs I have, waiting for me.


End file.
